“Things were worse than I said. Apparently, I haven’t been her husband because I’ve been caught up in my career and it just fell apart.” I take a deep breath. “She said he told her that she was beautiful and that was all she needed to hear, pretty much, because I hadn’t said it. Today, I was going to show her that she was first again, and then this shit happens. I don’t want to go back home. I don’t want to see her, Ash. I was so fucking close to deciding that if my job was that much of a legitimate threat to our marriage, I would play the rest of the season and be done when my contract runs out. I don’t even know that I’ll get another contract if we don’t make it to playoffs again.” I shake my hea
d. “I was going to give it all up for her if I needed to. And now…” I can’t bring myself to say it again.
“Wow. I don’t know why you’ve surprised me by saying that, but you have.”
“I’ve always joked that I’m getting paid to do something I have fun doing. I don’t need to play, but I need Avery. Or I did. I don’t know anymore. I’d never do this to her, and I never thought she would do this to me. How am I supposed to forgive her for this?”
Ashton takes a deep breath. “I don’t know, Jax. That’s something you’re going to have to figure out, but you don’t have to do that all in one night. Where are you now?”
“Just driving.”
“Are you going back home tonight?”
The thought of having to face Avery makes my stomach roll. I never thought there would be a day when I would dread seeing my wife. Yet, here I am. “No.”
Chapter Six
Avery
I sob harder, watching Jax walk out the door. I feel as if my soul is being ripped from me. I don’t know how else to explain it.
This is it.
This is how my marriage will end. Jax will never forgive me. He’ll never be able to look at me again.
I pick myself up off the floor where I collapsed and flop onto the couch. The house is eerily quiet, except for my sobs.
He spent all evening with me. He was trying to make it up to me, and how did I repay him? By telling him the one thing no married man wants to hear.
My heading is pounding from all my crying. My face feels grimy, and I’m so tired. However, I’m worried about Jax. I pick up my purse and grab my phone. There are several texts from Jasmine, but nothing from Jax. I want to call him. I want to hear him say that he’s mad, but it’s going to be okay. I want my husband.
I close my eyes as my subconscious kicks me in the ass. I should have thought about that before I fucked the first guy that said I was pretty. What kind of person am I? Yes, I was mad at Jax, but I should have been smarter. I shouldn’t have left that bar with Rob, or had sex with him.
I wish I could wake up from this nightmare I’ve created for Jax and myself. My heart leaps when I hear my phone ring and I see Jax’s name on the display.
“Jax, I’m–”
“Stop.” His voice is cold and distant. “I don’t want to hear it. I’m staying in a hotel tonight. I’d prefer you not be there when I come by in the morning.”
“Jax, you can sleep–”
He cuts me off. “Do you really think I want to be in bed with you when you fucked some guy less than twenty-four hours ago?”
I gasp at his tone and the hurt in his voice. I can hear him breathing and I know that he’s mad. He’s madder than he would be fighting another player on the ice. After another second or two of silence, he ends the call without another word to me.
What have I done?
~ ~ ~
I stare at the alarm clock as it goes off. I’ve had no sleep. I can’t rest knowing Jax is across town in a hotel. I roll out of the bed and head to the shower. The hot water blasts me, and the tears begin to flow again. When I’m done, I wrap myself tightly in my robe and go back into the bedroom to get dressed.
Jax is coming out of our walk-in closet. He cuts me a quick, mean look, making me drop my head. He’s angry because I’m still here.
“Um, don’t forget you have that promotional shoot after practice,” I tell him. “Are you coming home tonight?”
Jax doesn’t say anything. I look up at him, and his arms are crossed. After a moment, he walks past me into the bathroom and shuts the door. I try to not feel like I’m being stabbed in the heart repeatedly, but that’s how it feels. Every time he looks at me, he shows me what a terrible person I am, and he’s right. It’s how I should feel because I’ve ruined our lives and our marriage.
I quickly dress, flip my hair up into a tight bun, and rush out of the bedroom. I go into the kitchen, and I know that I should eat something, but I can’t right now. I make myself a cup of coffee, and one for Jax, too. I try to take a sip, but even the smell makes my stomach turn. Jax walks in, freshly showered, and ready for his day.