Off The Clock (First Responders 1)

“Gabriel…”

Saying his name did it. Hearing her own voice, the sound of it torn and frayed around the edges, toppled her over the edge. Emotions she’d held in while focusing on delivering Nathan, feelings she’d pushed aside over the last few months, came bubbling up and out now that it was over. It wasn’t supposed to be this way, she thought bitterly. She wasn’t supposed to be alone. She was tired of being strong and brave when she really wanted a shoulder to lean on—and now that she had one, it made her feel weak. She didn’t want to need anyone. Needing hurt.

She began to cry, helpless to stop it. Gabe sat on the edge of the bed and took her in his arms and nothing had ever felt so good. With Gabe she’d always been able to just be herself, and tonight he’d been there when she needed him most. It shocked her to realize she wouldn’t have wanted anyone else.

“Don’t cry, Carly. It’s all fine, you see? You’re okay and your baby is healthy. Nothing else matters. It’s all going to be okay.”

“We could have died,” she whispered between sobs. The enormity of the accident sank in and she started to shake.

“But you didn’t. You held on and you delivered a gorgeous baby boy. You did that, Carly. Just you.”

He held her for a long time while she cried herself out. Jason should have been here, she thought, and knowing he didn’t care ignited a flare of resentment. But he hadn’t wanted Nathan, not from the start. At a time when they should been growing closer as a couple, the news of her pregnancy had fractured their marriage irreparably. For months Carly had stayed strong for her baby’s sake. She’d moved back to the valley to be closer to her parents. She’d worked as a substitute teacher until the short-term contract had come her way. And not once had Jason called, asked how she was, asked about the pregnancy.

Tonight she was filled with bittersweet joy. Nathan was a blessing. She was somebody’s mother—it was almost too profound to believe. But it had cost her her marriage, and she couldn’t help feeling like something was missing because of it. Both for her and for her baby son.

And then there was Gabe. Having him here tonight had somehow reminded her of how she’d used to feel when he was around. Safe and secure, a little breathless. He’d always seen her as Brandon’s little sister, but she’d hoped, once upon a time when fairy tales still seemed possible, that he’d see something more. It had been foolish, but the night he’d stepped in and taken her to the prom she’d wondered if he would ever see her the way she saw him. She’d kissed him good night after the dance, but he’d ended it there and backed away. At the time she’d been hugely embarrassed. And yet she’d never quite managed to forget. There’d always been this little bit of “what if” hanging on. What if they’d started something that night? Would things have ended up differently?

But he hadn’t seen her in a romantic way, and life had gone on. She’d gone away to universit

y and he’d lost his football scholarship, instead moving to Halifax to study to be a paramedic. She’d married Jason and moved to Moncton and Brandon had moved out west, effectively erasing any need for regular contact between the two families. They only crossed paths by coincidence now. Neighbours. Citizens from the same town. Contemporaries.

But tonight there was more. Tonight she was reminded of the kind of boy—the man—she’d always admired and secretly yearned for. And oh, he’d come through for her in a major way.

She sniffled and leaned back a little, moving gingerly as stiffness began to set in. “You saved us tonight, Gabe. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you.”

“It’s my job,” he said quietly, but his fingers tenderly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You were off the clock, remember?” She smiled at him. “When I looked up and saw your face…” Her heart gave a little jump. The way he was looking at her, his dark eyes so grave and his lips unsmiling…

“I was so scared,” Gabe admitted, letting out a breath. “I saw you in that car and I froze. First time that’s happened since…”

She wondered if he was going to mention the night Brandon had nearly died, but he stopped abruptly and she wondered if the memory was still too raw. So many things had changed that night. Lives had taken new directions. “Because you knew me?” she nudged gently.

He shook his head. “I’ve known patients before. Because…I care about you.”

Something like excitement zinged through her but she blinked, clearing her mind. Of course he cared. They’d known each other for a long time. He didn’t mean anything other than that.

He held her hand within his. “I don’t know what I would have done if anything had happened to you.”

She couldn’t let herself read too much into the words. “Well, it didn’t. There’s no permanent damage and I’m already on the mend.” She forced a smile.

He shifted into a more comfortable position, putting his left hand on the other side of her hips rather than perching awkwardly on the edge of the bed. Her heart seemed to pound like a drum at his nearness. For a long moment his dark eyes burrowed into hers and she felt the old longings come back. Who was she kidding? Gabe had always been her ideal. Even if she wasn’t seventeen anymore, she still remembered those feelings. Still appreciated his strength, loyalty. And now he was here, closer to her than he’d ever been before. She owed him everything. And she had no idea how she could ever possibly pay him back.

“Carly, I…”

For as long as it took for her to draw a breath and hold it, he seemed to search for words. Then he simply gathered her in his arms again and pressed his forehead against hers, like she was something fragile and infinitely precious.

She tried to still the pounding of her heart. This was insane. It was just because emotions were heightened. Goodness, she’d just had an accident, which was traumatic enough without adding having a baby to the list. Her body was battered and bruised and exhausted, and so were her emotions. She shouldn’t be feeling this way. Aware. And worse—hopeful.

She rationalized all those things, but it didn’t stop the tingle that raced through her at the feel of his warm skin, or the way his breath seemed to mingle with hers. His hand was curled around the back of her neck and he shifted ever so slightly, touching his lips to hers.

Gabriel Brenner was kissing her.

It only lasted as long as it took the idea to sink in, and then his lips were gone. Disappointment surged as Carly realized it meant nothing. It was just a chaste, simple, friendly kiss brought on by the heightened emotions of the night.

Until his mouth touched hers again, firmer this time. He opened his lips a little and Carly sighed against him, knowing it had to be all wrong but unable to fight the sense that it was so right. His lips were warm, soft, and even a little persuasive. She caught the faint scent of masculine shampoo and aftershave as she sat up farther, his T-shirt brushing the hospital gown hanging over her shoulders.

He sat back again, perched on the edge of the bed. Carly wondered what it all meant. If it meant anything at all. They’d just been through something. She couldn’t read her own wishes into it.