The House on Blackberry Hill (Jewell Cove 1) - Page 87

“It’s a big commitment. It’s a small town. It can get claustrophobic. There’s no theater, no hospital, no—”

“It’s not like it’s far to find all those things. Jewell Cove has lots of other charms.” She smiled. “It’s not just the house. It’s the town. It’s the people here. I want to belong somewhere, Tom. I haven’t in such a long time. This feels like home for the first time since I was a very little girl.”

He was so quiet it made her nervous. “What are you thinking?” she asked, toying with her glass.

He shrugged. “I’m just surprised, I guess.”

She chuckled. “Tom Arseneault, you are doing it again. You aren’t saying what you really mean. I wish you’d stop that.”

“I once said exactly what was on my mind and it didn’t go so well. I’m not good at this whole honesty thing. It makes me feel vulnerable. Naked.”

“I know that,” she replied. “When you first wanted the job of fixing this place. The barbecue at Sarah’s. I get it, Tom. But this isn’t the Rusty Fern and you can’t be like that forever. At some point you have to trust that someone isn’t going to turn the truth against you. Can’t you trust me by now?”

“You don’t need me,” he said. His voice sounded oddly tight. “You’ve already made up your mind. You have your house and this new start in your life. What can I offer you that you don’t already have?”

She put her hand along his jaw. “Tom,” she murmured softly, “if you don’t know that by now…”

“Maybe I need to hear you say it,” he answered.

Abby had started to lose hope, but now Josh’s words came back to her. He’s waiting for you to choose him. She wasn’t sure if Tom really thought he had nothing to offer her or if he thought she wouldn’t want what he was offering. He was wrong on both counts.

She sat up and took his hands in hers. “I have this amazing house,” she said softly. “I have a bank account with more money than I ever imagined I’d have. I have a new car. I can choose any life I want.”

“I know that.”

“What if what I want is you?”

Abby looked at his rugged, handsome face and thought back to all the times she got a little too close to someone. Her usual game plan was to pack up and move on. But not anymore. Not when she thought about what she’d be giving up.

“Abby…”

There was emotion in the word. And if nothing else, if this never worked out, she would leave here knowing she’d bared her soul and been honest with him right down to the very last thing. She squeezed his fingers. “Erin loved you but she never offered to share your life. She was crazy, Tom. And maybe I shouldn’t bring up her name right now but if I don’t she’ll always be between us and I don’t want that. I want to share your life. I want you to share mine.”

“I’m a carpenter with a two-bedroom cottage,” he pointed out.

“And I couldn’t care less if you had two nickels in your pocket. Am I going to have to spell it out for you?” Her throat tightened as she gazed into his eyes. “Here it is, then. I love you. The only thing I want from you is your heart. That’s enough for me.”

Tears filled her eyes and she tried to blink them away. “You believed me when what was happening here was crazy. You made me laugh and made me angry and kissed me, making me forget all the reasons why I’ve been afraid to let someone get close. You saved me, not once, but twice. You showed me your compassion, your honor, your loyalty. I’d be crazy to want more from you.”

For a long second she thought he was going to reach for her. He held back but she could tell—at least she hoped—that it was costing him. Tom shook his head like he couldn’t quite believe her. “You think I did all those things, but you’re the one who fixed me, Abby. I knew it the moment that barn came down and I thought I’d really lost you.”

She frowned a little. “If that’s true, why did you back off? After the hospital, you barely said two words to me.”

“You thought that I didn’t care?” He put his hands on her arms and squeezed. “It wasn’t that at all. God, woman. Every day when I saw that FOR SALE sign, I knew that nothing had changed for you. I hate that damned sign.” He glowered down the mountain at the sign that was all but invisible from this vantage.

The little thread of doubt she despised reared its ugly head. She might as well come right out and ask the one burning question she’d wanted to ask since Sarah’s barbecue. “Do you still love her?”

Tom’s dark gaze delved into hers once more. “I’ve had some time to do some thinking. And the truth is, Abby, I was holding on to her memory for the wrong reasons. I thought I loved her. I did love her—once. But the last few months … they’ve been far more about guilt than grief. I realized that the day Josh and I talked.”

Relief slid through her. She hadn’t been sure she could ever measure up to Erin’s memory. If Tom had really, truly put Erin’s ghost to rest …

“Please tell me I’m not hanging out here alone,” she whispered. “That this isn’t all one-sided.”

He pressed his forehead to hers, his broad, strong hand resting against the tiny knot of a bun at the back of her head.

“You’re not alone,” he murmured, and he pressed his lips to hers.

The kiss was slow, deep, and beautifully long. Abby melted against him. There was no hesitation this time. This was the man she loved. The first man she’d loved and she wanted him to be the last.

Tags: Donna Alward Jewell Cove Romance
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