“Dan’s gone.”
“I gathered that.” She leaned back and sipped from her glass. “What happened?”
“What didn’t?” Now that Adele had had a good cry, she could speak without losing it. “I haven’t talked to you in a few days. We went dogsledding...it was so fun...and then a real dinner date. Our feelings...” Her throat clogged again and she took a moment, plus another good pull of wine before continuing. “We admitted we hadn’t stopped loving each other. And he wanted me to stay with him all night, but I didn’t. I had to think.”
“Uh-oh.” Harper reached into the chip bowl. “I know what that means.”
“What?”
She crunched down on a chip. “Oh, honey. You overthink things. You think them to death. It works great in your business, but in life...sometimes you have to go with your gut. Fly by the seat of your pants.”
“I don’t overthink. I just deal with what’s in front of me.”
“Sure. Okay, go on. Then what happened?”
“Then he came here today and...” She paused, but when she spoke again, it all came out in a rush. “And he wanted to try again, but he doesn’t trust me not to hurt him again. And then his sister had a baby and I still can’t give him the family he wants and how could we make it work between Toronto and here? It doesn’t make sense. And so he left.”
Harper stared at her. “I hope you weren’t that blunt.”
“It’s not that I don’t love him. I do.”
“Then what the hell is the problem?” Harper put her glass down on the table and sat back, folding her hands in her lap. “Listen, Adele, I love you. You’re the closest thing to a sister I’ve ever had. But you don’t let yourself get close to anyone, including me. I’ve known all along that you were guarding secrets. How can you really love someone if you don’t let them in? And that’s what you did to Dan, all those years ago. You deprived him of the joy—and yes, the pain—of being by your side when you were sick. You spoke for him and took his voice. Would you want someone to do that to you?”
Adele’s mouth dropped open.
“I know, this is some serious tough love, but you can’t go on this way. You’re a wedding planner. Why does everyone get a happy-ever-after but you? Don’t you think you deserve it?”
Her throat started to burn.
“And of course Dan doesn’t trust you yet. You broke his heart. You left. It’s natural he’d be afraid you might do it again, and it’s up to you to prove otherwise. But by God, you need to fight for him if you want him.”
Harper let out a big breath, reached for her wine and took a gulp.
“If you’d seen his face when he got the text about his new nephew,” Adele whispered.
“And you can’t have kids. This is not a new development, and you told Dan, and he still fell for you again this week. I mean, has he actually come out and said it would be a deal breaker?”
“Of course not, but—”
“No buts. Sweetie, this is you putting up walls. I don’t know why, but I recognize it when I see it.” She tempered her voice and touched Adele’s knee. “I’m not saying it wasn’t devastating. I can see that it was. And I’m not trying to be insensitive, but I have to ask. Does your infertility make you feel like less of a woman?”
Adele thought about it for a minute, still reeling from the blunt but caring speech she’d been treated to. “No. I’m not less of a woman. A woman isn’t defined by her reproductive parts. But somehow, I feel like...a mother is.”
Harper’s gaze softened. “I’m going to tell you a little something about myself that I don’t usually tell. I’m adopted. I was adopted at birth by my mom and dad and I can tell you right now, that motherhood isn’t defined by reproductive parts, either. Because that’s biology, and motherhood...” She leaned over and put her hand on Adele’s heart. “That’s in here. If you open it up and take a chance.”
Adele sniffed again, swiped at her eyes with her right hand and took the hand Harper had over her heart in her left. “Why didn’t I call you yesterday?” she wailed.
Harper sighed. “Because you’re scared. And in love. And you’re letting logistics get conveniently in the way. If you truly want a solution, you’ll find a solution. I promise. Now let’s finish this chocolate, binge on the chips, drink the wine and have a sleepover. We can talk until the wee hours and then tomorrow you can decide what you’re going to do.”
Adele blinked away the moisture in her lashes and smiled. “You are a great friend, Harper.”
“I know. Now, pass the chips.”
* * *
Dan sat at a makeshift desk in the downtown office and tapped his pen against the legal pad in front of him. He usually used a pen and paper to jot down notes—there was still something about working things out in ink that he liked—but today he’d hardly done anything but doodle on the top page.
Oh, he’d worked on his laptop and had a call with head office as a follow-up to a report he’d received, bu