Secret Millionaire for the Surrogate

CHAPTER ELEVEN

DREW HELD HARPER’S hand in his and tried not to show that inside he was freaking out.

It wasn’t that he wanted her to leave, or that their time together had been a mistake. He was freaking out because for the first time in his life, he wanted to stay somewhere and never leave.

With her.

Her eyes sparkled at him with good humor. There was nothing he wanted more than for her to spend the rest of the night right here, in his bed.

But she couldn’t. The very idea made his insides freeze with fear. Instead he looked into her eyes, lifted her hand and kissed her fingers.

He was falling in love. At least that’s what he figured it was, because it was unlike any other feeling he’d experienced. It should be impossible to feel terrified and happy all at once. Right now terrified was tangling with desire and he had no idea what to do about it.

“I should probably get going,” she said softly, and there was a pause. Was she waiting for him to ask her to stay?

He wanted to. God, did he want to. But he knew it was better for everyone if he didn’t. “I suppose you have work in the morning.”

“Yeah, and a wedding rehearsal tomorrow night.” But her easy words didn’t reach her eyes. It wasn’t how he wanted their date to end, but sex was out of the question. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them. Besides, she had enough complications with the pregnancy in the months ahead.

It had nothing to do with being afraid. Nothing.

“Harper, about earlier... I want you to know that I think we made the right decision. I want to be with you. It’s just that if we go all in with this, it’s going to make it harder next Friday when I fly out.”

She nodded a tiny bit. “Next Friday, then. That’s the day?”

“I’ve got a flight early afternoon, through LA.”

“You didn’t mention it before.”

“It happened yesterday. And today I forgot about it while we were out.”

Which wasn’t exactly true. He’d remembered but hadn’t seen the need to bring it into the conversation. Now it seemed important. To set boundaries where a few hours ago there’d been none.

She didn’t say anything, and her thumb stopped moving on his hand. The knot of panic doubled in size.

“Listen,” he said softly, pulling his hand away and brushing hair away from her face. “We both know where this is going and where it isn’t. I don’t want to hurt you, Harper. And I don’t want to make false promises.” The knot started to actually hurt now. “You told me about the guy you fell for and how much it hurt when he left. I don’t want to be that guy. I’ve been that man before and the last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

“You’ve been honest from the beginning and so have I. I know you’re not a forever kind of guy, Drew. I’ve got my eyes wide open, remember?”

She didn’t mean the words as an accusation, so why did it feel that way?

“I know you do. But...and I can’t believe I’m about to say this...it might be good for us to use a little bit of caution, at least.” He wanted to kiss her so badly right now he ached with it. She looked so soft, so vulnerable, and yet determined, too. He loved that about her.

Love. Exactly the reason he had to go.

She grinned. “I’m already pregnant. We don’t have to worry too much about caution.”

He closed his eyes, trying not to smile at her dry crack at humor. “You’re deliberately misunderstanding me, and that’s okay.” He opened his eyes again. In the dim light through the blinds her eyes seemed dark and grey and her freckles were barely noticeable. He wished he was as adept with a camera as she was. She’d make a stunning photo right now. “I’m going to be back in town now and again, Harper. For the store. To see Dan. I don’t want it to be awkward or worse, tense and angry between us. Does that make sense?”

“Yes,” she breathed, and she blinked a few times. He didn’t see tears, thank God. If she cried he wouldn’t be able to handle it. “You’re protecting yourself.”

“And you.” It was true. Sure, he was panicked enough for both of them, but he also didn’t want to hurt her. “When I go, I want it to be with you smiling. If we play house for the next week, I’m not sure either of us will be able to keep our perspective.”

Her eyes flashed. “Then I’ll go right now, and we’ll let that be it. The perfect ending to a perfect day.”

It was like a punch to the gut, but he answered calmly, “If that’s what you want.”

Silence dropped over the room.