Secret Millionaire for the Surrogate

She looked through the peephole and her breath seemed to strangle in her throat. Drew, looking handsome as ever, stood in the glow of her porch light in a down jacket, his breath making frosty clouds in the air.

Drew. Out of thin air.

Hands shaking, she unlocked the door and opened it. “Hi,” she said, standing back.

“Hi. Can I come in?”

“Too cold to stay out there.”

He stepped inside, his gaze sweeping her from head to toe and back up again. “Dan was right,” he said, his voice low. “You look awful.”

The words were a gut punch but also fired some indignation. “Gee, thanks. Is that all you came to say? I mean, it’s a Friday night, I’m off work and I’m allowed to lie around in sweats and a hoodie if I want to.”

“Sorry,” he answered, and unzipped his coat. Apparently he was planning to stay. She could ask him to leave, but while he’d opened with a negative comment, she was still so glad to see him that she couldn’t bear to send him away so soon.

She figured she shouldn’t. The truth was she still loved him.

Then it occurred to her what he’d said. “Dan called you?”

He nodded. “Not a call, per se. I’m in town to oversee the opening next week. He might have said something last night after dinner.”

All of her feelings bubbled up into her chest and throat, but she didn’t say them. Instead she said, “I’m fine. I’m back at work and taking some downtime when I’m not shooting or at the studio. That’s it.” She did have some pride, after all. Before he’d gone back to California, she’d opened her heart to him. He’d rejected it. It wasn’t likely she’d do the same thing again in a hurry.

Even if it was true.

“Dan seemed to think you were feeling down.” He hung his jacket over a kitchen chair, looked at her for a minute and then sighed. “Harper, I remember how you were starting to have feelings about the pregnancy. Feeling attached to the baby. You went through all that and it’s not surprising that you might be lonely now that it’s over. Or...sad.” He’d done a bit of googling again. “Like...maybe postpartum depression or something.”

Postpartum depression? She gawped at him for a full ten seconds, unable to respond. She had no doubt such a thing was possible; she’d done a fair bit of research herself. But that wasn’t what was going on with her. Her dissatisfaction came from wanting more. Because he’d shown her that life could be an adventure and she wanted more of it.

“I’m not depressed,” she said firmly. “But you’re right. Something changed. And I’m not quite sure what to do about it yet.”

“I don’t understand.”

He looked genuinely perplexed. She went to the cupboard and took out a glass, filled it with water and handed it to him. “Here. Have a drink and sit down.”

He did, and she sat in the chair closest to him, with just the corner of the table between them. He took a drink and put down the glass. “What changed? Does it have to do with Isabelle?”

“No, not really.” She thought about the little girl and couldn’t help the smile that spread across her lips. “She’s adorable. And when I see Dan and Adele...it was the right thing, Drew. They’re so happy. I’ll always have a special bond with Belle. How could I not? But I have no regrets.”

He nodded, his eyes sober. “I’m glad. I was worried about that...”

The irritation flared again. “Why would you worry? You left. I haven’t heard from you since the summer, even though I know you’ve been in town. I don’t need you to check up on me, Drew. I’m doing just fine.”

His jaw hardened. “If that’s so, why are Dan and Adele worried about you?”

She tried to sound strong. And she was, really. But this was hard. There were times over the past five months that memories of Drew had kept her going. The times they’d shared had been magical.

He leaned forward. “It’s okay to not be strong all the time. I know how much you want a family of your own, and how having the baby must have—”

She pushed away from the table, cutting him off. “You really think this has to do with the baby? I’m proud of what I did. I’m so incredibly happy for Adele and Dan, and yeah, it had its moments but I’d do it all over again. If I’m unhappy, Drew, it’s not because of sweet Isabelle. It’s because I have a home and a family here, and my own business, and it’s no longer enough. And you did that. You took me on adventures and made me want more out of my life. That’s my problem. I’m not happy with the life I thought I always wanted.”

She met his gaze. “Last summer, I told you I loved you and you ran. That’s on you, Drew. And yeah, maybe I wanted to finally have some stability. But you know what? I wasn’t running scared.” She lifted her chin. “And I’m still not.”

He looked so shocked that she softened her voice. “But you still are. I’m not a fragile flower, Drew. But I have changed. And I’m trying to sort out what I’m going to do about it.”

“I...” His gaze slid away from her, and then back again. “I didn’t know, Harper.”

She exhaled through her nose, tried to calm her beating heart. “I know. And yes, you were there for me last summer. Getting over you hasn’t been easy, okay?” Seeing him again was going to set her back a few steps, too. “You should probably go.”