Secret Millionaire for the Surrogate

But that was over. It wasn’t living. She’d started to learn with her friendship with Adele, and maybe it was the emotions stirred up by the pregnancy or just her time with Drew, but she wasn’t going to close herself off anymore. She was going to feel, dammit.

Feel everything. Even when it hurt.

“If this is it, Drew, then I’m going to be honest with you. I think you’re being a coward right now. I think you care and you’re running scared. Or maybe to you I’m not worth it. I know how I feel. You told me that I wasn’t plain or ordinary. That I was kind and generous. You made me feel like I could finally step out from behind the lens and be me. And you made me fall in love with you. I’m not afraid to say it. I thought I would be, but I’m not anymore.” She took a big breath. “I love you, and I never once considered asking you for more because it would mean asking you to stop being you. So don’t put this on me, okay? If you want to be done, say so. I never put any pressure on you for more and we both know it.”

His jaw tightened and silence dropped like a hammer in the car. She knew he couldn’t say those words back. The longer he was silent, the more horrible it became. Finally he was able to form a few words. “I think I should go back to the hotel now. I can walk back if you don’t want to drive.”

That was it? She said I love you and she got nothing? Worse than nothing. She turned the key in the ignition and the engine came to life. “I’ll take you.” Inside she was crumbling, but only a little. Not because she was wrong, but because she was sad that this was the way it was ending. He wouldn’t even talk.

The drive took about a minute and a half, but it felt much longer as neither of them spoke on the way. She parked in the passenger drop-off and left the engine running, though she put the car in Park.

“Harper... I didn’t want it to end like this. I swear I didn’t. I thought I could do this week and just walk away. But it’s not fair. Not to you, not to me. We were fooling ourselves, you know? I don’t want this to end with you angry with me.”

She looked over at him, frustrated and sad and disappointed and a lot of other emotions she couldn’t sort through yet. “I am angry with you, Drew. You were the one who pursued me. Who kissed me. Who made me believe I could step outside myself and take a chance. You whisked me off in a helicopter and took me to dinner and invited me to your hotel room. And now you’re the one backing away. I’m disappointed. Not because we’re over, because I always knew we would be. But because you freaked out at a stupid wedding and did it this way.”

“I don’t want it to be like this. I want us to part with a smile and good wishes. Please, Harper. Understand I’m doing this because I don’t want to hurt you.”

She felt a trembling start inside and braced herself against it, wanting to be alone when the crying started. “It’s too late for that,” she answered, staring at a nick on the leather of the steering wheel.

He cursed beneath his breath, then undid his seat belt.

He was leaving. Walking away, just like everyone else. Not the way they’d agreed, but on his terms, because once again she didn’t matter. Not enough. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...love had made a fool of her again. And still, she couldn’t bring herself to regret it.

Her breath caught in her chest, strangling her.

He got out, then looked inside at her, his eyes sad and lips drooping. “I’m sorry, Harper, I really never wanted to hurt you. I think this is for the best. Like ripping off a Band-Aid.”

For him. And that was fine. She’d relied on herself for a long time, and she’d do so again.

“Goodbye, Drew,” she said, a hitch in her voice.

After a long moment, he sighed. “Bye, Harper.”

He straightened and shut the door. For one prolonged second, she hesitated, wanting him to open the door and say it was all a mistake. That he loved her, too, that he was sorry for being afraid and a jerk and that he wanted to go home with her and make everything right.

But that wasn’t Drew. It never had been, and she knew it, so she resolutely put the car in gear and pulled away.

And she didn’t look in the rearview mirror, either.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

DREW HAD ASKED Dan to drive him to the airport. There was no reason to stay in Banff any longer; any business with the building purchase could easily be handled from Sacramento. He’d been staying mostly to handle things in person and be close to Harper, but now he knew it was time to go.

Dan pulled up to the hotel entrance and got out of his car. “Hey, brother. This is everything?”

He tended to travel light. There was one suitcase, and his backpack that doubled as a carry-on. “This is it. Thanks for the lift.” He’d had his rental picked up last night. And he could have hired a car service, but he felt the need to see his brother before leaving again.

“No problem. I’m going into the office a little later, is all.”

Drew had found an earlier flight even though it wasn’t as convenient a route. The sooner he got back, the better. He could get his life back to normal.

They loaded his bags and then headed toward Cal

gary. A light mist was falling, giving the day a grey, dismal feeling. Drew seemed to remember high school English and something about rain and sad bits of stories being pathetic fallacy. Whatever. She’d called him a coward and maybe she was right. But mostly he figured she represented everything he didn’t want for himself. This was for the best.

Except he couldn’t stop thinking of the words she’d said. I love you had come out of her lips and had rattled him right to his shoes. Because being with her was the closest he’d ever come to uttering those same words.

I love you didn’t mean enjoying each other for two weeks. It meant a much bigger investment and much bigger stakes. And for all his success, Drew knew one thing. He took only calculated risks. This one had volatility written all over it.