“Fine. Let’s go to your bedroom.” I swing my legs to the side of the bed, and like a teenager, stomp over to our bedroom. I jump into the bed, sitting up against the he
adboard.
Jax shuts the door, and carefully climbs into bed, staring at me.
“Talk,” I order him. This is his show.
He frowns at me. “Why are you trying to distance yourself from this? This is our stuff.”
“Jax, on our third date you said you loved me. On our fifth wedding anniversary, I had you served with divorce papers. Don’t you find this very strange?”
Sometimes Jax Godwin frustrates me so much. Doesn’t he see what a crazy, mixed up relationship we have?
“Yes because I don’t know why the hell you did it. I mean, I do, but I don’t understand it. I don’t want a divorce, Avery.”
I throw my hands up. “I did it for us. That’s why. I wanted you to break free of everything that I did that was keeping you down. I mean, shit, you got hurt because of me. You called me a whore, and God only knows what you didn’t say. You lied to your parents by pretending we were this perfect couple. Look what I’ve done to you. And let’s not forget the biggest thing: I cheated on you!” I raise my voice at him, hoping that he starts hearing what I’m trying to say.
“Our marriage was bad long before that. It didn’t collapse all of a sudden because of that. I got hurt because I wasn’t paying attention and I could get hurt at any time. It’s part of my job. I don’t really think you’re a whore. We lied to my parents, sure, but we don’t need everyone to know our marriage problems. Look at what you’re doing to yourself, Avery. You’re giving up. Don’t do that to us.” He’s getting upset because I am doing just that, but it’s for him.
I need to try to use a different tactic. “Why did you ask me to marry you?” He looks at me strangely. “It’s a serious question. Why?”
Without any hesitation in his voice, he says, “Because I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. That hasn’t changed.”
“So, can you, Jax Godwin, say at this very moment that you still feel the exact same way as you did five years ago? Can you really say that to me?”
“Yes. Without a doubt. You married me for the same reasons, right? Can you still say you feel the same as you did five years ago? Can you, Avery?”
I didn’t expect him to toss that question back at me. I thought I would have been able to twist this around, but I’m wrong. “I wasn’t the one that was cheated on. I am the cheater. I can’t believe you’re truly sitting here saying this. It’s like I’m in a dream.” I rub my temples.
“Then wake up and realize it’s real. None of what you just said was an answer to my question either.”
Damn, he caught that. “Jax, you know I only married you because you’re great in bed,” I say in a joking tone. I take a deep breath and give up fighting with him. I mean, what’s the point? He’ll just keep on. “And because you’re my soul mate. Damn, nothing has changed for me, either. It hasn’t.”
He picks up the divorce papers on his nightstand and holds them out to me. “Then tear them up.” He gives me a half smile. “I can’t really do it myself.” He nods at his sling.
“Under one condition, and I mean it.”
“Anything.”
“We start over again. I don’t want to dive into the deep end of the pool and in a week, you realize that this was a mistake. I mean it; we take this slow. Only then, will I rip these up.”
“Okay. I can do that because you and me, Avery, we have never been a mistake.”
I feel the tears bubbling up behind my eyes. “Damn it, Jax. No one would ever believe that you were a poet, you tough hockey player.”
Jax gives me the smile I fell in love with. “I only need you to believe it.”
I take the papers and give him a small smile.
Chapter Seventeen
Jax
Slow has never really existed in our relationship. We haven’t been slow since the day we met, but if that’s what she wants, then I can do it. Avery is holding the divorce papers, and she’s wearing a small smile. She looks down at them before holding them up sideways and ripping them in half. She puts them together and then does it again.
When Avery turns to me for my reaction, I’m grinning from ear to ear. “What happened to going slow first?”
“Oh, we’re still going to do that, Jax.”