The one time he made a choice for himself and look what happened. There was no way he could “play” at rodeo for the whole season when there was a baby on the way. There were medical bills to pay. Things that Lizzie would need. And he had enough pride to be determined that she wouldn’t shoulder all that herself. Yeah, he’d taken the year off after calculating he had enough to cover his own expenses. But this was definitely an extra he hadn’t counted on.
Then there was Lizzie herself. It bugged him that she expected so little. And it bugged him that she seemed so completely immune to him. It wasn’t so long ago that she’d been in his arms, surrendering to his touch. He swallowed heavily and tried to banish the image that fired through his brain.
“The truth is, I don’t know what the hell I want,” he answered honestly. “I think we both need time to think about it, sort things through. I’m having a hard time thinking of myself as a dad. And we barely know each other.”
Maybe, but it was hard not to get lost in the deep blue of her eyes. They were large and thickly lashed and stood out especially with her hair pulled back away from her face. He couldn’t be faulted for his attraction, could he? She was a beautiful woman.
“I’m struggling with that, too,” she admitted. “I always thought I’d start with my career at Baron, and then fall in love and get married and then think about kids.”
“All on a well-executed schedule?”
“Something like that.” She smiled weakly at him.
“I always thought I’d work with horses,” he admitted. “I loved rodeo and still do, but more than that I loved working in the barns, taking care of the stock, just like my dad. I used to help him at the ranch where he worked. Followed him around like a devoted puppy.” He grinned.
“What happened?”
Chris shrugged. “My parents wanted more for me. I showed a good head for numbers and liked science. I mostly took engineering to please them. They worked hard to save enough to help send me to university. It felt like the right thing to do.”
“You don’t like it?”
“It’s all right.” He frowned. He always felt a little guilty about not being happier in his profession. “It’s a good living. And I’ve been able to help them out from time to time, pay them back for my education.”
She nodded. “That’s too bad. That you’re not happy, that is. My sister Savannah manages the store on the ranch, and she loves it. You can see it in her face when you walk in, she’s smiles from ear to ear. I might not be quite that open with my feelings, but I always wanted to work with Dad at Baron.”
“And you like Human Resources?”
“Sure. I like people. I like thinking about their personalities, strengths, weaknesses, how they interact with other people, seeing who’d make a good fit on a team. I think I get a good sense of things and it made me good at my job.”
“Made?”
“I’m not quite as hands-on as I used to be. Most of that is left to my manager and his staff.”
Chris nodded. “And now you’re looking at having to step into the driver’s seat.”
She raised her eyebrows in a “what are you going to do?” look. “It appears so. I guess the one goo
d thing about it is that Dad should be back before the baby’s born.”
He hadn’t even thought to ask about a due date. A quick calculation in his mind put him at mid-October. “What is the official date, anyway?”
“October twelfth.”
An autumn baby. His parents would be thrilled.
She checked her watch. “I suppose I should get to the hospital.”
“I’ll get ready,” he suggested. “I don’t want to hold you up.”
She looked surprised. “I don’t expect you to hang around there again, you know. Yesterday you went way above and beyond.”
There she was, pushing him away again. “Wouldn’t it be easier to go with you, and then we can leave right from the hospital instead of backtracking?”
“People will get the wrong idea.”
He pursed his lips. “So what? Eventually they are going to know we had sex. You said it yourself. Showing up together makes it look like there was more to it than a one-nighter. Unless there’s another reason why you don’t want me around?”
She blushed.