Defend

“Hey, Jamie,” he answers.

“Hey, can I park at your house while I run?”

There’s a slight pause. “You’re running at this hour?”

“I’m about to, yeah. So...do you mind if I use your driveway?”

“No, come on.”

We hang up and I drive over. What I don’t expect is to find Brent waiting on his porch steps for me. He looks like he’s ready to run. I don’t want that. My run is completely different than his. I don’t want him along for this.

“What are you doing?” I ask when he reaches me once I’m out of the car.

“Jamie, it’s a quarter after ten. I’m not letting you run alone.”

“You can’t come.”

“Why not?”

I sigh. “I don’t run like you. I got a call from my mother and I need to run it off, okay?” Because I don’t want to talk about it and running is the only way to stomp that urge to eat my feelings. Brent doesn’t look swayed. “Fine. But I warned you.”

While I walk down the driveway, I put in my earbuds and turn on my running playlist. I’m all set by the time we reach the sidewalk and that’s when I take off running. Thanks to the streetlights, things are fairly well-lit. I focus on running, checking for cars before I cross the streets, and shoving all the negative emotions into the bottle where they should be until I’m ready to deal with it.

I don’t need to think about why my sister is so freaking special and worthy of yet another birthday party. Or why she’s the favorite. Or why I’m constantly failing and disappointing my parents. Cram, cram, cram those thoughts away. I don’t need to wish they were back to being Average Joes. How the reason my family probably dislikes me is because when my parents came into some money, it changed them and I didn’t change with them.

I slow into a jog, my lungs burning with a need to breathe in more air. All I have to do is survive this last semester of college, find a full-time job, and then I’ll be free of them. I just need to remember my plan. Stay in Raleigh, or move further away, find a job, and avoid my family. Surely I can survive until then.

My pace increases again. I remind myself I’m strong. I used to binge-eat through my stress and negative emotions. My self-esteem plummeted entirely by Christmas once my mom practically slapped me in the face with a lecture about being overweight. If I can overcome that, I can hang tight until I can get away from them.

I come to a stop because I’ve reached a dead end. With my hands propped on my hips, I turn around. My heart startles for a moment at the sight of Brent; I forgot he was running with me. I pause my music, aware of him shaking his head and eyeing me like I’m a little crazy.

“What?” I finally ask.

“Do you have any idea where we are? Or how we got here?”

I glance around. “No and no.”

He shakes his head. “I’m glad I came because you don’t pay attention when you run. Do you feel better?”

A shrug seems like the best, most honest answer. Before I know what’s happening, Brent steps forward and hugs me. My mind and body are stunned by his action, my arms hang limply by my sides while I stare at a house behind him. The heat from his body warms mine. His scent lingers in the air. I slowly relax and lift my arms to hug him back.

“You look like you could use a hug,” he says. “You could also talk to me if you wanted. Just another option instead of running yourself ragged.”

“Thanks. Talking won’t change anything, though, so what’s the point?”

Brent leans back with his hands on my shoulders. “It might make you feel better.”

“More than running?” I ask skeptically.

“You probably wouldn’t be so tired afterward.”

“Ah, but that’s one of the best parts.”

He watches me for a moment before sliding his hands down my arms and taking one of my hands. “Let’s walk back.” I’d rather run, but I’m already tired from however far we’ve run so far, so I don’t object. “You know,” he says after a while, “if I wasn’t running almost right next to you, people would probably think I was chasing you.”

I laugh. “Well, at least you know now that you can keep up with me.”

Brent smiles and chuckles a little. “I wasn’t worried about that, Jamie.” His phone rings in his pocket and he fishes it out. “Sorry. It’s Gregory. Do you mind?”