And wondered if that was because of the example set at home. His mother had not been a nurturer. It was something that he and Jeremy had in common. Jeremy had had a stepdad. Cole had still had his father, but his father had barely been around. His first love was always Abbott Industries. And when his will had been read, his instruction to his son was “Please don’t ruin my company.” Nothing about being happy or finding love...and when Cole had looked at his mother’s impassive face at the cemetery, he’d wondered if they’d ever loved each other at all.
He let out a long breath, wishing he knew how to let go of the past. But it popped up now and again, and more often lately. He couldn’t imagine living in a loveless marriage—or worse, loving someone only to have them stop loving you.
Especially when you weren’t really that lovable to begin with.
“That was a ‘deep thought’ kind of sigh. You okay?”
He felt her gaze on his profile and stared at the stars. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking.”
“What about?”
“My family.” He debated whether or not he should say more. He didn’t talk about his personal life. But there was something about Brooklyn that invited him to be open. “My mother would never have done this. Neither would my dad. To be honest, I’m not even sure why they had me. I spent my whole life trying to gain their approval, or rebelling at never getting it. Now it’s too late anyway.”
“Even for your mother? I know your dad is gone, but she’s still living, right?”
“Yeah. We don’t have much of a relationship. She wasn’t very maternal.”
“I see.”
“I spent a lot of time looking for validation, and not enough time actually living. Being here on the island has hammered that home, and sometimes I’m not sure what to do with it.”
“It sounds like you made a lot of life changes after your health scare.”
“Let’s call it what it is. I had a breakdown. Of course it was all kept super quiet, because if it had gotten out, Abbott stock would have plummeted.”
“That’s a lot of pressure to put on a single person, Cole.”
He didn’t answer, because she was right.
“So what are you going to do? Walk away?”
“No.” That he was able to answer definitively. “I do know I have to stop being self-destructive. Being a workaholic is not the answer. But I still need to have a purpose and a reason to be busy. I can’t just hide away here. It’s nice for a little while, but not forever.”
“Balance.”
“Yeah. It’s one of those words that get thrown around a lot, but for me it means making sure I take time out, that I don’t burn out, that I don’t have to do everything myself. It sounds like it should be easy, but when you’ve lived that way your whole life, the habits are hard to break.”
He’d been on the island a few weeks, and he was already getting antsy to get back. He did actually like his job. He liked building things and helping people and solving problems. And so far he had not ruined the company. On the contrary.
“You have wonderful friends who support you.” She nudged a little closer and he wondered if she was cold.
“Here,” he said, sitting up a bit and holding his arm out. “You’re cold. Snuggle in.”
She hesitated for a moment, then just when he thought she was going to say no, she slid closer and let him pull her next to his body. She fit there so well. Made him want things he’d never wanted in his life.
They stargazed a few minutes more, silent but for the waves slipping over the sand. He wondered what he should do. He could send her home and say he needed to get back to his friends. He could walk her home and say good-night, and be a gentleman. He could turn toward her and kiss her soft, full lips, even though they’d agreed they would not be sharing kisses again.
He should send her home. Get back. Forget about this impulsive beach trip and make plans to head back to New York soon. She wasn’t the kind of woman he could or should play games with.
He rolled to his side so he was facing her and rested his head on his hand, braced by his elbow.
Her lips twitched. “You’re supposed to be looking at the stars.”
“I’m looking at something more beautiful than stars.”
“There’s a line.”
“It’s not a line if it’s true.”