Adorable was the best word to describe her right now.
“You all set?”
She nodded and held out a hand. “Let’s do it.”
The ice was smooth and the air crisp as they took their first gliding steps. “Be careful,” he warned. “I don’t want you falling down.”
She laughed. “I’ve been skating since I was three years old. Don’t worry about me.” Then she twisted a little and pretended to look at her bottom. “And besides, I have lots of cushioning at the moment.”
She didn’t. She had curves and perhaps her figure had softened since last summer, but he found it even more alluring. Last night he’d marveled at the feel of her against him, around him. The softness of her skin and her sighs. He was in serious danger here. Thank goodness she was considering moving, because he wasn’t sure what he would have said if she’d flat out refused. It wasn’t just the baby, now. He wanted her with him.
She was right. The apartment was monochrome. His life was monochrome. Until she’d arrived and brought all the color and life with her.
He gave her hand a small tug, and she did a little flip so that she was skating backward and now facing him. But he held on firmly, slowing them until they were stopped. And then he slid the few inches needed to have her puffy jacket pressed against his.
“Jeremy?”
He kissed her then, on her cold, soft lips, absorbing the taste of her, the scent of her skin, the gentle pressure of her belly against him. He wasn’t into showy PDA, so he let her go after a few seconds, but her eyes glittered and her cheeks were rosy.
“What was that for?”
“For being you. For agreeing to come here. For putting decorations in my apartment. For everything.”
Goodness, he was feeling all sentimental and mushy, but he wouldn’t always be able to hide his feelings, would he? He was sure she wasn’t in love with him. She hadn’t exactly leaped at the idea of moving here to be with him. But she cared, and he knew she would do whatever she thought was best for their baby. And that made her damn near perfect in his eyes.
“You’re welcome. Not that I did anything.”
“You’ve done more than you know, sweetheart.”
“Come on. Let’s skate. We’re just standing here like idiots.”
He laughed and took her hand again, and they skated around the rink, enjoying the winter air and the holiday energy and the benefit of physical exertion. They took a break for a bit and Tori took pictures of the giant Christmas tree and the statue of Prometheus.
“It’s amazing at night, all lit up,” he said, one arm around her waist as she leaned back against him. “But on a Friday night? Busy.” He gave her a small squeeze. “Maybe next year we can come back, at night. And bring the baby, too.”
The moment he said it something huge opened up inside him. Next year at this time, they would have a seven-month-old baby. They’d be a family. He thought about what Tori would look like, their child in her arms, breath cloudy in the frosty air, and his heart turned over. This was the right thing. He was sure of it.
“Oh, Jeremy.” She sighed and leaned against him. “Are we gonna be okay? Can we really do this?”
He turned her around and looked her square in the eye. “Of course we can, and we will. Because we both know what’s really important.”
Her eyes shone, and she gave a sniff. “I’m falling for you, Jeremy. And scared to death because of it. I don’t want to screw up the future for our baby and I don’t want to set myself up for heartbreak. I’m terrified.”
He didn’t want to examine his own feelings too closely. Love wasn’t something he did or really wanted. Love was what really hurt, and he wanted to be happy with Tori. But he could offer other assurances, couldn’t he, without getting himself in too deep? “You can count on me, I promise,” he said, and pulled her to him in a hug. “I’ve never done this before, you know. But I’m going to give you my best.”
“That’s all anyone can give,” she said, her voice muffled against his jacket. “And I’ll do the same. And we’ll rely on each other, won’t we?”
“Yes, sweetheart, we will.”
She nodded against him and he closed his eyes as he rested his cheek along her thick hat. She was so honest and kind and willing to think the best of people. He never wanted to do anything to break the trust they had. He’d do anything to protect her and the baby. They were the most important thing now.
She gave a mighty sniff and pulled back. “Oh, I’m such an emotional wreck,” she laughed, looking slightly embarrassed.
“No, you’re not. If you didn’t care so much, I wouldn’t l...like you so much.”
He’d almost said love. It had been right there, on the tip of his tongue, and he could tell by her wide eyes that she’d caught the slip. He couldn’t say it, he couldn’t give her false hope for something he wasn’t capable of giving. What was most important was not repeating his parents’ mistakes.
Which reminded him of the following night. The one thing he had left to do was take Bran’s advice and take her to Connecticut. He didn’t really want to; these days his interaction with his mother was only at special occasions. Still, if Tori was going to understand him, and his feelings about parenting, and if he wanted to have a future with her as well as his child, she had to know what she was becoming part of. Anything else wouldn’t be fair.