She cleared her throat a little. “About one-nighters.”
He didn’t seem too upset about it. “Hey, it was probably good you stopped. I don’t have any protection with me anyway.”
“Oh? I figured a guy like you would always be prepared.”
He sat up, frowned a little. “A guy like me? What’s that supposed to mean?”
Now she was exposed and she hurried to cover herself. But she considered her words before speaking them. “I just meant that you uh, usually have a girlfriend.”
For the first time that evening she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. She’d seen him teasing, seen him so serious and focused on her, but this look was impenetrable. Had she offended him? Or more unbelievably—hurt his feelings?
“I see.”
She had offended him. She had enough of her wits back about her to realize that. “That didn’t come out right. Todd, that’s not how I meant it. You just date a lot, that’s all.”
He frowned. “Just because I date doesn’t mean we … ah, hell.” He ran a hand over his face. “Wait, is that how everyone sees me? As some sort of player? Or is it just you?”
She shook her head quickly. “No, I’m sure they don’t. I don’t. I mean, everyone likes you, okay? No one thinks you’re playing anybody.” She huffed out a frustrated sigh. “Me and my big mouth. Look. I haven’t dated at all since last Christmas, so out of the two of us, you were the most likely candidate to, you know, be prepared.”
He stared at her for a moment, and then his expression softened a little. “Sorry,” he said quietly, and reached for her sweater. “I guess you hit a nerve.”
He handed it to her and then grabbed his hoodie. While he was turning it right-side out and putting it on, she reconnected the clasp of her bra in record time, and pulled her sweater over her head. “Let’s just forget about it,” she suggested.
“We kind of got carried away, didn’t we?” Todd asked. Now that they were dressed, a little of the awkwardness had passed, but not all.
“A little.” She tried to smile at him. “I … well. Let’s just say today has been full of surprises.”
He chuckled, the warm smile she liked returning to his lips. “It has been that. And this was a good way to end it, I think.”
And speaking of ending it …
“Todd…” Never in a million years had she thought she’d say these words, but they were coming out of her mouth now. “I’m not really in a relationship kind of place right now. So tonight should probably be it for us. I don’t know what you had in mind, and maybe you weren’t thinking of asking me out at all, which means I feel really stupid right now for making that assumption. I just want to be honest, and clear.”
“As long as you don’t say It’s not you, it’s me, we’re okay,” he replied. “And as long as you don’t have regrets. Because that was pretty amazing.”
It was. She hadn’t had that many partners but she could honestly say that having an orgasm with her pants on had never happened to her before.
“Maybe we should call it a night,” she suggested. “Get some rest. Tomorrow’s going to be another crazy day.”
She got up from the sofa. There was a certain amount of dissatisfaction in the movement, because what she really wanted was to curl up in his arms, be warm and cozy, and fall asleep. For that reason alone, she needed to put some distance between them.
“Maybe you’re right.” He smiled up at her. “Should I apologize?”
She thought about it. “For what? Todd, you were there. Clearly I was having a good time.”
“If I’d known it would be like that, well, I would have made sure we dated earlier.” His smile was so big now, a dimple popped in his cheek. It should have looked ridiculous and instead it was stupidly alluring.
She kind of wished he had, too, but what good did that do them now? Maybe in another time, another place, but Lainey wasn’t in that place now.
“I’ll see you in the morning, okay? Maybe put a few extra logs on the fire before you turn in. It’ll help with the heat. Sometimes the baseboards don’t throw as much warmth as I’d like.”
“You got it,” he replied.
She had no idea how to make a graceful exit, so she gave a weak smile and disappeared into the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. When she came out he was putting wood on the fire and she slipped into her bedroom and shut the door.
Once she was in bed she listened to the sounds punctuating the silence. There were the bumps and thumps of Todd getting ready for bed, the click of the light switch flicking off, the muffled sound of him settling on the sofa with his blanket. The wind gusted around the windows, creating a whoosh and rattle that was far from comforting, and the stinging snow pelted against the window as the storm raged on.
And she was in here, and he was out there, and she was wishing she didn’t care so much about guarding herself that she couldn’t take advantage of a gorgeous, sexy, willing man when she had the chance.