“We didn’t know her name. Right now, she’s baby Zotov.” Dr. Jones gives me a small smile, sounding hopeful. “That sounds like a beautiful and strong name,” she adds as if by name alone, our little girl will be okay.
Dr. Jones leads me to another floor and down a few different hallways before we reach our destinat
ion. I change into a gown, wash my hands, and put on a mask before entering the NICU. My heart leaps into my throat when I see our baby. She’s so tiny and covered in tubes. I run my eyes over her, almost having a hard time believing she’s here. Dr. Jones repeats again how she can tell Valeria is a fighter.
“How long will she stay here? She’s doing good right now, right?” I ask quietly, never taking my eyes off of Valeria.
“Luca, I’m not going to lie to you. She’s going to be here for a long while. You won’t be going home with your baby anytime soon.” I don’t think Hadley will be happy to hear this. “But, yes, she’s doing as well as can be expected.”
“Will it be a long time before we’ll be able to hold her?” Part of me wants to hold her and tell her she’ll be okay because she’s strong. She has my sister’s name, so she may have my sister’s strength as well. I hope so.
“You can touch her. Maybe later on this week you can hold her. Right now, I want her to stay warm and rest.”
I watch her for a moment longer. She’s so fragile. I don’t want to touch her just yet. I need to see Hadley first. “Where’s Hadley?”
Dr. Jones once again leads me around until we reach Hadley’s room. The tension almost completely leaves my body when I see her, even though her eyes are closed. I walk over to her as the doctor leaves the room. I take her hand, intertwining our fingers. Once she’s feeling better, she’s going to hear one very long lecture about not being completely honest with the doctor and scaring the hell out of me. I should probably call my parents, but it’s too late in the night. I’ll call them tomorrow.
After about an hour or so, Hadley wakes up.
“Hey, baby. How are you feeling?”
“Luca?” She seems confused to see me. “Where am I? What’s going on?”
“You fainted at work and were bleeding, so they brought you to the hospital. Dr. Jones had to deliver the baby. You’re both okay. Let me go get her and she can explain everything to you better, okay?”
“No, Luca. What do you mean the baby is here?” She grabs her stomach. “Oh my God, is she okay? She can’t be. It’s too early. Oh my God, Luca.” Hadley begins to cry and I wipe the tears as they fall.
“Hadley, baby, I’ve seen her. I’ve seen Valeria. She’s okay,” I try to reassure her. “She’s in the NICU and she’s being a strong, little fighter. Don’t cry. She’s doing fine right now.”
“I need to see Dr. Jones. Please, Luca.” The tears won’t stop falling as she begs me.
“I’ll be right back.” I kiss her forehead before leaving to find Dr. Jones. A few minutes later, I return and Hadley is still upset and crying.
“What the fuck happened?”
“You told me you were have small pains. Were they worse throughout the day?” Dr. Jones asks.
“Yes, but I thought it was Braxton Hicks. I didn’t know. What about Valeria? I read in the books that some babies can survive being born this early.”
Dr. Jones nods. “Yes, Valeria has a high chance of survival. Like I told Luca, I can tell you all the bad stuff that could happen–”
Hadley cuts her off. “Like brain damage, physical disabilities, slow development.”
“Yes,” she begins, “and then you can have a strong healthy baby. Hadley, you were already measuring big and we had planned to take her early. I know this baby is a fighter and that she will survive just fine.”
“How long will she be here?”
“Well, if all goes well, she may be home by New Year’s.”
“That’s months away,” I say. “I know you said a long time, but...New Year’s?” Wow.
“That’s if it goes well. She could stay longer. It depends on how well she does. She has to heal and grow. You both need to remember that,” Dr. Jones reminds us.
I nod. “Right, she needs to be healthy and ready first. Thank you for all your help.”
“Of course. Get some rest, Hadley.”
When Dr. Jones leaves, I turn to Hadley and wipe away the last of her tears. “I’m glad you’re okay.” I kiss her softly. “Valeria will be fine,” I repeat.