The unexpected question nearly made her choke, but thankfully she managed to avoid that spectacle and met his gaze boldly, annoyed to see his brows lift, prompting her for an answer. She reached for her glass of wine and took a sip as expectancy stretched between them.
‘What makes you think I’m hiding from anything?’ She didn’t like the nervous wobble in her words. ‘I’m here, working.’
‘A beautiful woman like you shouldn’t be alone on New Year’s Eve and definitely not working. I can’t believe you do not have at least one admirer who wants to share this evening with you.’ His deliciously accented words made her stomach flutter and for one crazy moment she imagined he was that admirer, that he wanted to be with her, instead of being forced into her company.
‘I wanted to work tonight.’ Her matter-of-fact words came so fluidly it was as if she’d rehearsed them. She’d used that excuse again and again in recent weeks as the party invitations had arrived. There was just one person who’d seen through it. Vanessa.
He smiled, one of satisfaction, but it still made him look deliciously handsome. ‘You are hiding, then.’
What would he say if he knew the truth? Would it kill whatever hummed between them? She certainly hoped so, because she was finding it ever more difficult not to notice the way her body felt each time he looked at her.
‘Not exactly. My fiancé called off our wedding exactly a year ago today.’ The sharp words hurtled out. Just bringing Jason into her mind cooled the effect Xavier was having on her.
He sat back in his chair, his fingers slowly turning the stem of the wine glass. ‘So you thought that working this year was preferable to partying?’
‘Something like that.’ She wished she hadn’t begun this conversation. In a bid to quell the tension, which was loaded with passion, she’d already said too much. ‘I’ll get the next course.’
Before he could say anything else she left the room, as gracefully and quickly as her heels allowed. In the kitchen she dished up the venison casserole and croquette potatoes that the wintery weather had inspired and forced down the pain of Jason’s betrayal.
Footsteps alerted her to Xavier’s presence and she pretended to be busy with the food, not wanting to look at him and see the same pity on his face that her friends and family bestowed on her. Pity she didn’t deserve, not when ultimately it had been her fault the wedding hadn’t happened. She’d just followed through from being school friends to fulfilling everyone’s expectations of marriage. Jason had been the only constant in her life, but for him, at least, it hadn’t been enough.
She heard Xavier put down the starter plates, but couldn’t acknowledge him yet, keeping resolutely turned away. He stopped directly behind her and her breathing deepened as her almost bare back tingled from his nearness and she vehemently wished she hadn’t changed out of her jeans and jumper.
‘Can I offer help?’ The husky note of his voice, to her dismay, made her shiver visibly. ‘You are cold.’
‘A little,’ she lied, as she turned to face him, alarmed at how close he was. ‘You hired me to cater for this dinner party and should not be helping.’
She picked up the hot dish of the main course with her waitressing cloth and left the kitchen, desperate to get away from the heat he’d surrounded her with. But if she’d thought things would be easier as they sat at the table again, she had been wrong. Their polite exchanges were merely a smokescreen for something much bigger.
‘Your fiancé, he was a fool.’ Xavier finished his meal and placed his napkin on the table, intently watching every move she made.
‘You can’t say that. You don’t know anything about him.’ Instinctively she protected Jason. It hadn’t been entirely Jason’s fault. He’d only been reacting to her inability to show him love. When her father had died her mother had sought solace with a new man and she had felt abandoned. All she’d wanted had been to feel special and Jason had done that, first as a friend, then as her boyfriend, but never as her lover.
‘That may be so, but I do know he was a fool to let a woman like you go.’ A light smile lifted his lips and she found herself wondering what it would be like to be kissed by him. Instantly she dismissed the thought as totally unprofessional. It was so unlike her and guilt filled her for thinking it when the only man she’d kissed was Jason.
Again that item on her bucket list nudged to the forefront of her mind. It was so out of character for her that Vanessa had been shocked when she’d told her, but hadn’t let her forget the idea, adamant it was just what she needed. She’d reminded her of it earlier when she’d called her to say she was snowed in at the manor. Could this really be her chance to tick that off her list, to prove to herself she was over Jason, without getting her heart broken?