* * *
It was five minutes to five on a Wednesday night. Jess had precisely two hours to close up, count her cash, grab some dinner, and prepare for tonight’s class, which was wire and bead wreath ornaments. Easy concept, sometimes finicky on the execution. And she was not in the mood for it. She was tired and she was cranky.
Tessa closed out the cash register since the last customer had left. Jess made herself take a deep, cleansing breath and let it out slowly. She’d been irritable ever since the blowup with Rick. At first she told herself it was because of the break-in but the mess had been cleaned up, the insurance claim filed, and all she had to do was wait for the money to come through and she could order new furniture. She told herself that it was hormones, but that was just an excuse. No, it was Rick. She missed him. She loved him. And each morning, when her stomach didn’t feel quite right, she was reminded that they still needed to talk.
The door opened, the tiny bell dinging merrily. “Sorry, we’re closed,” she said, turning around, but stopped short at the sight of Ric
k standing in the doorway, a flat cardboard box under his arm.
Her heart thudded against her ribs. She was glad to see him again. Her eyes drank in the sight of him, lean and rugged, dangerous dark eyes and black hair that she missed running her hands through. Every molecule in her body was happy to see him.
“See you Saturday, Jess.” Tessa grabbed her backpack from under the counter. “Hi, Rick,” she said shyly as she passed by him and out the door.
Rick turned around and locked the dead bolt. “Now you’re closed,” he said, smiling a little.
“I … I didn’t expect to see you today,” she managed, running her hand down her long sweater even though it didn’t need smoothing. She wished now she’d dressed up a little or something, rather than wearing comfortable leggings and boots and the old sweater. She’d worn it because some of her waistbands were becoming a little snug as her figure began to change. The knowledge sent a little heat to her cheeks.
“The festival is this weekend. I did promise you I’d bring you more items.”
“And you keep your promises?”
His gaze locked with hers. “I try, Jess. I really try. I’m not perfect, but I’m trying.” He took a step forward and her pulse quickened. “You make me want to try.”
Her breath caught in her chest. “I’m not much into taking emotional risks.”
“I know. And I know I let you down.” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “God, I let you down, Jess. In so many ways. I was so afraid, and I let that keep me from you when you needed me most. I’m sorry, Jess. You have no idea how sorry.”
She wanted to go to him. He was standing by the counter now and she was eight, maybe ten feet away. But she couldn’t. Not yet. She had to get her thoughts together. Be ready for the logical and responsible conversation they needed to have. She folded her arms in front of her. “I’m sorry, too. For not trusting you. For not believing in you even though time and time again you proved yourself. Rick, both of us have baggage. I’d rather we be friends than end up hurting each other any more than we already have.”
There was understanding in his gaze, understanding and tenderness and she wasn’t sure how strong she could be. “Don’t look at me that way,” she said bluntly.
“I can’t help it. I love you, Jess.”
God, he didn’t just say that. Tears sprang to her eyes and she blinked quickly, trying to clear them away. “Don’t,” she whispered, her voice wobbling. “You’ll only make it worse.”
He put the package down on the counter and took a step toward her. “It can’t get any worse,” he said, his voice quiet but firm. “I’m lost without you. Nothing is right anymore. There’s so much going on inside me and all I want is to hold you in my arms at night and whisper my secrets in the dark. And you’re not there and I’m dying a little inside. I need you, Jess. I love you.”
Oh, how she wanted to believe him. He took another step closer and it would be so easy to launch herself into his arms, feel them tighten around her.
Another step forward and she could see the pain in his eyes.
“I was so wrong, Jess. I shut you out instead of letting you in. I should never have sent you away. I might have protected you that night, if not for my own stupid pride. Instead I was selfish, so selfish. I need to change that. I started seeing someone, Jess. A doctor in Augusta who’s going to help me deal with everything. So I can be a better man.” He was only a few feet away now. “A better man like you deserve.”
He was saying all the right things and she was touched. More than that, he’d ignited a hope in her that had been extinguished for a long time. But there was too much to talk about, too much he didn’t know for this to be a fresh start. Besides, she wasn’t entirely blameless here either.
“You’re not the only one who has issues to work through,” she murmured, tucking her hands into the soft pockets of her sweater. “And there are things I need to tell you…”
“There are things I need to tell you, too. But first I need to know you’re okay. That there hasn’t been any more trouble with Mike.”
“He’ll go to court early next year,” she confirmed. “And I have a restraining order now. He’s an afraid little man, Rick. I don’t think he expected I’d fight back this time.”
“If you need me to testify about Thanksgiving, say the word.”
“I will.” She looked up at him and felt herself soften. He looked so sincere, so open. More open than she’d ever seen him before.
“Can we go somewhere more comfortable to talk?” he asked.
Her loft would be a bit too intimate yet and the only furniture was the bed, which thankfully had remained mostly untouched—only the bedding had been sliced. “I haven’t bought furniture yet,” she replied. “We could sit in the workshop.”