Beneath the Badge (First Responders 4)

Matt chuckled, her reaction releasing a little of the tension tightening his body. It was nice seeing her riled up. Passionate. It made her chin jut out a little and her eyes sparkle.

Besides, she was right. “You’d what? Put him in a cage, make him sit in his own shit?” he suggested.

Her lips twitched. “Precisely.”

Against his better judgment, he reached out and put his hand on her arm. “You’re needed. If someone will tell me what to do, I’ll do it.”

“Thank you, Matt.”

She turned and issued instructions to one of the staff who was dressed in scrubs, then she disappeared into the exam room with a parting smile. A few minutes later he was handed a bottle, and the assistant picked up a puppy and tucked it into a soft towel.

“Here you go,” she said with a smile. “Would you rather have a more comfortable chair? There are four of them, you know. It’ll take a while.”

“That’d be great.”

“Come with me.”

He finally got settled in a quiet room with a glider rocking chair that looked as though it was someone’s cast-off. The cushion was distinctly bum-shaped and he sank into it gratefully. The assistant showed him how to hold the puppy and then introduce the bottle. To his surprise, the little bundle of fur instantly started pulling on the nipple.

“Good girl,” she crooned and then smiled at Matt. “You ever fed a baby?”

He almost laughed. As if. “No.”

“Puppies need to be burped the same as babies, to get rid of the air in their tummies. She might not finish that whole bottle, but once she’s done, you’ll need to pat her back and burp her, same as you would a baby. I’ll bring in bottles for the other three and a few fresh towels just in case…”

“Just in case what?” he asked.

She grinned. “In case they go to the bathroom. Better in the towel than on your uniform.”

“Oh.”

He’d dealt with a lot in his career. A little puppy pee and poop wasn’t a big deal.

She left and closed the door.

Through it he heard the muffled sounds of voices and footsteps and the staff attended to the dogs. The little bundle in his hand sucked away at the bottle. He could feel the warmth through his clothing and he sighed. Walking into that…well, puppy mill was the correct term, he supposed. Walking in there today had brought back a lot of surprising memories. Cages came in all shapes and sizes, real and perceived. The true shock had been realizing that having the spirit beaten out of you was a common enough look—even across species.

The puppy loosened his hold on the nipple and gave a satisfied puppy sigh that warmed a tiny corner of Matt’s heart. Dutifully, he rubbed and patted the pup’s back until there was a little hiccup and burp. Then he placed her down on a fresh, soft bed that had been set up beside him. There was a hot-water bottle at the back covered with a thicker towel and the other three pups were huddled against the mound that mimicked a mother’s warmth.

He repeated the process with two more puppies, wondering how often this would have to be done and for how long. Sitting in the comfortable chair with the warm body snuggled against him was making him realize how long the day had been, especially since he’d been awake half the night…again. He’d thought the nightmares would be a thing of the past once he got here and started the new position. He’d been wrong.

He hadn’t needed today’s reminder of what he’d seen—and done—in the past. All he had to do was close his eyes, because he saw it play out each night in his dreams.

He suspected he always would.

Lindsay opened the door carefully, hoping she wasn’t going to bump into a tiny ball of fluff. The coast clear, she went the rest of the way into the room and bit down on her lip at the sight that greeted her.

A new bed had been arranged for the puppies, and three of them were curled up together next to a warm hot-water bottle. The fourth was still in Matt’s arms. A tiny, empty bottle rested in one hand while the other cradled the puppy close to his chest. Both seemed perfectly contented with the arrangement. With a full tummy, the little pup was sound asleep still wrapped in the cotton towel.

She tiptoed over and had a peek at the other three. They were fine for now, cuddled close together and making whimpery sorts of puppy noises from the bed. She swallowed a lump in her throat. Their mama wasn’t doing so well. Her kidneys were in bad shape, she was horribly thin and Lindsay suspected she’d been bred so many times that her body was wearing out. The lot of them had been seized just in time. She wouldn’t have lasted long, and w

ithout producing milk, neither would her pups.

She took a moment to study Matt a little closer. He looked quite different in his uniform. More officious, for one. When she’d looked up and seen him standing in the driveway, he’d seemed a little bit dangerous, what with the vest beneath his shirt and the gun at his hip. His belt with all his gear must have become uncomfortable at some point, because he’d unbuckled it and put it on the floor beside the chair.

She was used to seeing him with a cocky smile on his face, but today when he’d arrived at the clinic there’d been a seriousness—a hardness—to his expression that surprised her. Now, in sleep, she noticed uncommonly long eyelashes lying on his cheeks, the way the skin along his jaw and cheekbones was relaxed. There was something almost…sad about it. Resigned…

She clenched her teeth and backed up towards the door. There was a reason why she recognized that particular expression and she wouldn’t let Matt Parker suck her into whatever drama or pain he had going on. It was his to deal with, and just because he’d kissed her on her doorstep didn’t mean she had to get involved. Growing up as she had, she’d finally learned that it wasn’t up to her to fix anyone. It was exhausting and it never worked. Losing her mother had been one thing. But dealing with her father’s depression had been quite another. Most of the time she’d felt like she could never say or do anything right. Even now, there was a heavy, claustrophobic feeling that came over her when she walked into his house.