Breakaway (Penalty Kill 1)

“I know you’re hurting. I wouldn’t do that to you.” He hugs me tighter. My brother knows me better than anyone. He knows that my heart is broken.

“Take me home,” I choke out.

Chapter Seventeen

Levi

Seeing the hurt and betrayal in Presley’s eyes brought forth a pain I’ve never felt before. A pain so staggering, I wanted nothing more than to claw my own heart out just to make it stop. Each beat hammered in my chest, sending paralyzing jolts throughout me, torturing me for every second Presley is hurting and knowing I won’t ever be able to get her back.

I’m still mad as fuck at Nichols, but I’ll finish him later. I have to fix things with Presley. Part of me thinks I should give her time to calm down. Part of me can’t stand not going over there right this minute. So I get in my car and drive over to her apartment building. I knock and knock.

“Presley, let me in. Please.”

After about thirty minutes, I conclude she isn’t home because if she was, she would have told me to leave by now. Where is she? If Marley didn’t take her home, then that means McCarthy probably picked her up. My shoulders sag with defeat. I should head home, but I want to be here when she comes back. I sit on the ground and hug my jacket closer. All I can think about is what am I going to do. I need to explain everything. Start to finish.

She isn’t going to want me after this, and I don’t blame her. I’ll have to learn how to live with that devastating fact. Presley isn’t mine any longer. An ache pierces my soul at the thought. The only thing I want is to tell her why. She’ll want to know, right? Either way, I have to tell her how this mess started, and I’m sorry I am an arrogant, selfish, careless ass. I want to tell her how much I regret the reason I started seeing her, but I also want to tell her how much I love her. Hopefully, I can get enough time to do that much.

I text Presley a one worded text saying I’m sorry. It’s not nearly enough, but it’s all I can do right now. I can only hope that she’ll remember I love her. She probably thinks that’s a lie now too. Oh, god, I fucked up. And I have nothing but thinking to do while I sit out here in the freezing cold. My body starts to feel numb, so I go sit in my car for a few minutes to warm up. I’m not parked in the usual lot, but I have a good view of the building. I’m not in the car five minutes when I see Presley walking alone.

I cut my car off, get out and run after her as she starts up the stairs. She hears me coming and after she looks over her shoulders, Presley runs up the steps. She manages to get into her apartment and she slams the door in my face, just as I reach it.

“Presley,” I beg. “Please.”

“Go away,” she yells.

I lean my forehead against her door. “I love you,” I say softly because I don’t know what else to say.

“Go fuck yourself, Levi!”

Sighing, I return to my seat on the floor. Faintly, I can hear her moving around on the other side before everything falls silent. She must have gone to bed. I’m proven wrong when I hear her unlock the deadbolt.

“I’m still here.” The lock clicks back into place quickly. Maybe it’s my imagination, but I’m sure I hear her slide down the door to sit on the floor, little gasps of air escaping as she cries tears I poured myself. “I’m not going anywhere, Presley. Not until you let me talk to you and explain things.”

“Please go away, Levi.” Her voice is so fragile, broken, and I hate myself for doing this to her.

“I’m sorry, Presley. More than you can imagine. I meant what I said earlier. I love you and I’m so sorry for hurting you. I’m going to leave now.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “Bye, Smarty,” I whisper before I stand and walk away.

~ ~ ~

The week passes without a word from Presley. I sulk in my room for the most part and Andrew has been staying out of my path when he’s here. I’ve been on edge and it shows not only in my schoolwork, but in my game as well. Presley has been on my mind so much, I haven’t been able to focus on anything else. Too many times, I have gone to her contact, tempted to call her, but I never do. She invades my dreams by haunting me with her laugh, killing me with her smile, and leaving me wishing I never went to sleep to start with.

Anytime I get in my car, I want to drive over there and gather her in my arms. If she will give me a chance, I would spend the rest of my life making up for what I’ve done. Especially with how her father is, Presley deserves to know she’s wanted for exactly who she is. I didn’t do that, but I want to do that for her. She’s not going to allow me to do that though. At least not right now. Should I leave her be and wait until she’s ready? What if that moment never comes and I spend the rest of my life without her?

Needing someone besides Gavin to talk to and finishe

d with my classes for today, I drive to my dad’s. He knows I’m coming this time, and I’m hating that I’m going to prove just what a disappointment I am. I park behind my dad’s vehicle and head inside.

“Pops?”

“In the kitchen, son.” He’s reading a newspaper at the table and sits it down when I sit. “What happened?” His words hold nothing but love for his son and wanting to help in whatever way he can.

I pick at the table and avoid his eyes. “It’s over with Presley. I told you it was complicated, remember?” I glance at him and he nods. “And I told you who her brother was? Trevor McCarthy from high school?” He nods again.

“My memory is fine, Levi. What happened with Presley?” he questions gently.

“When I first started seeing her, it was because I wanted to get back at McCarthy.”

Dad’s eyes fill with the failure of his only child. “Levi, son,why?”