Bran let out a sigh of resignation. “Yeah,” he said, looking past Cole and out at the backyard. “It tells me she deserves someone who can give her a lot more than I can.”
And in that moment, he knew he had to stop what was between them.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
JESS POURED HERSELF some orange juice and tried to decide if she wanted yogurt and berries this morning or something a little more comforting, like toast with butter and jam. She was feeling rather out of sorts after yesterday. The trip to the island had been fun and she’d enjoyed it, but she wasn’t so sure about her latest revelation.
She didn’t want to be in love with Bran. Up until yesterday, she’d been able to logic her way out of it. But then there was that moment. The moment he’d kissed her, however, something had shifted. Something profound and deep and joyful and sad and terrifying all wrapped up in one ball of emotion.
She loved him, and she wasn’t sure if she should break it off now for the sake of self-preservation, or if she should give herself these final weeks as a gift, no matter the end result.
She really wished Ana was here to give her advice and ask her the right questions. Tori was a good friend. Jess had other friends in Chicago. But none like Ana.
A wave of grief threatened to swamp her, so instead she reached for her pillbox, which contained her vitamins and birth control. She stared at the little plastic strip with surprise. How was it that she was on her two sugar pills? It meant she’d get her period anytime. She went to her bedroom to get the next month’s supply out of the drawer and put it in the little sleeve. So much had changed since her last cycle. It had literally been only a little over a month since she’d met Bran. Her whole world had been turned upside down.
She was just eating her yogurt when her phone buzzed. It was a text from Bran, explaining that Cole was in town for only a few more days and they were going to spend some time together, but he’d be in touch by the weekend. That was that, then. She’d have time to think and make some decisions before seeing him again.
And in the meantime, she’d paint. There was nothing that helped her work through her problems like putting her heart on canvas.
* * *
By Saturday Jess was starting to panic.
She was three days into her new pack of pills and she hadn’t had a period at all. Granted, being on the pill made them lighter, but usually on her second sugar pill she started, like clockwork. She laid in bed, staring at the bunk above her, trying not to freak out over the fact that she might be pregnant. Because she’d replayed every detail of her nights with Bran, and had discovered that the morning after their hotel stay she hadn’t taken her pill at all. She’d missed it completely. It shouldn’t make a difference, but it could. They’d had room service, and she’d come home and had been so distracted that she was sure she’d missed her pill and her vitamins.
She couldn’t be pregnant. Oh, Lord, what a mess that would be. She wanted children but not this way. Not with a man who didn’t want any. Not on her own with no support. She didn’t know how to be a mother.
She threw off the covers. Okay, so that might be putting the cart a long way before the horse. She really couldn’t do anything until she took a test. Maybe she just missed for whatever reason. And if it was positive, then she’d figure things out. One step at a time.
The drive to the pharmacy didn’t take that long, and Jess figured there was no point in waiting and putting o
ff something that wouldn’t change the outcome. So she took one of the tests out of the box and into the bathroom she went. Then she came out and made coffee while waiting the three minutes suggested.
When she went back in and looked at the stick, she let out a huge breath.
Negative.
Her hand shook as she dropped the test in the trash can and sat on top of the toilet for a moment, trying to make sense of her feelings. There was relief, of course, because this was so not the right time and even though she was in love with him, Bran wasn’t the right man no matter how much she might want him to be. But there was also disappointment. She thought of all the times she’d held Rose, snuggled her close, and how she longed for her own family. Those feelings were there, too. At least the result had clarified much of her thoughts. She and Bran wanted different things. They were just fooling themselves with ground rules and flings and whatever else. He was a good man. They might even be good for each other. But that didn’t mean they had a future.
She was just fixing her coffee when there was a knock on the door and then it opened, as she’d left it unlocked as she usually did during the day. Bran came through the door, a small smile on his face, and a paper bag in his hand. “I went to the bakery,” he said, holding up the bag. “And got chocolate croissants.”
She wasn’t ready for this conversation, so she smiled back and kept it light. “I just made coffee. I’ll get you some.”
“Sounds good. How’ve you been?”
What a loaded question. She hesitated and then said, “All right. Has Cole gone back to New York?”
“He left last night.”
She handed him a mug. “You had a good visit though, huh?”
Bran nodded. “We did. We caught up about a lot of stuff. This island project of his...it’s pretty cool.”
“So he’s going to do it?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Bran’s grin was genuinely wide now. “Who knew? The three of us went to school together, live within an hour or so of each other, and now have second homes here in Nova Scotia. You’d almost think we were brothers.”
Her heart melted at the genuine affection in his voice. “You are, in all the ways that count. I think it’s lovely.”