He’d had feelings for her. He’d made no secret of that. So why the disappearing act? Because if he’d wanted to get in touch this morning, he could have sent her a text. Or phoned. Instead there was just … silence. The silence said everything.
She closed the lid on the washing machine and escaped to the living room where she sat on the sofa, put her elbows on her knees, and rested her head in her hands. Nothing had hurt her the way Jason’s betrayal had. She’d loved him. She’d believed in him. She’d believed in them. He’d destroyed all of that, but more than that he’d ruined her confidence and he’d made her afraid. Only a fool would put herself in a position to be hurt like that again. Fool me once, she thought ruefully.
Except the alternative was that she would be alone forever. She just couldn’t quite see herself as a crazy cat lady living alone for the rest of her life. She wanted to find that special someone. She wanted children. For the first time in several months she stopped feeling bad about it and felt mad.
Angry at Jason for doing this to her. And angry at herself for letting him. She was a hot mess of anger and sadness and yearning. Through her tears she gave a short laugh. What sort of man would be crazy enough to take that on? Maybe Todd had been the smart one after all.
The phone rang. Lainey jumped, then looked at the display. It was her mom, and Lainey knew that if she didn’t answer Mom would come over to see what was going on. She worried about Lainey, particularly now since Lainey hadn’t made a secret of her anti-holiday sentiments. There’d already been several calls about Christmas plans and her mom’s not-so-subtle attempts to get Lainey involved in local festivities.
Lainey gave a mighty sniff, cleared her throat, and pressed the TALK button.
“Hello?”
“Good morning, sweetheart.”
“Hi, Mom.”
“Just checking to see if you’re coming for dinner before church tonight.”
Oh God, that’s right. Christmas Eve was always her mom’s oyster stew and fresh rolls and Yule log for dessert. Just the thought of it right now was enough to turn Lainey’s stomach. “Sorry, Mom, I’ve got some stuff to do at the inn today while it’s empty of guests.” It was the best excuse she could come up with on a moment’s notice. “But I’ll meet you at the church tonight.” There was no way she’d get out of the Christmas Eve service
. It was tradition, even more than the oyster stew.
“Are you okay? You sound congested.” There was worry in her mom’s tone. “With the storm and everything, maybe you’ve been working too hard. I know you were swamped.”
She prepared to lie for the second time in five minutes. “Just a bit of a cold, I guess. Nothing major.” Just going through an emotional hurricane, she thought, closing her eyes and shaking her head a little. She sighed inwardly. Were men really worth all this trouble?
Then she thought of how Todd had looked at her last night, and it stole her breath, even now. She wished she could say they weren’t worth it …
“Lainey? Are you still there?”
“Yes, of course. What did you say?”
“I said you should take something and go have a nap instead. Do you want me to bring over some soup or tea or something?”
The last thing she wanted was her mom here. She’d comment on the dearth of decorations—a move that Lainey was already regretting—and then she’d start her well-meaning prying into what was going on. Lainey really didn’t want to spill her guts today, and her mother was terrifyingly good at getting to the bottom of trouble. It was a mom thing, Lainey supposed.
“No, I’m fine, really. I’ve got stuff here anyway. I’ll make some mint tea and take a nap, okay?”
“If you’re sure…”
“I’m sure. And I promise I’ll see you tonight.” One good thing was that she knew Todd was on shift tonight. He’d told her he worked so other guys could spend the time with their families. She could go to church and not worry about running into him at all. Then she’d come home and wallow all she wanted.
Hell, she’d faked being okay often enough over the past year that getting through tonight was no big deal. A little makeup, a deep breath, a pasted-on smile and she’d be good to go. He’d never know how deeply he’d hurt her by his little disappearing act.
“All right, honey. I’ll see you later, then. And I’ll save you some stew.”
Her stomach rolled thinking about it, a by-product of her emotional distress and the fact she’d had coffee and nothing else this morning. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll see you later.”
She hung up the phone and sat back against the cushions. This was what she had to look forward to, then. A quiet, terribly empty day ahead of her, followed by an hour and a half of community togetherness and holiday spirit and ending with going to bed alone again.
Merry flipping Christmas.
* * *
In Todd’s experience, working on Christmas Eve generally went one of two ways.
Either he got a lot of calls, or things were quiet. But tonight had been a mixture of both. He attended a small car accident where someone was rear-ended at a stop sign, and responded to a report of a suspicious person which turned out to be nothing more than someone waiting for a drive who was late. Calls through dispatch were few. He’d learned that the night before Christmas found most people in a peaceful, happy frame of mind. Of course there was a smaller percentage that was unhappy, stressed, and angry, and sometimes that didn’t turn out so well for those families. He always dreaded responding to a domestic disturbance, but even more so at the holidays. As much as he’d like to think that sort of thing didn’t happen in and around Jewell Cove, of course it did. This morning’s call being a prime example. He would have avoided it altogether if Jamie Wright hadn’t called in with the flu.