I sit on the office couch and look at the Playbill of Grease. It’s one of my favorites to go and see. Each actor and actress had signed it. I look at the few pictures of me backstage with the same performers who were just on the stage, singing and dancing. And there’s Jax with me. I know how much he hates musicals. Give him an action movie any day of the week, and he’ll be happy. However, he goes with me anytime I asked him to, just like a good husband would.
Now, look at him. He’s fighting for our marriage, and I don’t know if I can let him. What happens if we ever see Rob again? I mean, I know Vegas isn’t small, but what were the odds we’d see him that night?
I shake my head, looking through the box. The dried flowers, the ticket stubs, the puck where he scored the first time with me in the stands. All these memories, all these small experiences, made us... well... us.
We did everything fast. He never stops for a second, and I’m the same way.
Am I?
Am I that girl that said yes to marriage after six weeks of dating?
Am I that twenty-one year old who fell in love with a guy after four dates?
No. I’m the wife of a man I loved the second I saw him at the nurse’s station with six sandwiches. I love that guy.
Regina’s words bounce in my head. Do I have one more round left in me? Maybe I do. But, I don’t want to go too fast. What if he changes his mind? I don’t think I can take that, again.
I close the box and put it away. I log on to the laptop and find a musical that has good reviews, and tickets are still available. I call Jax’s favorite steakhouse and make a reservation.
Jax is in the living room, and I tell him that we need to get ready, because we’re going out soon. He gives me the smile that still makes my knees weak, and we both get ready. I have to help Jax a little bit with his shirt and tie, but he gets it done.
I drive since he is still in a sling, and there’s a smile on his face when I pull up to the valet at the restaurant.
“How am I going to cut a steak, Avery?”
I tilt my head not sure what he means. Then I remember that he’s in a sling. “I’ll do it for you.” I shrug. “Or you can pick it pick it up with one hand and eat it like a barbarian?”
He takes my hand as we walk in. “You called me that one other time. Do you remember?”
I try to remember when I did that, and I gasp. It was the night I stayed all night at his crappy apartment. He had thrown me over his shoulder and tossed me on the bed. “I’d forgotten that.” I smile at the memory.
We’re seated right away, and of course, Jax orders a massive steak. Our conversation is light. It’s mainly about Reed, the drum set, and how Brooke isn’t pleased with us.
I know that I shouldn’t bring up the topic, but I want to know where he stands on it now.
“Jax, this isn’t probably the best time to talk about this, but have you thought about us and kids? I mean, I know that we said we would wait, but do you see a future like that?”
“Of course, I do. I don’t know when, but yeah, I see it. Do you?”
“I did before all this happened.” I wave my hand in between us. “I know I shouldn’t be thinking about it now, but I see how you are with Reed, and I was wondering. I think you’d make a great father.”
“You’d be a wonderful mother, Avery.” He pauses for a second before asking, “You don’t see it anymore?”
I look into his dark brown eyes, and I see a hint of sadness in them. I take a deep breath and know that I have to be honest with him. “I don’t know anymore, Jax. I want to work on us first and make sure we make it. You know how I feel about broken homes with kids. I can’t do that to my, or our, child. I don’t want them growing up like Regina and I did. It’s too sad. I’d always hoped that it would be more like your parents. You know, they’ve been married forever, they’re always happy, that sort of life.”
“I want all of those things, too. When my parents came to visit, I kept thinking about that. How happy they always are after all this time. I want that too, with you.” He reaches for my hand.
“I know that. I do. I was just wondering.” I think for a second, trying to keep our conversation open, and keep us talking about our lives. “I have been meaning to say something to you, and please don’t look at me like I’m crazy because I think you forgot, too, but,” I clear my throat and sit taller in my chair. “I’m sorry I gave you divorce papers on our anniversary.”
Jax gives me a small smile. “It wasn’t exactly how I planned our fifth anniversary, but it’s not like you purposely picked that day.”
“I promise I didn’t. But,” I smile back at him. “What would you have planned? I mean, if all this hadn’t happened.”
“I would have sent you flowers, taken you to your favorite restaurant, and then surprised you with a long trip this summer to anywhere in the world you wanted to go.”
“Even to New York City to see several musicals?” I tease him.
He laughs harder as our food arrives. I do cut his food for him since he’s unable. Jax leans in close to my ear. “Even to New York City. Even if you wanted to see one every single day we were there.”