She looked up. “Did you get in trouble?”
His gaze was inscrutable. “I’m not heartless, Ally. We do try to save people’s pets if it’s possible. Let’s just say that right now Mark’s none too happy with me and I’m taking a fair bit of ribbing down at the station.”
So he was in trouble. Because of her. “I know I should say I’m sorry, but—”
“But you’re not. I know.”
She pushed up off the ground and brushed off the back of her pants. She still smelled like smoke and Chris had showered the stench away, smelling now like soap and clean clothing. His short military-style-cut hair was precisely in place, while her dirty-blonde locks hung limp around her shoulders.
She already felt inferior around him, and this wasn’t helping at all.
“Just so you know, there’ll be an investigation as to the cause of the fire.”
She tilted her head to look up at him. “Why would you feel you had to mention that? Do you think I had something to do with it?”
His brows pulled together. “Of course not.” He paused. “Did you?”
Her humiliation was complete. She turned around and punched him in the arm. “I can’t believe you’d ask that. Go away, Christopher.” Anger and grief and impotence all seemed to wind their way through her veins. “Just go away.”
He shrugged and turned away. “Just don’t touch anything,” he said over his shoulder.
“I’m not stupid,” she called after him, the words laced with derision.
He stopped, turned around and faced her again, his hands on his hips. “I never said you were. I’m assuming you want to know what happened here today because it meant so much to you. That’s all.”
Ally bit down on her lip. Was she overreacting? It had obviously been a stressful day. But look at Chris. He was unflappable. He never flew off the handle or did anything impulsive. And perhaps that had been the problem all along. He’d had everything planned out in stages, and Ally had felt the walls closing in around them. He made decisions and she didn’t know what she wanted. It had all been rather intimidating. And while he’d been sure that being a firefighter was what he wanted to do, she’d been afraid. Afraid for him, afraid of losing him someday. Afraid that if she became his wife she’d always be the one in the supporting role. What would happen to her if anything happened to him?
She hadn’t even known what she wanted from life yet and he’d been pressing her to set a date.
“I do want to know what happened. The building is old. I suppose it could have been anything.”
“So let them do their job. Go home and shower, get some rest.”
“I need to check on the animals. They’re at the clinic and—”
“Take a shower and put on some clean clothes,” he suggested, making her feel dowdy and insignificant again. “Trust me. The animals aren’t going anywhere in the next few hours.”
It irked her that he was right. She felt and smelled disgusting. She’d go home and take a hot bath and figure out what happened next.
And then she’d visit the clinic. There were things to be done. Most of all she wanted to see the animals. To see the tail wags and hear the purrs. When everything around her was going wrong, their unconditional affection never failed to perk her up.
“Okay.”
“Do you want a lift?”
She knew she should say no. This was the most she and Chris had spoken since their breakup. It was only a ten minute walk, after all. But it had been an extremely long day and she was wrung out. “A drive would be great, actually.”
She reached for her purse out of habit, but it wasn’t there. It had been in the office and she’d forgotten it in the panic to free the animals. “Crap,” she muttered, shoving her hands in her pockets. Tomorrow she’d have to start the annoying task of replacing all her identification and cards.
“What’s wrong?”
She sighed. “My purse. It was inside.”
Chris just smiled. “So your priority was the animals and not your purse. Admirable.”
She followed him across the grass to where his truck waited, parked along the curb. “Maybe, but it’s going to be a pain in the ass replacing all my stuff.” The least of it was the forty dollars she’d had in her wallet.
He opened her door and shut it behind her once she was settled on the seat. She watched as he jogged around the hood of the truck. He’d gotten so big, so muscled. His uniform had concealed his physique with its bulkiness, but in his jeans and T-shirt she could see his figure with disturbing clarity.