You and Me Forever (Oh Captain, My Captain 6)

I nod toward Chris and Luca practically drags me away from the crowd and into an empty hallway. “Why did I need to excuse myself?” I growl at him.

“Because you’re a ‘beautiful and smart woman’ who needs to socialize with other people.” I can see it in his eyes. I know what's going on right now.

“Seriously,” I mumble and roll my eyes. “You don’t have to be jealous. This is work for me.”

“Then it’s probably unprofessional of him to make that comment. Besides, did you really want to keep talking to him?” He glares at me.

“Luca, sometimes I think you forget that I’ve been with you and only you for ten years. I’ve never even wanted to be with another man but you. So, knock off your shit. Fuck, you’re acting as hormonal as I am.” I’m trying to keep my voice down, but it’s not working out very well.

“I’m not acting any different than I have in the past ten years, but fine. You make your rounds and I’ll go hang out at the bar. I think some of the guys are over there.” He gives me a small smile and turns to walk away from me.

“Wait,” I command him. He looks back at me and I grab the lapels of his jacket and pull him toward me. I kiss him hard. “You drive me insane and I know we’re both an emotional mess right now, but please don’t ever think there’s anyone else but you. It’s you and me forever. Now, go rub it in those captains faces that you won the cup this year.”

Luca gives me a small chuckle and gives me a soft kiss. “Don’t get distracted by other Russians walking around here. I know how you like them.”

“Well, there is something about them, but like I said before, it’s you and me, and you’re my stubborn Russian.” I wink at him and we head back into the party.

Chapter Twenty

Luca

I’ve never been more relieved to see training camp start. Even though Hadley has been working and is busy with the start of her new job, she’s driving me insane more often than not. Hockey and my work will be a sight for sore eyes. This pregnancy is definitely pushing the boundaries of our relationship. But then, neither of us has been this stressed and overwhelmed at the same t

ime before. The baby isn’t even here yet and I’m about to lose my mind. At least at work, I can take a step away for a few hours.

Or so I thought.

“Are you ready for the baby, Luca? When is she due again?” James questions.

“December,” I answer.

“No offense, but I can’t see you as a dad,” Darryl adds. “Well, wait. I can. I feel like you’d be one of those dads who walks around looking crazed with spit up on his shirt and your hair is already a mess, so you’re halfway there,” he laughs.

“You can come to my house and take notes, if you want,” Andre tells me with a chuckle.

“You could go to those parenting classes and practice with a fake baby. I’m sure it’s exactly like the real thing,” James says sarcastically.

“Hey, you can learn a thing or two from them,” Andre defends. “Although, I will agree that it’s a hell of a lot easier than an actual baby.”

Darryl laughs and slaps my shoulder. “But I’m sure you’ll do just fine, Luca. You’ve been around kids before, right?”

“Not since I was a kid.”

“You’re screwed,” he jokes.

I knew that already. I didn’t need to hear it out of someone else’s mouth. “All of you can go fuck yourselves and stop standing around talking.” I walk off, knowing I was harsher than usual, but I don’t care. They’ll get over it quickly. A baby is not something to joke about and neither are my potential parenting skills, or lack there of.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how Hadley said she was scared and nervous because she doesn’t know shit about kids either. That is not a comfortable thought. We can’t both be scared, worried, and clueless.

Thankfully, the baby isn’t brought up again and I can focus on the tasks at hand. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready for this. I don’t like it. I suppose I should cross my fingers and hope I’ll be able to wing it. On the bright side, the nursery is complete. The baby has more clothes than she’ll ever wear, I’m sure, but at least I can say I’m prepared in that aspect.

When I get home, Hadley is still at work. My phone is nearly dead, so I head to our room for the charger. On the way back, I pause at the nursery. Part of me still can’t believe this is happening. Yet the evidence is right in front of me.

Lilac-painted walls, white furniture, a fully stocked changing table, a rocking chair because apparently that’s the only kind of chair you put in a nursery, and little decorations to match everything else. I attempt to picture myself in this room with our Valeria, hoping something has changed and I’m no longer like Darryl and unable to picture myself as a father.

Nope. Still nothing. Hadley, I can see. I went shopping with her once and I could see her excitement, her eagerness to meet our daughter. Then there’s me, still feeling kind of ‘eh’ about it. I mean, I am looking forward to it, but at the same time, I want to vomit from all the anxiety.

I’m so not ready for this.