Summer on Lovers' Island (Jewell Cove 3)

“Okay,” Lizzie said, shifting in her chair and crossing her legs lotus-style on the wide seat. “Here’s the deal. Ian came to see me the day before yesterday.”

“Ian?” Charlie sat up a little straighter. “You mean your ex-boss, ex-boyfriend, Ian?”

“The one and only,” Lizzie answered. “And he offered me my old position back.”

Charlie’s eyes were sharp. “As a doctor or as a girlfriend?”

“Both.”

Charlie rolled her eyes and Lizzie laughed. This was why she loved Charlie. She managed to put things into perfect perspective.

“And you said…”

Lizzie let out a long breath. “Well, definitely no to the girlfriend. I mean, he hasn’t called once since I left. I can’t put my finger on why, but I got the impression that he’d maybe been seeing someone and wasn’t anymore. You know, looking to hook up again.”

“Nice.”

“Right?” Lizzie laughed. “The job thing was a harder decision. I told him I needed time to think.”

“He wants you back now, doesn’t he?”

“At first I told him I definitely wouldn’t leave until after your baby is born. I promised to be here for that.”

Worry pulled at Charlie’s face. “At first. Does that mean you changed your mind?”

“Yeah, I did.”

Charlie looked away. “When do you leave?”

“I’m not.”

Charlie’s head snapped back quickly, her gaze meeting Lizzie with surprise. “What do you mean, you’re not?”

“I’m not going back to Springfield. There’ve been a few viewings of the house and it’ll sell. I won’t have any trouble selling my condo, either.”

Charlie’s face lit up. “You’re staying here?”

“I don’t know, Charlie. Even if I decided to leave emergency medicine behind, I can’t work with Josh. Things totally blew up there. He wouldn’t even let me explain. The things he said—”

Lizzie broke off, a lump in her throat. “I can’t believe I’m going to admit this. I cried a lot last night. Over him. I never cry over guys. Josh is … was … different. I should have followed my own rule. It only gets messy when you mix work with your personal life.”

“Oh, honey. Do you think you love him?”

The lump grew larger, more painful. “I don’t know. I might. I don’t ever remember feeling this way. I’m angry, but I’m sad and hurt and confused.…”

Charlie laughed. “That sounds about right. When Dave and I were trying to figure things out, I was a wreck. I didn’t know what I wanted.”

“Yes, exactly.” Lizzie nodded. “And I think I need to figure out what I want before I can put that on anyone else. Right now it’s mostly cluing in to what I don’t want.”

Charlie’s hand rubbed in circles on her belly and she shifted a little, getting comfortable. “You don’t want your old job back, then.”

“Not there. Part of the reason the stress got to me is because

I felt like I had to live up to my dad’s reputation. I put a lot of extra pressure on myself. His daughter wouldn’t make careless mistakes, you know? And I felt like I’d let him down, and a lot of other people down, too, who’d believed in me. Add that into seeing the family grieve and I lost my edge.”

“I knew your dad. He would have been proud of you no matter what. Liz, you put so much pressure on yourself to be everything. No one can live up to that.”

“I know. I think I have to take a step back and make my own way. As Lizzie Howard and not Russ Howard’s daughter. I don’t know where I’m going to end up, but that’s how I want to move forward.”