Almost a Family

“That was a long time ago,” she chided.

But he patted the cushion beside him. “Come, sit,” he suggested gently.

Impatience and anger flared up seemingly out of nowhere. Sweet talking was not what she needed right now. What she needed was to stop tip-toeing around the past, stop being stupidly emotional and just deal.

“The people we were then thought they could have everything. We both know that life isn’t like that.” Her tone was cold and flat as she systematically started to shut down her feelings.

Molly couldn’t read his expression at her words and avoided looking into his eyes. She knew if she got caught up in the moment, she’d lose her nerve to say what she’d come to say.

“I came to tell you I’m leaving tomorrow,” Molly said abruptly.

“Tomorrow?” The hands that had been calm suddenly raked through his hair. “But you weren’t supposed to leave until Sunday.”

“Do three more days make that much difference?” She looked up at him then and put her hands in her pockets to keep from reaching out and smoothing his hair away from his face. “I got called back now. I have to go.”

“Your job? This is about work?”

She missed the threatening note in his question. Fact was, she was undeniably angry at the ultimatum her boss had delivered this afternoon. Sure, she’d been distracted while here and she hadn’t exactly kept up with her files. She knew that, but she had planned to put in extra time once she got back to Calgary, getting things in order so there’d be less fuss when she did something she never thought she’d do. Put in her notice. After all, time was all she was going to have, wasn’t it? But instead she’d gotten the call today, reaming her out for neglecting an important client, demanding she return immediately or face consequences. Hearing her boss’s voice on the phone, making demands, told her she was making the right choice in walking away. She wanted more, something better where she could be happy and make a difference. Kim was home and doing well. Jason was next door if they needed anything. Why did leaving feel so very wrong? Why did she resent it so much?

The answer came swiftly—because once again, the choice was being taken out of her hands.

“I let things slide. I have to go make things right.” She ached to tell him she’d be returning to Fredericton, but something in his closed expression held her back. She got the slippery feeling he was judging her again and making this decision had been hard enough without him weighing in on it.

To her surprise, Jason snorted. “Nice boss. Doesn’t even give you three weeks’ vacation.”

“Look,” she defended, “I told them I’d work from here. But I got behind, didn’t follow through. I have to go back to finish what I started.”

Silence. Her last sentence echoed through the room, and mingled with the soft sounds coming from the stereo. In that heavy silence, they both heard the truth—she had never been too concerned with going back and making things right before.

But she was here, now, to change that. Things needed to be said before she left. Things left far too long to fester and hurt. At least this time when she left he’d know exactly why.

“Leaving again. So do you plan on buying your sister’s and niece’s affection every now and then to salve your conscience?” His words came out in bitter staccato.

“You know that’s not what I did. You can’t buy someone’s love. I was trying to help, to make up for the times I haven’t been here. They both deserve that.”

That crease appeared between his brows again. “The Molly that arrived here three weeks ago would have thrown her money around for effect.”

She eyed him curiously. “She probably would have. But I’m not the same person I was when I arrived. Thank goodness.”

She took a step forward, stopping before she got close enough to touch him. “I didn’t say goodbye to you before, Jason, and…and I’m sorry. But I’m saying it this time.”

She perched on the arm of a chair, stared into the flickering flames of the gas fireplace. He’d known she was coming over and he’d deliberately set up the scene with candles and music. But the truth was they were not the same people they’d been. A romantic setting wouldn’t change all there was—and wasn’t—between them. Again she questioned her decision to come back here permanently. Would it be too hard with Jason as a constant reminder? Would it keep them from moving on after all? Would it be better to find a whole new place for a new beginning?

“Why didn’t you say goodbye? Why did you leave the way you did?”

The answer was easy enough, and now was the time for truth. “Because I was angry. Because I still loved you and I felt like I’d be beating my head against a brick wall trying to make you understand how I felt. And because…” Her throat closed against the threat of tears. The years they’d shared deserved the truth, however late it was in coming. “Because I was afraid you’d be able to convince me to stay.”

His gaze snapped to hers in surprise. She wished he would stop looking at her that way. He had the most beautiful, penetrating eyes of any man she’d ever known, with the uncanny ability to make her feel as if he could see right into her soul. Right now she did not want him to see that deeply inside her.

“I would have had that power?”

She took a breath. “Yeah. You would have. And I couldn’t let that happen, because I knew—I know—that I would have ended up hating you for it in the end.”

“I loved you.”

“I know you did. That’s why it hurt so much, don’t you see?” She rose from the chair and went to the fireplace, resting her hands on the mantle. “I knew that you loved me, and even when I felt I was right making the decision I did, I still felt I was wrong for hurting you. I couldn’t handle it, so I left. I was determined to build the life I wanted. To show you I’d been right.”

“But…”