His brows pulled down in a dark frown. “Why on earth do you keep apologizing?”
“I just … I led you on, made you think that…”
He cursed and the frown deepened. “Abby, it’s fine. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready,” he said, putting his hands on his hips.
She swallowed, looked up. “I’ll just shut up now.” She didn’t know what else to say. Sex wasn’t something Abby took lightly. Her one and only attempt at a casual relationship in the past had left her feeling unsatisfied and empty. She’d awakened in the morning all alone, like she wasn’t worth staying for. Abby never wanted to feel that way with Tom. The fact that he seemed that important frightened the hell out of her.
He came closer and sat on the bed. Wordlessly he handed her her discarded sleep shirt from the top of her hamper and she pulled it on, feeling only slightly less exposed beneath the flimsy cotton.
He reached out and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Gently he touched her cheek. “You are amazing and I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t disappointed. I want to make love to you, Abby.”
The delicious heat spread through her limbs again at his words.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes,” he continued. “I’m not a good man in a lot of ways. But I hope I treat women with respect. I would never force you to do anything you didn’t want. It’s okay if you’re not there yet.”
Women. Whether before Erin or after, he’d been with women. Plural. Of course he had. Chances were he didn’t place the same monumental importance on sex that she did. He wanted to make love to her but had he thought past that part? Of course not. And neither had she. Nothing had changed. She was still only temporarily in Jewell Cove and they both knew it.
But Tom could do this and walk away more easily than she could. She’d be that girl he met one summer. A pleasant memory. It wasn’t like that for her. Sex would always mean something beyond the physical. It had to be about love, not lust. Maybe that made her old-fashioned, but there it was. There was something between her and Tom. It was lust, not love—how could it be? He might be able to walk away in one piece. She wasn’t so confident that she could.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured. More sorry than he imagined.
“Don’t be. I would never want you to feel pressured into something you’re not ready for.”
He was killing her with his consideration. “Thanks, Tom.”
“Don’t thank me too much. I could still really use a cold shower.”
Their gazes met and the sheepish smile on his face didn’t quite reach his eyes. They were still edgy and black and exciting.
He got up and grabbed his boots. “Since I’m not going to use your shower, it’s probably a good idea if I get started on the day’s work, if that’s all right with you.”
Feeling awkward, Abby nodded. “Yes, fine. I thought I’d do a little more exploring today, anyway.” That was, after all, the reason she’d come back. She wanted to find out what happened to Edith. Who Kristian was. And most of all, what had happened to drive Marian and Iris apart for the rest of their lives. The answers were in this house somewhere, and she kept letting Tom and his family distract her from that purpose.
“Let me know if you discover any deep, dark secrets,” he teased. “I’ll be in the kitchen. I want it to be completely ready for when the cupboards are delivered.”
When she heard him reach the bottom floor she got up and pulled on her shorts and chose a different shirt from her closet, not wanting to go back downstairs as she was. Her hair had come loose from the band, so she went to the bathroom to fix it. When she caught sight of herself in the mirror she was horrified. Her hair stuck out in frizzy bits and her cheeks were terribly red from the burn. Whatever had prompted Tom’s response this morning, it sure hadn’t been her looks. She was a mess.
Maybe he hadn’t really been seeing her. Maybe he’d been thinking about Erin after all.
Or maybe not. Maybe he hadn’t cared what she looked like. Maybe he was genuinely, sincerely attracted to her.
She touched her fingertips to her sunburned cheek, remembering the gentle way his fingers had caressed her skin. She’d been the one to put on the brakes. Maybe, just maybe, Tom was having as hard a time getting her off his mind as she was with him.
As the sound of his hammer rang through the house, she frowned. The last thing she needed was to get emotionally attached to anything here in Jewell Cove—including Tom Arseneault. Be
cause when push came to shove, in the end she was putting the house up for sale. And she was going to leave and go back to her very safe life and her very safe job. The idea of doing anything else was simply too scary.
CHAPTER 16
I would have made love to her.
The knowledge permeated Tom’s thoughts over and over again. Each time it struck him like a punch to the solar plexus, stealing his breath. If Abby hadn’t put on the brakes he would have kept going, would have felt her soft, hot skin beneath him on the pure white duvet, would have heard her soft moans as he moved inside her.
He’d wanted her that much.
That was a surprise.
An even bigger surprise was realizing that even with the separation of two floors between them, he still did.