“Why didn’t you tell me? I told you to stay in the dressing room for the week because I know you’re stubborn and want to do things on your own, but I never, ever would have put you on the street. You know me better than that.” Big Mike’s voice is a little softer and less harsh.
“I can take care of myself.”
“No one takes care of themselves all the time, Jade. Is that why you went to Rick?”
I shake my head. “I didn’t go to Rick, I swear. He came to me and he told me about Mom owing him money and then he told me about his escort services and…” I shrug instead of finishing my sentence.
“This isn’t a big club and you won’t make as much as escorting, but Rick doesn’t take care of his girls. You know this, Jade. Look at your mom. I can’t offer much, but I won’t let anything happen to you.”
I give Mike a small smile. I know he’s telling the truth. Several tim
es, he has bailed me out of trouble with men. When I was on stage, he would always protect us girls and always made sure we were okay. Maybe if I had told him more about my life and the real issues that I had, he would have helped me more. I know he would have.
“Are you really not going back to Valo because of some dumb shit your mom said?”
“You know she’s right.”
“No, I don’t. Our fate isn’t dictated by our parents. We make it. Plain and simple.”
I giggle. “You get that quote off of a cereal box?”
“Maybe.” He winks without cracking a smile. “Jade, your mother is a crack head whose job is being a prostitute. I’m not going to apologize for the harshness, but it’s true and you know it. And then, look at you. You’re in school and have a great guy who cares about you.”
“Had,” I correct him. “I had a great guy.” Valo isn’t mine anymore. I saw the look in his eyes the last time we talked. He isn’t mine.
“No, you have a great guy. No man is going to come all the way down here, hand a stranger a wad of cash, and pay off another person’s debt unless they truly love them.”
There it is.
That word.
Love.
My stomach drops when I remember Valo telling me he loved me. I’ve never felt heartbreak until that moment. Valo loved me. I can’t love him back though. It would ruin him if I did. My life is tainted and I can’t infect his.
I thought long and hard that maybe I could be the doting girlfriend. That I could pretend like I did when I was at Love Spa, but I know it’s wrong and I can’t do that to him. Valo thinks that he loves me, but I don’t know if it’s true.
Who am I kidding?
Valo’s eyes said it all to me the other day. He loves me and I had already tainted him.
“I need to go.” I turn to leave, but Big Mike blocks my path.
“I’m going to give you a piece of advice, Jade, and you need to listen to me.”
I stare up at him
“There is something worse in life than death, and that’s regret. Now, if you walk out that door and go to this job instead of going to that hockey player’s house, then you’ll regret it. He loves you. I saw it in his eyes.”
I swallow back the lump in my throat. I can’t think about this shit right now. I told Rick I would do this job. He told me Big Mike paid Mom’s debt and it was one of the reasons I came over here.
“Here,” Big Mike hands me an envelope. “Take this to him. It’s what’s left over from the money he gave me.”
I take it and slip it into my purse.
“Jade, don’t go tonight. I’m telling you to go to Valo’s house,” he pleads with me.
I don’t know what to do. I want Valo, but I can’t be with him. I need money to survive, but I’m Jade Patterson. It’s always been me on my own.