Almost a Family

“Stop. Right. There.”

He stopped at her dire command.

“You don’t get it, do you?” She smoothed down her blouse and jeans, trying to wipe away any sense of the seduction she’d felt while in his arms. “Don’t you see what you’re doing? You’re making me fit the mold of what you want. Again. Who would be making all the sacrifices here, Jason? Certainly not you. Your life will remain exactly as you’ve ordered it while mine gets turned topsy-turvy. You see what works for you and expect everyone else to see that too, and order their lives around yours.”

“But you already said there are no ties back in Calgary.”

“So what? It’s my life. It might not be perfect, but it’s what I’ve built for myself. Why is it any less important than yours?” She was defending a life that didn’t really even exist anymore. But Jason had to understand. He knew nothing of her longing to reconnect with her sister and to start a new job, make a difference. And right now that wasn’t the point at all.

He squared off now, growing angrier. “What is the big issue here? You know you want to be closer to Kim and Sara. You still have feelings for me; don’t deny it. What is it that’s holding you back?”

She stared into his eyes, and said with no ambiguity at all, “You.”

His mouth opened and shut; for once he was completely speechless.

“You are the one holding us back. Because you can’t even see why. I loved you then and I’ll admit my feelings for you were never resolved, but you want exactly the same thing now you did then. You have everything planned out for me, perfectly ordered like some cutter life that suits you. But that’s not me, Jason, and you’ve never been able to see beyond that.”

“What are you talking about? It’s always been you, Molly.” He stared at her. His hands threaded through his hair in frustration while she took two steps backward. “Is there anything so wrong with wanting to be with you? To love you? To want a family with you?”

“But it’s all on your terms!” she shouted back at him. Why couldn’t he see that?

“I don’t have terms. All I know is what makes sense. And from where I’m standing, it’s simple.”

“Nothing is simple, not with you.”

“Don’t you get it? I tried over the years to move on. God knows I tried.” He let out a bitter laugh, dropped his hands. “But it never worked. Ask Kim.”

Molly’s eyes narrowed, her heart grew heavy with dread and her words were iron-lined velvet. “Ask my sister what?”

His eyes blanked as he scrambled for words. “It’s just that…” He stopped, floundering.

“What exactly is there between you two, anyway?” Molly’s stomach lurched painfully. In the flash of a few seconds, she saw his face, pale with worry over Kim, Kim’s reaction to his name, the way he was with Sara… There was more. More they hadn’t told her, and more she needed to know right now before she went any further.

“Nothing. Friends, I swear it.”

But his lips thinned and his eyes were evading, caught in a trap of his own making.

“But there was, wasn’t there.”

“A long time ago,” he admitted. “She was alone. I was helping her out… I thought that if we could try it, maybe it would work out… I could move on and she’d…you know.”

Molly looked away, embarrassed. Dear Lord. What had she done? Never in a million years had she thought Jason was the kind of man to sleep with two sisters. She had to know for sure. At this point there was nothing more to lose…

“Yeah. I know.” Molly couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice. “So did you sleep with her, too?”

“What?”

“Close your mouth. You can’t be that surprised. I’m asking if you slept with my sister, then slept with me.”

“Molly, for God’s sake!” His eyes widened as he stared, incredulous. “Do you really think I’d do that?”

“I don’t know, Jason. I just don’t.”

“Well, let me enlighten you. I never slept with Kim. Never. We were both alone and lonely. We thought we might try something more. Kim’s a special woman…so strong. She’s been through so much. I would never trifle with her feelings unless we were sure.”

Molly stared at her toes as he continued. “But once we kissed, I knew…”

“Just don’t.” She cut him off, held up a hand. “I don’t want to hear the details about you kissing my sister.”