Best Man for the Wedding Planner

“Did you think I’d leave you?” The edge in his voice was sharp. “Is that how little you thought of me? That after three years, I wouldn’t stand by you? Did you even know me at all?”

He jumped up from the bench and paced to the railing. A pointed curse left his lips and he hung his head. “You lied, Delly. You stood in front of me and told me you didn’t feel the same as you used to. That we were better off apart.” He swore again and ran his hand through his hair. “I can’t even... My God.”

“I didn’t lie,” she said quietly, her fingers clenched so tightly now, they hurt. “I meant every word I said. I didn’t feel the same because I wasn’t the same. I wasn’t in charge of my own damned body, don’t you see? Bits and pieces of me were going to be cut away. Everything changed in those moments! Everything! And while the prognosis was good, in every cancer patient’s mind there comes a moment when they wonder if this is it. Or if a recurrence will hit them from nowhere. Learning I would never have children was devastating enough. But I faced my mortality, Dan. When I was barely more than a kid.”

“You didn’t have to do it alone!”

Her breath hitched. “I know. I knew you would stand by me. You would have gone to every appointment and been there when I woke up from surgery. And I knew that every time I’d look in your eyes, it would be with the knowledge that I could never give you the family you wanted. And that one day you would resent me for it. Hate me, maybe. I couldn’t stand that. You...you needed to be with someone who could give you all the things I couldn’t, so I set you free.”

“Free? You think I’ve been free?”

The anguish in his words tore through her gut. “Haven’t you been? You’ve dated. You’ve been free to marry someone, have children... Don’t you still have those options?” Frustration bubbled up and then out of her mouth. “At least you still have those options, Daniel! I don’t. I never will.”

Silence fell in the little gazebo. A couple who was walking along the river path had stopped and looked up when they heard her raised voice, and now resumed their stroll.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I didn’t mean to shout. It’s just... I left because I thought doing so was the kindest thing I could do for you. Just because I couldn’t have a family didn’t have to mean that you couldn’t.”

“You might have told me why.”

Oh, the bitterness. It sliced into her like she alw

ays knew it would, but perhaps this was like lancing an old wound. At some point, you had to let the crappy stuff out so it could heal properly. It was an ugly, messy business.

So she inhaled, exhaled slowly, got up and walked to where he stood. She put her hand on his arm. “I thought about it. And I knew you’d try to change my mind. Insist it was no big deal and we could deal with it together. And I’ll confess, you probably would have been able to convince me. It was so painful, leaving you. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that I was giving you a...a gift. The chance to have the kind of life we never could together.”

“You don’t see me having that life now, do you?” he asked, the bitterness still ringing in his voice. “Do you want to know why? Because I don’t trust anyone. I get just so close and then I break it off before they can leave me. That’s what you did to me, Adele. Some gift.”

He made a scoffing sound and turned away. She bit down on her lip and fought back against the tears that threatened. “That wasn’t my intention,” she murmured, her breath forming a tiny cloud in front of her face. “I was twenty-one, Dan. We were so young. I’d never had to navigate a relationship like ours before. And cancer changed everything. It seemed like a lot to ask of a guy who was just getting his undergrad.”

“So you made the choice for me. Nice.”

“Can you please try to understand my feelings on this?”

His gaze snapped to hers. “I can’t understand anything right now. I’m still trying to make sense of it in my head.” He started to back away. “I need to go. I’m going back to the hotel. I need to think. I’m sorry, Adele.”

Back to Adele—not Delly. He was upset. Angry, certainly. And probably confused. She’d had years to think about this, and he’d just had it all dumped in his lap.

“Of course. I understand.”

Two words. Two words she’d wanted him to utter, but knew now he never would. He’d never understand why she’d made the choices she had. And he probably wouldn’t forgive her, either. But now it was all out in the open.

He spun on a heel, jogged down the few steps of the gazebo and took off across the white expanse of the park, his steps quick and purposeful.

Adele stood there for a while, watching him go. Eight and a half years ago, he’d had to watch her walk away. And now it was her turn.

CHAPTER NINE

THE HOT SHOWER did nothing to wash away the mess of emotions roiling through his head and stomach.

Delly couldn’t have children.

She’d lied about why she was leaving him.

God, she’d gone through that all alone.

She’d taken the choice away from him when he hadn’t even realized there was a choice to be made.

The last two were the ones that hurt him the most. That she’d unilaterally made a decision that would affect both their lives without even considering he should have a say in it hit him square in the gut. A part of him had wanted to ask, “Who do you think you are?” but he’d held it inside, the words jumbled together like a mouth full of marbles.