The Crown Prince's Bride (Royal Duology 2)

“I’ve had four job offers in the last month. A few might have expired, but I have options, Raoul. I’ve worked a very high profile job and my qualifications are excellent.”

He sat back down in his chair.

“Go to Africa,” he said weakly. “Take some time.”

She stared at him for another moment, then gave a quick nod. “I’ll bring Sofia up to speed until I go. It’ll take a bit for arrangements to be made.”

She left and closed the door with a firm click.

Raoul put his head in his hands. How had he screwed this up so badly? He knew how. He’d been a coward, told himself he didn’t want to hurt her so he avoided talking about things altogether. He’d been utterly unfair, and the longer he’d remained silent, the harder it had been to imagine having that conversation. So he’d ignored it, pretending their problems would just go away.

She was right to be angry. And he was ashamed. He’d definitely counted on the fact that she would always be there.

And yes, his father’s sudden illness had been a jolt, making him realize how much the family and the people of Marazur relied on him. But that didn’t excuse his behavior.

He went after her, unsure of what he would say but knowing he had to say something to try to set things right. Or if not right, at least honest.

She’d wasted no time leaving. By the time Marco had brought the car around, Raoul figured she was already home at her flat. To his credit, Marco said nothing on the trip into the city. And when they arrived, he simply advised Raoul that he would wait in the car.

Raoul climbed the stairs to her floor and knocked on her door.

She answered it, but he couldn’t read the expression on her face. She’d shut him out. He deserved it.

“May I come in?”

“Of course.”

She stood aside, and he stepped into her apartment. He was immediately assaulted with memories of his other visit here. The dinner, the balcony, the sofa. Their relationship had really started here.

“I have no excuse for how I behaved, Steph. I’m sorry. I can make excuses, tell you what was going through my mind at the time, but the truth is I was wrong. I protected my own feelings at the expense of yours, and that was completely selfish and cowardly.”

Her face softened a bit. “I don’t hate you. How could I? But I have to do what’s right for me. And I can’t figure that out if I stay here. I need some time, Raoul. Truth is, I was thinking of leaving long before we went to France.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. He’d had no inkling that she was unhappy.

“Sit down,” she suggested. “I’ll bring you some water.”

When she returned from the kitchen, he’d found his voice again. “I can’t change your mind?”

She shook her head. “You might have, once. If you’d told me what you were feeling, even if you’d asked me to be patient while you thought things through. I could have worked with that. But you shut me out, and you put my feelings and our relationship at the bottom of the list. I understood those first days that your father was in the hospital. But after that . . . it was avoidance, pure and simple. And that’s not good enough for me.”

“I was going to talk to you when the call came about my father. You do realize that, right?”

She pulled up a chair and sat across from him. “I know that’s where it was leading. I love you, Raoul. It’s because I love you that I have to do this. I gave you opportunities. And the only time you came forward with your feelings was because you had to. Because I said I wanted to leave.”

He put the water on the table beside him. “Then I think you should go. Maybe we both need to think about what we want. How we feel.”

“I know how I feel. I don’t think you can say the same. And until you can, I need to start living for me.”

He nodded, feeling oddly like crying himself. She was a special woman and he was throwing his chance away. Dios mío, she’d said that she loved him, and it humbled him and scared him all at once. But she was right. He hadn’t treated her as she deserved. And that had happened because he wasn’t ready to fall in love and he’d been too afraid to admit it. His father’s illness had only been an excuse. She would have stood beside him if he’d allowed it, and they both knew it. Because Steph was the kind of woman who would be there, no matter the consequences.

He thought back to how she’d made sure he ate and how she’d tried to hold his hand on the plane and in the car. How she’d taken over the resort report on their return, and even made adjustments within the household for Alexander’s return home.

She did deserve better, and he hadn’t given it to her because he was too afraid.

He looked into her eyes and said the words he should have said that morning in his suite. “I’m not ready, Steph. I care about you and the time we spent together was so amazing. But I’m not ready to love anyone. I thought about our relationship being in the press or even within the family and staff and I just froze.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “And as disappointed and hurt as I am, I do understand.” She reached up and touched his face. “Now let me go.”