He stared down at her. She was biting her lip and he watched as the plump pink flesh changed shape as her teeth worried the surface.
“You don’t look so good, Luke.”
He didn’t feel so great either.
“What can I do to help you?”
He realized that she’d walked all the way out from the house in the July heat to find him. He held out a hand. “Get on. We’ll double up going back to the house.”
“But I…I can’t get up there.”
“Sure you can. I’ll take my foot out of the stirrup. Give me your hand and swing up.”
A brief look of consternation overtook her face and he felt his annoyance grow. Was she so turned off by his presence that she couldn’t stand to touch him now? He held out his hand. “Come on, Emily. It’s the fastest way back to the house. I need to get to town.”
She put her foot in the stirrup and clasped his forearm, taking a bounce and swinging her leg over the saddle so that she was shoehorned in behind him. The stirrups were too long for her now and Luke slid the toes of his boots back through as he slid an inch forward, giving her more room. Even so, they were spooned together and he felt every shift of her body torturing him as Caribou started off at a walk.
He swallowed tightly. It had to be bad if Liz had phoned in the middle of the day.
“Where’s Sam?” It didn’t escape his notice that Sam was absent.
“Day camp, remember?”
He hadn’t remembered, and he felt a spark of panic before telling himself to exhale and relax. It had only been a momentary thing and he was distracted. He swiveled in the saddle, half turning to meet her gaze. “Right. You would never have left him alone. I know that.”
He faced front again, frowning. Emily might know about his father but she hadn’t put the other pieces together. The lists, the precise order. It was all there for a reason. Just because he’d forgotten about day camp didn’t mean anything except he had other things on his mind.
And yet there was always that little bit of doubt.
Her hand rested lightly on his ribs, an additional point of connection. What would it feel like for her to put her arms around him and hold him close? He wished he could know, but it was better if he didn’t. He knew she still didn’t understand what it all meant—to his father, to this ranch, to him. And he didn’t want to explain. Right now he just needed to get to the nursing home. To see his father, the shell of a man he remembered. To hope that it was not too late.
And maybe, just maybe…there was always the forlorn hope that his dad might even recognize him one more time.
“Hang on,” he said. And when her arms snaked around his middle, holding on, he felt his heart surge as he spurred the gelding into a canter and hastened their way home.
CHAPTER TEN
EMILY WRAPPED HER arms around Luke’s waist, feeling the steel waves of pain and resentment binding him up in one unreachable package. His strong thighs formed a frame for hers as they headed for the farmyard and barns. She wished she could be out riding with him under different circumstances. A pleasure ride, stopping beneath the shade of a poplar or walking along the irrigation canal. She wanted the Luke of last night back, even as much as that man frightened her with the force of her feelings. The man she clung to now was in pain. She knew how that felt, and she wished she could take it away, make it better for him somehow.
He slowed the horse to a walk when the barn was in view, letting Caribou cool down. Emily said nothing as she dismounted and then he hopped down beside her. Silently they worked, removing bridle and saddle and Emily slid the blanket from the gelding’s back and draped it over a rail in the tack room. He turned Caribou out into the corral and locked the gate, still saying absolutely nothing. Emily was beginning to worry. She didn’t want him going to town alone. When he was about to head for the truck, she stopped him with a hand on his arm.
“Wait. We’ll take my car.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
The clipped words were not unexpected, but they stung just the same. He had not let her in since she’d arrived at the gate so now was no different. She knew that. She also knew he needed help. Whether he realized it or not, he’d been there for her when she needed it most. She would return the favor.
“Liz is there and someone will have to pick up the kids at day camp. And you’re in no shape to drive. So shut up and this once let someone do something for you.”
She stood her ground, staring him down and watched him struggle. Didn’t he think she could see how he always took care of everyone else? She wasn’t blind. Married or not, his sisters still turned to him when they needed him. And he was there. Seeing his face when she’d told him about his dad had been all she needed. Someone had to be there for Luke.
“We’re only wasting time,” she said, quieter now, but no less sure of herself.
“We’ll take your car but I’m driving.” He gave in with a terse nod.
She could agree to that, so long as he wasn’t alone. “Give me two seconds to grab my purse and keys,” she replied, already dashing to the house. Liz had sounded tearful on the phone. Emily didn’t want to think the worst, but she was sure that that was what Luke was thinking and getting him there as soon as possible would be best for everyone.
Liz and Cait were waiting outside the nursing home, sitting on a bench surrounded by petunias and geraniums. Baby Janna was asleep, bundled in a carrier and Liz’s youngest was in a stroller, playing with a bar of brightly colored toys hooked along the top. When Luke strode up the walk, Liz rose and went to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Cait was slower getting to her feet but when she went to Luke, he opened an arm and she slid in beneath it.