The House on Blackberry Hill (Jewell Cove 1)

“I’m not sure my being there would be the best thing,” he suggested.

“Well, here’s a newsflash, Tom. This isn’t about you. This is about your cousin. And if Jess didn’t think you should be there, she wouldn’t have called you.” She tugged at his hand. “They are your family. Do you know how lucky you are to have them? Don’t you think I’d give anything to have mine again?”

She was right. But, big man that he was, Tom was scared. Of reaching out and of having his hand slapped back again.

“Jess and Sarah are right about one thing. This thing with Josh has gone on too long. Put it aside for this one day and just be there for her.”

How could he argue with that? She was absolutely right. There was just one problem.

What were the chances Josh would be on the same page?

* * *

Josh paced the hallway, away from Jess and away from the knowing eyes of his mother. Meggie saw too much when she looked at him and being here wasn’t easy. Right now he wished he was just about anywhere else.

But Sarah needed the family around her. He’d heard a lot of talk about God’s will lately. Well, if this was God’s will, it sucked.

And now they were all left outside in the hall, waiting for Mark to come out of Sarah’s room, waiting to go hold her hand or kiss her cheek and fumble about with trying to find the right words to say when there weren’t any right words at all. Nothing could make this better.

He stopped and looked out the window, staring unseeing into the sunny afternoon. The thunderstorms in Jewell Cove had blown through here earlier, leaving everything scoured and clean, like nature’s pressure washer. Pristine an

d beautiful while inside his guts were churning.

He’d wanted babies. Erin’s babies. He’d secretly hoped that she’d retire from the military with him, that she’d get pregnant with their child and opt not to do another tour. They’d talked about it, even. About starting a family and leaving the military life behind them for good.

But she had shipped out one last time. One final chance to do her part, she’d said, before coming back to Hartford. But he’d known all along. It wasn’t about duty or patriotism that last time. It had been to put distance between them and the marriage that never quite seemed to work.

After she was gone he’d discovered the receipts for her birth control. She’d been on them for months. The whole time they’d talked about having a baby and lamenting each month when she got her period, she’d been secretly taking them to prevent it.

He knew why she’d done it. It wasn’t that she didn’t want babies. She didn’t want his babies. And that hurt most of all.

Jess went by him, focused on something down the corridor, and he turned his head to follow her movement. “You came,” he heard her say, and he saw Tom walking toward them.

Josh’s fingers tightened into fists.

That woman was with him. Abby Foster, the one who’d inherited the mansion and had so coolly made him feel like an idiot at Sarah’s barbecue. She was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt that fit so loosely on her tiny frame that he knew they were Tom’s.

Maybe he should be grateful that Tom had managed to do what Josh, so far, had not. He’d moved on. Instead he just felt angry and jealous.

“How is she, Jess?” Abby’s voice reached him, and he had to give her credit. She seemed genuinely concerned.

“About how you’d expect.”

“The whole family’s here,” Tom said, and his gaze slid to Josh.

There was no animosity in the way his cousin looked at him. He simply waited … for what? For Josh to say he was sorry? For them to bury the hatchet? Josh knew he hadn’t always played fair. At the barbecue Tom had said that Josh won, but he was wrong. Josh had always known exactly where he stood in Erin’s heart. And he’d let that fact eat away at him a little each day.

And for what? Erin was gone.

He and Tom had been like brothers growing up. To say that he’d missed that closeness would be an understatement. Seeing Tom on the docks had hurt. It brought back memories of how things used to be along with a knowledge that they could never be the same again.

Since Erin’s death, holding on to his resentment had been all that had kept him going sometimes. He couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t live with the poison of it eating up his soul.

He stepped forward, his heart knocking around a little bit as he wasn’t used to either backing down or apologizing. But maybe Jess was right. Maybe it was time to put pride aside. For the sake of the family.

“Tom,” he said, holding out his hand.

Josh was dimly aware of Jess’s mouth dropping open and Abby’s eyes widening, but he made sure he kept his gaze solidly on Tom. A muscle ticked in Tom’s jaw and then he reached out and clasped Josh’s hand, a firm grip that transported Josh far into the past, to a time when they had sworn to always be brothers, not cousins. To stand up for each other, not against. Josh had so many regrets. God, he’d made a lot of mistakes. He didn’t quite know how to go about fixing any of them. But as Tom’s fingers tightened around his, he felt, for the first time in years, like he wanted to try.