“I don’t trust my own judgment,” she said, her voice as even as she could make it. “I don’t know who or what to believe. And if that’s the case, I think... I think I need some time and distance away to think things through.”
“You’re giving up on us.”
“I’m choosing what I know is real. I need to go home. And I need to sort through my life. This was all such a mistake.”
And yet her heart cracked as she said it. The pain nearly stole her breath. Her heart was screaming for her to trust him and remember all the ways he’d been there for her. Her head was challenging her to think about his motives.
“Please, don’t do anything rash. We can talk about this tomorrow. Think about what you’re saying, and don’t let fear or my family’s meanness drive you away. Please, Gabi. This is too important to throw away.”
“I think I need to sleep alone tonight, Will. I have a lot to sort through.”
He hesitated, and she hoped he wouldn’t insist. The idea of lying beside him in the bed, trying to hold her emotions in check, was overwhelming. She needed to cry, and then to really sort things out.
“I’ll go to another room,” he acquiesced, though he sounded upset about it. “If that’s what you need.”
“I do.”
“And we’ll sort this out in the morning.”
She nodded.
He paused, and she wondered if he was going to try and kiss her or hug her before leaving the room. In the end he sent her a complicated look of love and fear and left, shutting the door quietly behind him.
She went back to the bed and sat on the edge, expecting to cry. Instead her eyes remained dry as she sat for long minutes. For the first time ever, her emotions were too big for tears.
She needed to go home.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
WILL WOKE AND went to the room where Gabi slept. He knocked on the door, but there was no answer. And he knew what he would find before he finished opening the door.
She was gone.
A helplessness overwhelmed him as he stared at the room. The bed was perfectly made, as if no one had been there at all. And on the night table was a folded note. God, just like last time. For a second he felt played and understood how Stephen must have felt that day at the chapel. Except Stephen hadn’t loved her. Will did.
He picked it up carefully, as if it might bite, and unfolded the thick cream paper. Dear Will, it began, and there were several lines beneath the salutation.
At least it was better than Stephen’s brief Please forgive me.
Dear Will,
I know you’re going to be furious that I’ve run again, but I have to go home. I have to sort out what is real and what isn’t in my head. I do not know who to trust. Maybe I’ve been manipulated too many times, or maybe I’m a horrible judge of people. I just don’t trust myself to make the right decision.
I’m afraid, Will. Afraid that I’ll do the wrong thing and in doing so ruin everything.
I want to believe everything between us was real, but I can’t. That doubt is there, and I can’t shake it. And that is no way to have a relationship. I’m sorry.
Gabi
He folded the page into quarters and tucked it into his pocket. She hadn’t doubted him until last night when she’d excused herself, so what had happened in that fifteen minutes? He tried to think of who might have spoken to her, but they were all mingling and enjoying cake and champagne at the time. He’d been talking to Christophe, and couldn’t account for everyone else at the time.
But someone had, and he was going to find out who.
Within three minutes he’d banged on everyone’s door and announced a family meeting immediately in the library. This was going to end now. No more secrets. No more maneuvering. And no more putting up with sneaky behavior in the name of loyalty. It had to work both ways, and he was owed some, too.
It took half an hour for everyone to congregate. Bella was cool as ever, in jeans and a sweater, her hair up in a topknot. Christophe’s hair, on the other hand, was smushed on one side and he had a good bit of stubble on his chin. Lizzy was still in bed, he said, and out of the family drama. Charlotte looked supremely annoyed and attended in her silk pajamas and robe, and Aurora, as ever, was fully dressed, hair perfect, and her “day” makeup on.
“No coffee?” Charlotte complained, and Will silenced her with a look.