In the morning, when he’s at practice, I run over to the house. It’s different walking in here. It almost doesn’t feel like my home anymore. I go up to the bedroom and pack a suitcase. I only take stuff I purchased from working. I leave all the dresses, name brand shoes, the jewelry, and anything else Jax’s money bought. I do take my toothbrush though. I even leave the white dress I purchased for last night.
I go back to Regina’s and realize that this is it. My marriage is over and I need to accept it. I fought as hard as I could, but there’s no more fight in me. I can’t cry anymore. I can’t.
I open Regina’s laptop and search for divorce lawyers. I find one who will be able to see me today and I go over. After explaining everything to him, Mr. Piper looks at me, confused.
“You have no prenup. Mr. Godwin is worth over thirty million dollars.”
“I want my car, and that’s it. Here is the cash for your retainer.” I had taken the money from my savings account for this.
“Okay.” He doesn’t argue. “I can have him served in three days.”
I gasp. Jax’s is going to find out I want a divorce on our anniversary.
Chapter Fifteen
Jax
The first night Avery stayed at her sister’s instead of here at home, I was relieved. The anger was combustible, and she was in the direct line of fire. The more she talked and the longer she stood in the same room with me, the angrier I got, so I was happy she left. I couldn’t decide who I was pissed at more, her or him. My skin still crawls at the memory of shaking that bastard’s hand and being nice to him. I showered with the water on the hottest setting I could stand, trying to scrub away how filthy I felt. My sleep was restless as I tossed and turned, plagued with nightmares of watching my wife have sex with the guy who was once nameless and faceless to me and isn’t anymore.
The second night, it didn’t feel right being in the house without her. Everything I said to her replayed in my mind, and I realized I was more pissed at him than her. Don’t get me wrong, I was furious with her, but he’d had the audacity to walk up to us, look at Avery so openly in front of me, and practically gloat about sleeping with my wife. Just thinking about it again makes me wish I had hit him harder.
Once I calmed down, I knew I needed to make a decision. One of two things needs to happen. Either I walk away and deal with the scars she’s left on me, or I stay, remember how things were in the beginning, and find a way to save my marriage. She is right. We had been doing well, slowly working our way back, and finally dealing with the problems we had before the cheating. He shows up unexpectedly and I take my anger out on her. I was purely hateful to her and I feel guilty.
I don’t know if I’ll ever completely trust her again, if I’ll feel comfortable when she goes on a trip without me, or if I’ll ever be able to walk into another casino without thinking of what happened. But Avery’s still my wife, I still love her, and I’m not proud of how I treated her. I’m
not ready to let things end between us.
I haven’t reached out to her though. Not yet, anyway. I’m going to call her after practice. I can’t not talk to her, especially not today. There isn’t a lot I can do on the day of our anniversary with everything that has happened, but I can call her, apologize for what I said, and get her back at the house.
This morning, I clearly understood what Avery said the weekend my parents came. She was tired of crying, and I’m tired of being angry. I want my wife back. I just need to call her.
There’s only about five minutes of practice left when I’m called over to the bench. There’s a lady I’ve never seen before standing over there, holding a large envelope.
“Jax Godwin?”
“Yes.” I don’t know why she’s asking, almost everyone knows me here.
“You’ve been served. Have a nice day.”
What? I glance at the contents of the envelope in my hands. Avery wants a divorce? I look around and remember I’m not alone. I was just served divorce papers during practice and the woman was crazy enough to tell me to have a nice day.
“I think we’re done for today,” Coach says, thankfully.
As I head to the locker room to change, I keep eyeing the envelope. There has to be a mistake, right? My nerves are on edge as I hurry to my car, finally pulling the contents from the envelope. My eyes scan the documents. Not a mistake. Avery sought out a lawyer, filed for a divorce, and all she wants is her car. I stare at the papers for the longest time. The best response I can come up with is what the hell?
Finally, I toss them into the passenger seat and robotically drive home. To the home that is apparently going to be all mine. With the laptop I can’t work, that has the passwords I don’t know, that has access to my bank accounts I don’t manage. To the home with a now too-big kitchen, too many extra bedrooms, and a too-big master bedroom and bathroom with his and her sinks. And it’s all mine because Avery doesn’t want any of it.
If she divorces me and only takes her car, where is she going to live? With Regina? We have a joint bank account with her hard-earned money in it, and she doesn’t want that? We don’t have a prenup and she’s refusing to take what’s hers? What is she going to do? Try to get her job back? What the hell was she thinking refusing to take anything but her car?
What the hell was she thinking when she asked for a divorce?
She can’t do that, and definitely not like it’s written up right now. She’ll be homeless and unemployed with no money to her name. Why doesn’t she want the money? Her money? Our money? She will need it.
My actions are automatic as I waste the rest of the day thinking about this, while getting ready for my game tonight, and then during the game. I can’t stop thinking about it. My heart has been beating too fast since the lady served me. My hands have been trembling with the craziness of what those paper outline. I keep coming back to one question over and over again.
Why would she want a divorce?
I need to talk to her first. She can’t just divorce me without talking to me. Once the game is over, I’ll go to Regina’s house. I keep glancing up to check the numbers on the jumbotron. This has to be the longest game of my life. We’re playing the Nebraska Bucks and things have been extra rough, it seems. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve hit the boards and the first period just ended.