Carly’s heart gave a painful lurch when Gabe dropped his hand and stepped back. “Is that what you think this is about?” he asked. She tried to ignore the underlying hurt in his voice. She didn’t want to hurt him, not ever. But what he was saying…it wasn’t love. And Carly couldn’t settle for anything less. Not ever again.
She took a breath, trying to steady her emotions so that she could actually speak. “Think about it. In high school you took me to the prom. Why did you do that?”
“Because you were stood up and I felt sorry for you.”
Carly lifted an eyebrow, trying to hide how the truth hurt even though she’d asked for it. “Like you feel sorry for me now?”
Gabe’s expression darkened. “That’s what you think? That I kissed you out of pity? That I slept with you because I felt sorry for you?”
It sounded so harsh when he put it that way. And it wasn’t really what she meant. But she wanted everything—his love, his heart—and he was holding back. “Okay, so maybe not. But let’s be honest here. I was Brandon’s little sister and you knew I had a huge crush on you. You came to my rescue then, but I didn’t hear from you for years, not while I was away at school or after I got married. Not even when we lived and worked in the same town. What got us talking again? You came to my rescue, and I thank God every day that you did. Then I became poor Carly. Single mum trying to do everything and there you were, stepping in to assist.”
“So I’m wrong for wanting to help you?”
Carly wanted to cry. “That’s not it, don’t you see? I don’t ever want to be an obligation. I never want to be tied to someone because they think it’s their duty.”
Could she really tell him how she felt? She’d look f
oolish, wouldn’t she? After all she’d been through, she was still holding on to her romantic notion of love. Still believing in the fairy tale even though she had proof that they didn’t exist.
And yet she knew in her heart that nothing would be the same after today. What did she have to lose? Because it wasn’t what she was saying that would make the difference. It was what she wasn’t saying. She kept getting stuck on what she didn’t want rather than just telling him what she did.
“I don’t need to be rescued. I…I just need to be loved.”
Silence fell like an axe and Carly lowered her gaze. She knew it was probably a girlish ideal but she couldn’t escape the certainty that she was right. “What happens when I don’t need rescuing anymore? Where would we be then? Because you’re right about one thing. I never want to go through with anyone what I went through with Jason. And with you it would be so much worse.”
“Why worse?” He asked it quietly.
“Because I have loved you over half my life,” she replied, feeling more sure of herself with every breath. “Because you have always been my ideal and finally getting to love you and then lose you would be more than I could take.”
Gabe put his finger beneath her chin and tilted her face up the tiniest bit. His dark eyes were wide and his throat bobbed as he swallowed. “Say that again,” he ordered.
“Say what…”
“The first bit. Say it again, Carly. Please.”
“Because I’ve loved you half my life?”
He closed his eyes and Carly watched the lashes tremble.
Gabe fought against the emotion threatening to overwhelm him. Hearing her say the words was more—was better—than he could have imagined.
He opened his eyes to see tears in hers and he took her hands in his, squeezing. “I didn’t expect that,” he whispered. “I hoped. I hoped that maybe, with time, you’d love me back.”
“Back?”
He loved how she sounded a little breathless, just like he felt. “Yes, back. Don’t you see? There is a world of difference between ‘I don’t blame you’ and ‘I love you’. I wasn’t sure you ever would…”
“So it was all to…to make it up to me?”
“Not an obligation, and not a duty, don’t you see? It was to earn back what I lost that night when Brandon ODed. I thought I had failed you all. I’d let you down.”
“You thought we stopped caring about you.”
“Didn’t you?”
Carly stepped into his embrace, knocking over the bucket and scattering the blooms over the grass. She put her arms around him, resting her head on his warm chest. “Never. We didn’t, and I certainly didn’t. You never had to earn my love. It was always yours, right from the beginning. You didn’t have to save my life or cut my grass or cook me dinner. You didn’t even have to blow my mind in bed.” She tilted her head and looked up at him, smiling now. “All you had to do was look at me like you are right now. All you had to do was say the words.”
“I love you, Carly. I always have, even when I thought I shouldn’t. Even when I knew I didn’t deserve you.”