Control. The very word sent her straight back to his bedroom, straddling his thighs. She swallowed the saliva that suddenly pooled in her mouth. That morning was supposed to be it. Supposed to get him out of her system, relieve her stress, move on. Instead he was standing in the middle of her colorless apartment making her want him simply by breathing in the same space she was.
“What do you want, Jake?”
“Well…” He drew out the word suggestively. “Other than the golf thing, I can’t stop thinking about cake in a cup. I was thinking you might offer me dessert. Since it only takes three minutes. Or so you claimed.”
Of course he would remember. “You want me to make you cake in a cup.”
“Come on, I’ve cooked for you twice now. You owe me.”
He was right, of course. Each time they’d been on his turf, at Jake’s. Even the day at the beach had been courtesy of a family friend of his. She went to the cupboard and took out two mugs. “Fine,” she said. “Cake in a cup coming up. Have a seat.”
She mixed the sugar, egg, oil, cocoa, milk, flour and vanilla in the cup and put it in the microwave to let it cook while she mixed up the next cake. While it was cooking, she took the first one out of the mug and put it on a plate. “Ice cream?”
“Of course. What’s warm cake without ice cream?”
The microwave beeped as she scooped out the ice cream—the premium kind with dark flecks of vanilla bean throughout. What the hell, she thought, reaching inside the fridge for the fudge sauce. She poured some in a small cup and heated it too, then poured it over both cakes. She took both into the living room and handed one to Jake, who was sitting on the couch.
“Hmm,” he said. “It looks like cake.”
Her lips twitched. “It is cake. Fast cake.” She aimed a significant look at him. “Emergency cake.”
He laughed, took his fork and cut off a piece. “Hmm,” he said again. “It tastes like cake. Kind of.”
“The texture isn’t very fine, it’s true,” she admitted, cutting into her own, adding some ice cream and sauce to the fork. “But it fits the major criteria. It’s chocolate, it’s fast and it’s warm.”
The atmosphere seemed to relax a bit as they ate, but once Jake put his plate down on the coffee table she felt his eyes on her again. She took the last bit of ice cream from her plate and savoured the vanilla flavor, but then put her plate down too, wondering what was going to happen next. What did she want to happen? For Jake to leave? Or for something more? It would be so much easier if she weren’t so confused about it all.
“You’ve got some chocolate sauce…” he murmured, sliding closer. She stared at him, mesmerized as his face came closer. She clasped her hands in her lap. She would not reach out for him. She would not touch him.
But he touched her. He kissed the corner of her mouth, then used his tongue to remove any trace of the hot fudge. Kendra’s body went into a slow meltdown. How was it he could do this every time? Did she have no willpower where he was concerned?
“Mmm,” he murmured. “Better than the cake.”
She expected him to take things to the next level, but instead he sat back and rested his hand on her knee. He didn’t touch her anywhere else.
She didn’t understand. If this was all about sex he would be touching her in a way that didn’t feel quite so…platonic. She’d be able to stop him and finally explain that she couldn’t do this. It had very little to do with the fact that he owned a bar anymore. It was easier to blame the
bar owner than it was the individual who was responsible for their own choices. No one had held her mother down and forced her to drink. Kendra’s mom had made the choice and Kendra had paid the price for it.
And it had next to nothing to do with the fact that he’d run wild when he came back to town. It was all to do with her. She didn’t know how to do this. She wasn’t sure what to do with what she was feeling. Because it was more than physical. And if it was more than that for Jake too, they were in big trouble.
“Your mind is going a mile a minute,” Jake commented, squeezing her knee. “Don’t try so hard, Kendra.”
“I thought…” She couldn’t possibly say what was on her mind. It all sounded so stupid and conceited. I thought you were going to seduce me. I thought you were going to touch me. And the I thought it was just sex sounded so cold and calculating.
“You thought I wanted more than cake?”
She nodded.
His eyes lit and he pseudo-smiled, but he didn’t move any closer. “I do. But I’m not in any rush.”
She gripped her fingers together so tightly her knuckles turned white. “You’re not?”
He shook his head. “I’ve realized something the last few days. This thing with us…it’s not going away. I think about you. A lot. And it’s not just about wanting you. I mean we could do that. We could go at it like bunny rabbits in the hope that it would just burn itself out. But I can’t do that sort of thing anymore, Kendra.”
“You can’t?” Her heart seemed to be lodged inside her throat. She was terrified of what he was saying, both the holding back part and the bit about wanting her.
“It’s extreme behavior. The other night we needed each other and it was good.” His jade-green eyes held her captive while his strong fingers stroked the skin just above her knee. “But I realized I can’t use you to lose myself again, you know? I don’t want you to be a different kind of addiction. A different way for me to avoid dealing with things.”