When there was no answer right away, she straightened and poked her head out of the kitchen. “Who is it?”
Jeremy stepped into the entryway. “It’s me.”
She shouldn’t be so glad to see him. But she was. He was here. In Nova Scotia. In her mother’s hall. On Christmas morning.
“Hi,” she said, belatedly realizing she was dressed in penguin pajamas with slippers on her feet and her hair in a messy ponytail.
“Merry Christmas.”
It was incredibly awkward and emotionally charged. Shelley took a step back and murmured, “I’ll just go start breakfast,” while Tori and Jeremy stared at each other for a long, painful moment.
“You look wonderful,” he said, his voice soft, and she wanted to believe him so badly it hurt.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to ask for your forgiveness.” He stepped forward but only to the edge of the mat; a film of snow was on his shoes. She went to him instead, not necessarily for intimacy but more for privacy. Her mother’s house wasn’t large, and conversations were easily overheard. She laughed a little as Shelley made an inordinate amount of noise with frying pans.
“You look like your mom,” he said gently. “She frowns like you, too. Told me I’d better get it right this time.”
Tori’s cheeks heated. “Mom doesn’t mince words.”
“Neither does her daughter. And I’ve recently discovered that both of you are pretty much right.”
She didn’t want to hope. But it was Christmas. And he looked so handsome in perfectly fitted jeans and his peacoat, his hair slightly mussed and his gray eyes focused on her so intently.
His gaze swept down to her belly and back up. “You’re feeling okay?”
She nodded, her throat tightening. “Yeah, we’re both okay. The baby’s been moving around a lot.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah.”
“Tori—” His voice broke off, and then he took a breath and squared his shoulders. “I went to see my mother. And I told her what I should have told her the night of the party. I told her that I love you, and I love this baby, and that I want to do right by both of you. And I owe you such a huge apology, Tori. I never showed my emotions. Not in that house, not with any of my relationships, because every time I did I got punished for it. But you invited me to. You gave me a safe place with no judgment and I used that gift to hurt you. I’m so sorry, Tori. More than you know.”
She stood there dumbly, not knowing what to say or do. It scared her how much she wanted to believe him. She’d had time to think over the past several days, and really look at what had happened. He’d hurt her terribly at the party, while she’d still been stinging from his mother’s cold reception. And she’d felt incredibly out of her depth. And no, he hadn’t told her that he loved her, but he had tried to explain and she hadn’t let him.
Because she, too, was scared. And she’d run.
“You love me?” she asked. “And the baby? Not just so that we won’t be in separate countries or living in separate homes?”
He swallowed. “I loved this baby from the moment I saw that picture on the ultrasound machine. And I think I loved you all along. But Tori, your family is here. Your job is here. I won’t ask you to leave that behind, not if you don’t want to.”
“And I will stay here, and you’ll stay...”
His gray eyes softened. “In New York. We’ll work this out on your terms, Tori. I can’t force you to forgive me, or love me. But you’re going to be a wonderful mother, and I think the best way for me to be a good dad is to make sure you’re happy.”
Her eyes stung as tears sprang into them. “But you said you love me.”
He nodded, and his eyes were bright, too. “I do. Enough to let you go, if that’s what you want.”
She caught her breath, and it sounded almost like a sob, but she wouldn’t let that happen. She wouldn’t cry today. “What if that’s not what I want?”
The air between them stilled. “Then come over here and put me out of my misery.”
She took three halting steps and then threw herself into his arms. His tightened around her, holding her close, the baby sandwiched between them. “You feel good,” he whispered in her ear. “I was sure you’d tell me to walk out. Thank you for not doing that.”
/> She nodded against his coat and sniffed. “It’s partly my fault, too. I was overwhelmed and feeling like someone’s poor cousin, and I wanted you to stand up for me. When you didn’t... I just wanted to go home, where it was familiar. I used your mistake as an excuse, rather than talking it out. And I ran away.”