The Heiress's Pregnancy Surprise (Heirs to an Empire 2)

But Charlotte

had his hands in hers and he let out a breath. “It was a while ago, just before I left the military. Our team was on an assignment in South America... I can’t say where. But we were there for a while. Long enough that we’d established some informants from within the locals.”

“There was a lot of danger?”

“There’s always the potential of it, yeah. I was there to do a job. But then I met Jacinta.”

He couldn’t even say her name without feeling waves of love, regret, self-loathing.

“What happened to her?”

He had been staring straight ahead, but forced himself to meet her gaze. Even in the dim light, he saw compassion and acceptance and wondered how on earth he’d ended up sharing a week with an angel. That’s what she was, really. Take away the money and the fancy clothes, and the powerful friends... She was still a sweet, loving, strong person. Certainly not the princess he’d thought he’d be babysitting.

“It’s okay if you can’t,” she whispered, squeezing his fingers. “You’re under no obligation to tell me. I don’t want to hurt you, Jacob.”

Was she even real?

“I let myself get distracted,” he said. “I forgot to do my job. And it got her killed.”

The familiar emptiness opened up inside him, and to his shame tears stung the backs of his eyes. He’d held Jacinta’s limp body in his arms, nearly lost his mind at the sight of her wounds and lifeless eyes.

“She loved you, too?”

He nodded. Jacinta had loved him, he was in no doubt of that. “I was so stupid. Promised her I’d take her back with us. Everything I knew better than to do.” He rested his head against the headboard. “I put our whole team at risk, too. That’s when I knew I’d had enough. It was time for me to retire. I had her death on my hands. I didn’t want to have anyone else’s.”

She was quiet for a long time, and his confession settled around them. “But then you went into private security.”

He nodded. “It’s my skill set. I’m good at it. Some of the guys... They like the longer assignments. But I can do anything from a few hours to a few weeks. And to be honest, right or not, most of my clientele are middle-aged to old men.”

She snorted. “Long live the patriarchy.”

He chuckled then. “I love your sass, you know that?”

“I’m glad.”

He reached out and pulled her close. “Charlie, I’ve never told anyone all that. How I cared for her and how I lost my edge. I’m trusting you to keep my confidence.”

“Of course I will.” Her fingers threaded with his now. “Jacob, at some point you’re going to have to forgive yourself. You can’t punish yourself for the rest of your life.”

“Can’t I?” He certainly deserved no better.

“You absolutely can, you’re right. But it’s no way to live. You deserve some happiness.”

The bitter taste was back. “I’m pretty sure I don’t. After all, Jacinta will never be happy. Her family will always miss her. What right do I have to be happy?”

“But you can’t go on that way!” She rose to her knees and moved closer, then surprised him by grabbing his face with both hands. “If she loved you she would want you to go on and be happy. Not live in a constant state of guilt.” She kissed his forehead, and his heart lurched. “You can’t set an impossible expectation for yourself and then hate yourself for not reaching it. No one can attain perfection. Everyone in the world has some regret. And yeah, maybe yours is a big one. But God, Jacob. You’re redeemable. Why can’t you see that?”

He didn’t know what to say. No one in his life had ever taken his side like this before, ever championed him unconditionally even knowing what he’d done. He was speechless for a few minutes, while she kissed his forehead again and ran her fingers through his hair.

It felt so good, her touch. It had been a long time since he’d had this kind of connection with anyone, and it scared the hell out of him even as it felt amazing. It felt like...hope. But he didn’t want hope, did he? Especially when it was such a seductive feeling. Hope existed for only a short time and then it was quashed. He wasn’t sure he’d make it through another death of hope again.

And yet... Charlotte. Charlie. He should send her to her room right now and make sure this never happened again. Instead his starved soul reached out to her and clung, wanting just a few more minutes of false salvation.

Her lips went to his mouth again and he tasted her, hungry for more of her pureness, her undaunted optimism. She kissed him back, fully, completely, her warm, soft body curling against his. They shouldn’t make love again, not without protection. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t pleasure her, make sure she felt desired and cherished and, hell, satisfied.

When she called out his name in the dark, he knew he was in trouble. He’d care about it later.

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