“You should,” Brent agrees, pulling me into his arms. “Now that I have you all relaxed and you like me even more, there’s something that’s been bugging you and I want you to tell me what it is. Maybe I can help.”
My sigh is loud and long. “Brent, there’s nothing to be done.”
“Tell me,” he insists.
“Are you going to annoy me about this until I do?”
“Yes. I think you need to talk about whatever it is.”
Well, now what?
Brent runs his knuckles up and down my arm. “I remember you said it was very personal, and I’m still insisting, but take all the time you need.”
It takes me about a minute to gather up the courage to tell Brent what I’ve only told one other guy. “I can never have children.”
Brent immediately sits up and looks down at me with regret. “I am so sorry, Jamie. I didn’t realize I was making you tell me something like that.”
I hold up my hand. “It’s fine. I’ve known for years.”
He lies back down. “Do you know why then?”
“This isn’t post-sex pillow talk, you know.” I glance over at him with a raised brow.
“You really don’t have to tell me. I feel bad about pushing you.”
“It’s too late now. You asked. You’ll come to regret it, I’m sure.” I take a deep breath and push through before I have to explain what I mean. “Long story short, my period never came, my mother took me to the doctor, and it turns out I was born without a uterus. Therefore, no kids for me.”
“That’s why you seemed so certain,” he says quietly.
“Yes. I’ve never really wanted kids, so it was sort of a relief to hear I didn’t have to worry about that. But then, I had to wonder if there was something else wrong with me to feel relief. I struggle with that more than anything else.”
“If you’ve known for so long, what’s bothering you now?”
I roll my eyes. “My sister is pregnant and my mother thinks it should cause me to have a breakdown or to change my mind about kids because I could go through a surrogate or adopt, but I don’t want either. I’ve told her I’m fine. It did take me by surprise at first, but once my thoughts settled, I realized I was indeed fine. She doesn’t believe me and tried to set me up with a therapist I saw when
I was a teenager. If I could get her to leave me alone, my problem will be solved.”
“But you are okay with it?”
“Yes!” I sigh in exasperation. “I struggle more with the fact that everyone still wants me to want kids, regardless. It’s a sore subject altogether, but I’m perfectly happy for my sister. I just want my mother off my back. So, see? You can’t help me.”
He smiles. “Tell her you’re dating someone and too distracted by his good looks to see a therapist or think about your sister being pregnant. There. I helped.”
I can’t help but give him a smile of my own. “You’re such a good man, Brent.” He really is. I hope I can keep him around for a long, long time.
It’s a great morning. We wake up, spend a little time in bed, have breakfast, and now we’re lying on the couch with something playing on TV. I’m not paying attention because I can’t stop kissing Jamie. She’s below me with her head angled toward the TV, as if she’s actually watching. My arms brace on either side of her shoulders while my knees are on either side of her hips.
Feather-light kisses of mine drop down on her temple, her cheek, and the corner of her mouth. Since she seems to be ignoring me well enough after about five minutes of me placing kisses in various spots, I try a new tactic. One hand slips underneath her shirt and I rest my mouth where her neck curves into her shoulder. And then I give her a raspberry.
Jamie laughs and tries to push me away. “Brent! I’m trying to watch TV.”
I lift my head to glance at the TV and then laugh. “You’re watching cartoons!”
“I changed it there to see if you’d notice and you obviously didn’t.” The remote is in her hand and she switches it back to the comedy show she was watching before.
My hand inches higher up her stomach. “Do you seriously want to watch TV?”
She smiles and glances back at the TV. “You may continue.”