“You felt what?”
He met her gaze. “In the way.”
Her eyes softened with what looked to Cole like regret, and her lips turned down a little. “I’m sorry about that. Your father’s and my relationship was...complicated.” She put down her cup and rested her hands in her lap. “Why are you asking this now? Have you...met someone?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
She gave a delicate scoff. “Oh, Cole, we both know that falling in love with someone makes us question everything.”
There was something in her voice that gave him pause. She fiddled with her fingers once more and he noticed that they were ringless. She’d stopped wearing her wedding rings. While a tiny part of him wanted to be outraged on his father’s behalf, he knew he couldn’t be. They’d had a cold marriage. Why shouldn’t she take off the rings?
Why hadn’t they divorced? Lord knew enough of his friends had had divorced parents.
“That’s an interesting comment, considering it never really seemed like you—” He paused, reconsidered his phrasing. “Like you and dad were in love.”
Her gaze slid away for a moment. “We weren’t. But it doesn’t mean I don’t know what love is, Cole. Don’t be naive.”
Of course. He was looking at all this through tunnel vision. He’d always considered his parents as, well, parents. Not exactly...people. Which was rather selfish of him, really. Brooklyn would tell him to keep an open mind, wouldn’t she? That people hid all sorts of pain behind personal façades.
“I’m sorry, Mother. That was uncalled for.”
“Not necessarily. I know we failed you. I wasn’t happy, Cole, and it affected every part of my life. Including how I parented you. I was awful at it.” She met his gaze again. “I was not a good mother. I don’t think I really knew how desperately unhappy I was until I—” her cheeks pinkened “—well, until I was free to be happy.”
“And now you are?”
She nodded. “Yes. Oh, Cole, if you hadn’t called me to your office, I was going to come visit anyway. I have news for you.”
She wore an expression he’d never seen before. It was warm and peaceful and happy, and took a good ten years off her face. “What is it?”
“I want to tell you I’m getting remarried,” she said with an unexpected softness to her voice. “And I wanted you to know before anyone else.”
He sat back. Of all the announcements, this was the last thing he expected. “Remarried? To whom?” His brain jumped back over the past few months. The rings were missing from her fingers. Had she been seeing anyone special? How had he missed it? Then again, he’d been on his own private island, hidden away from the world.
“It’s Edward.”
“Edward...?”
“Mowbry.”
“Your lawyer?” Cole let out a huge breath. “Good God, when did this happen?”
She looked him in the eye and said, “Thirty years ago.”
Cole put down his coffee before he could spill it. “Wait. I would have been—”
“Five.” She held his gaze, never wavering. “So yes. It means I had an affair. Though I hate calling it an affair. It sounds so tawdry. I fell in love.”
“Did Dad know?”
“Oh, he knew.” Now that she’d made her announcement, she’d relaxed. She took a calm sip of her coffee. “Truthfully, Cole, we probably should never have married. His family had money, my family had money, we were in the right social sphere. And we liked each other well enough, but that’s not enough to build a marriage on. We learned that very quickly.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Cole was still trying to process everything. He’d idolized his dad, even though he’d often felt as if nothing he did was good enough. But they’d had their share of happy times. And Cole had soaked up every small bit of praise from his father like he was a man dying of thirst and his father’s praise was lifesaving water. To learn she’d had an affair...
“I wasn’t a good mother, and I can’t change that,” she said softly. “I was unhappy, and your father was always talking about you being the future of the company and it was like you were all that mattered and I was...nothing. When he found out about Edward, it was awful. He didn’t speak to me for weeks.”
“Why didn’t you divorce him? If you were that unhappy?”
“Edward broke it off. And I didn’t know how to do it on my own. Your dad would have put me through a horrible court case if I wanted any alimony. And he would never have allowed me to take you with me. So I stayed.”