?
??Does that excuse his behavior?”
She shook her head. “But it makes me understand it. I know he wants to be a good father, but what if he just doesn’t have the ability to let himself love someone? I thought I could go through with it. We were getting along so well. I could see our relationship growing so that someday maybe it would be...whole.”
“But...”
“But it would never be what you had with Dad. And I don’t want to settle for anything less.”
Shelley reached for her napkin and dabbed her eyes and her nose. “Well, I guess your dad and I did something right.”
“I miss him.”
“Me, too, honey. Every day.”
They picked at their food. Tori was hungry, and the more she ate, the better she felt. Even though she couldn’t finish the large portion, she’d needed the nutrition. So did the baby.
Shelley looked up at her. “You said before that you thought you could go through with it. Don’t hate me for asking, but is there a chance you’re using what happened as a way out?”
She wanted to say yes without hesitation, but she couldn’t.
“You hesitated, which means you’re thinking about it. I just think maybe Jeremy isn’t the villain he’s been made out to be. Yes, he made a mistake and you absolutely deserve better. You shouldn’t settle for less. But you need to be clear on your own motives too, sweetie. Picking up and moving countries to be with a man you care about but who might not love you in return is a big risk.”
The meal she’d just eaten churned in her stomach. “And he gave me a way out without me having to take any responsibility.” Ugh, had she really done that? Used his weakness to justify her own behavior, her own fears?
“I’m not saying you should have stayed. I think I’m saying this is a big mess, and the only way through it is for both of you to be completely honest with each other. You reacted and you left. But now there are a lot of feelings to sort through. I think you should take the time to do it.” Then Shelley smiled. “And you can spend Christmas with your mama while you’re sorting things out.”
“I love you, Mom.”
Shelley reached for the bill. “Well, duh. Of course you do. Look, kiddo, since your dad died, I’ve watched you be afraid. It made you grow up in a hurry. You haven’t had a lot of relationships since Riley broke your trust, and I think that trust is your deal breaker. Have you told Jeremy that?”
“Not really.”
“Look, your dad set a wonderful example and standard, but you were also hurt when he left.”
“He didn’t leave us. Not like Jeremy’s dad did.”
“Not in the same way, but he left just the same. Don’t be afraid to love someone, honey. Jeremy lied to his mom. He didn’t stand up for you. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.”
“He didn’t say it.”
“I know. Just give it some thought, and when you’re ready, you and Jeremy need to talk. Even if it’s just to decide what’s going to happen with visitation.”
They got up and Shelley paid the bill, and then they got on the road again. As they merged onto the highway, Tori sighed. “I keep telling myself I’m afraid he’ll use his money and power to take the baby. I feel like I need to protect myself and prepare for that possibility. And then my heart says he would never do such a thing. And I think I’m being a fool, again.”
Shelley didn’t answer, but Tori knew exactly what she would say. Sit on it. Think about it and sort through her feelings. And then talk to Jeremy.
* * *
The bar was crowded and noisy, and Jeremy could tell Bran was only going through the motions. Cole, on the other hand, was flirting with their waitress and being his charming self. And Jeremy was running around with his tail between his legs.
Still. He couldn’t mope around his apartment forever, and Bran needed to get out now and again. His possession date for the new house was the first of February; then the three of them hanging out would be a rare occasion.
Of course, Bran was going to be close to Tori. And that irritated Jeremy like a scratchy tag on the back of his neck.
“Beer, whiskey, and a rum and coke.” The waitress put their drinks on the table. “Can I get you anything else?”
“We’re good for now,” Cole said, flashing her a million-dollar smile.