Best Man for the Wedding Planner

He reached across the table and took her fingers in his. “You broke my heart,” he admitted softly. “And you broke my trust, Delly. But I never really got over you, either.”

The cramp was still centered in her chest, a confusing combination of anticipation and fear. Where would all this lead? Was she ready for it? Was he? Because nothing had changed. Not really.

“I can see your mind working,” he said, laughing a little and dispelling a bit of the tension. “We don’t have to have all the answers now, Del. Let’s leave it at you care about me, and I care about you, and we’ll take this one day at a time. One hour at a time, if we need to.”

It was good advice. It was the kind of advice she’d been given during her treatment. But could she really let go of her reservations and just be with him? Was that realistic, considering the circumstances? She wanted it to be, and maybe that was enough.

“That sounds good,” she murmured, picking up her fork. “In the moment.”

He picked up his fork, too. “And in this moment, we’re together, having a wonderful dinner, and you look beautiful, and I intend to enjoy every minute.”

“Me, too.”

They were still holding hands, and he rubbed his thumb over the top of hers before letting go and sitting back, preparing to eat. They nibbled on salad and sipped their wine, and then took their time with the cheese fondue, smothering cubes of baguette with the rich, gooey blend. When the next course came, Adele was already starting to feel full, so she picked at the spätzle and took her time savoring small bites of the tender jaeger schnitzel. Through it all they talked about lighter things, leaving the question of their relationship to the side.

Dan was just as entertaining as he’d always been, and she got a warm feeling deep inside when he talked about his family. He was especially close to Drew, even though they didn’t see each other often with Drew traveling so much. But his stories about their antics when they were together—including the time they came face-to-face with a black bear while hiking—kept her laughing.

The evening was waning and their plates were cleared when the chocolate fondue was brought out, with a platter of fruit, cubes of banana bread and soft marshmallow.

“What about your mom, Del?” Dan changed the subject as Adele prepared to dip a strawberry in the smooth melted chocolate.

The simple question changed the mood, and Adele looked up at him as she swirled the strawberry a bit, letting the excess chocolate drip off. “I don’t see her much. She’s still doing her own thing. It’s not that we don’t get along, exactly.” She took a bite of the strawberry and pondered. “It’s more...we don’t know each other. We never have. We call each other now and again, but it’s hard to know what to talk about. I haven’t seen her in three years, when I went home for a week.”

“She hasn’t come out here?”

Adele shook her head. “She said she doesn’t like to fly. I’m not sure I believe her. I think she’s just...well, in a rut. She’s been this way for so long, I think she simply can’t comprehend change.”

“I’m really sorry. I know your relationship with her was always a bit distant.”

Adele nodded and looked down at her plate. “Truth is, she wasn’t around a whole lot when I was sick, either. She came right after my surgery and stayed a week, and then I was on my own again.”

Dan’s face darkened with anger. “I can’t believe she wasn’t there for you. She’s your mother, for God’s sake.”

Adele smiled thinly. “Don’t blame her too much. I told her she couldn’t take a bunch of time off work and I’d be fine. Neither one of us has pushed really hard to have a relationship. I’m partly to blame.”

Adele wondered if her infertility had hindered that, too. Not just because she’d never give her mom any grandchildren, but because she’d isolated herself from everyone, not just Dan. She hadn’t trusted them to be there for her, so she’d bailed before they had a chance to.

She’d been reaching for a piece of marshmallow when she paused, her hand poised above the platter. She lifted her gaze and looked at Dan, so handsome in the candlelight. So...forgiving. Was he really ready to try again? After she’d hurt him so much?

She lowered her hand and looked into his eyes.

“I didn’t think I’d be enough,” she whispered, not trusting herself to speak any louder. “I wasn’t enough to keep my dad from leaving my mom. I wasn’t enough for my mom, either. I was always a...a burden. I was terrified I’d be a burden to you, too. And definitely not enough.” She swallowed against a few tears that had formed, clogging her throat. “When I found out I couldn’t have children... I knew it. I couldn’t bear the thought of giving all of myself to you—what was left of me—and having it handed back. But I was wrong, Dan. I didn’t trust you, and I should have.”

His eyes were suspiciously shiny as he answered, “Yes, you should have. Because I was ready to be in it for the long haul.”

They left the rest of the fondue; she was full anyway. Dan paid the check and retrieved her coat. “Do you want to walk back to the hotel?”

She had on boots and her warm coat, and it was a clear winter’s night. “Let’s walk to the falls. I’ve never seen it in the dark.”

“If you want to.”

She smiled. “It’ll give me a chance to walk off dinner.”

And the opportunity to have more time before deciding what to do.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

ONCE OUTSIDE, SHE slid her gloved hand into his. The night was still and silent; not even the cars on the highway were audible. The moon watched from overhead, not quite full, and the sky was full of stars. They ambled down the narrow road to the parking lot of Bow Falls, the rush of water now a dull shushing sound as they got closer. Adele’s toes were a little cold, but she would warm them up later. Right now she was going to enjoy the moment.