She led the way down the hall to the library, which was just about as neutral a territory as could be found in the palace. When he was inside, she shut the door behind them.
He was at her side immediately. “What is it? Are you okay? You look scared to death.”
She nodded. “I am, a bit. But I’m okay, I promise.”
“I know you saw Dr. Sanchez today. If you’re sick . . .”
The fear on his face was real, and it made her feel better—and worse—that he truly did care.
She took his hand and led him to a plush settee. Once they were seated, she dropped his hand and clasped hers together on her knees.
“I did see Dr. Sanchez.” She lifted her gaze, her chest constricting as she forced out the words. “I’m not sick, Raoul. I’m pregnant.”
All the color drained out of his face.
“That was my reaction, too,” she said dryly. “Dr. Sanchez thought I was going to faint.”
“Pregnant? But we were careful.”
“Not careful enough, it seems. There’s been no one else, Raoul.”
The blood rushed back into his face. “Of course not. I mean, not that you couldn’t . . . Oh my God. I can’t speak. I can’t think right now.”
“Take your time,” she suggested softly. “I spent the afternoon sitting on the beach, working up the nerve to come here tonight.”
“A baby.” He let out a huge breath. “Did you have a feeling? Ask for the test?” He frowned. “Miss your period?”
She shook her head. “He did a test for my checkup. Routine, apparently. I can’t go to Tanzania now. My shots aren’t up-to-date and it’s too risky to go without and not safe for me to have a few of them while expecting.”
“I’m sorry,” he offered, surprising her.
“You are?”
“I know that you were looking forward to it. It wasn’t planned under the best circumstances, but it was going to be a new adventure for you.”
“Well, it looks like I have an adventure of a different sort coming in the future.”
They sat in silence for a bit, then Raoul nudged forward. “You know, Steph, I keep thinking about the things you said when we talked. About me avoiding making a decision about us. I was a coward, and I know it. It’s not like me to run away from my problems. I make decisions. It’s what I do.”
“I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”
“You deserve someone who’s going to be decisive. Someone who is going to follow through. Now we’re going to have a baby together, and it’s not the time to be ambivalent about anything. It’s a responsibility we’ll bear together.”
Unease rippled through her veins. “What are you saying, Raoul?”
“I’m saying I think we should get married.”
She nearly fell off the settee. What once would have filled her with joy now filled her with a mix of sadness and frustration. For years she’d daydreamed about Raoul popping the question, but there’d been no question here, just a statement, and only because she was carrying his baby.
It was wrong, all wrong.
“No,” she heard herself say.
“We can do it quietly; no one will think it terribly odd if my second marriage is a smaller, private affair.”
“No,” she repeated. “Raoul, did you hear me?”
“And if you’re only a few weeks along, the sooner the better. Even if there’s speculation, we can simply say we’d planned it for a while but didn’t want to overshadow Rose and Diego’s big day.”