As we set up a campout on the living room floor, I can’t help but think that being okay is a shitty way to live the rest of your life when it has the potential to be so much more. It’s settling before giving complete happiness a chance. However, if that’s what Lex wants, then she can have it. Someone else could come along at some point for me and who knows, they might be able to make me happier than Lexie did.
Fat chance, but who knows.
Reed can be my focus and sole purpose in life. If I keep him my only priority, then I won’t have time to think about anyone else.
Right?
Wrong.
Thoughts of Lexie hit me first thing in the morning. Reed is asleep still, but somehow, he’s lying sideways and his feet are propped on my chest. I hold his ankles together with one hand and tickle his feet with the other. That wakes him up. He starts kicking and groaning, his sleepy-state demanding I stop, but it soon gives way to him giggling.
“Dad! Stop! I mean it!”
I laugh as he screams and sits up to push my hands away. “If you would eat all your vegetables like your mom wants, then you might be strong enough to stop me.”
“I eat my veggies!” he defends, his little fingers trying to rip my fingers away as he laughs harder. “Stop it, Dad!”
“Okay, okay.” I let go of his feet and he moves so quickly, I get the air knocked out of me as he jumps on me, an elbow jabbing me right in the ribs. Damn, that actually hurt. I easily grab him and pin his arms to his side as I sit up to get a better hold on him. “That’s enough of that. I’m going to let you go and if you try to attack me again, the tickle monster is coming after you.” I quickly tickle his sides to show him I mean business.
“Okay, stop!” I do and let him go. “What’s for breakfast? I’m starving. What are we going to do today? I want ice cream.”
“I’ll see what I have. You go get dressed. Jeans and a long-sleeve shirt because it’s cold out there today.”
He nods and heads to his room. I get up to go see what I have for breakfast. My phone rings, so I go back to get that. I sigh when I see the called ID.
“Hello, Brooke,” I answer.
“Care to explain last night? What the hell was that, Ashton?” If I had to guess, I’d say that she’s still just as pissed as when I left her on her doorstep last night. “Not only did you question me about Nate spending the night with our son in the house, you made him uncomfortable, and you took Reed in the middle of it all. I don’t care if you want him to stay with you, but a phone call would have been nice, and you sure as hell didn’t need to bring Nate into it.”
“Are you done?” I ask when she takes a breath. “Look,” I continue, not waiting for an answer, “I’m sorry I was a dick. I’ll call Nate and apologize too. I wasn’t expecting him to still be there, and well, you saw the game.” Leaning my forehead against the fridge, I take a deep breath, closing my eyes. “I’m in love with Lexie, Brooke. She doesn’t want a relationship or me anymore.” A half groan, half growl erupts from deep within my chest. “I miss her so much already and it only ended yesterday.”
“Then go after her, Ashton. I don’t understand why you’re giving up on her so easily.”
“Because she’s already given up.”
“But if you love her -”
“I love her enough that if she wants to walk away and leave me, then I’m going to let her go. I can’t make Lexie love me back.”
“You can’t make her, but you can show her that she already does,” she tries.
Before I can respond, I hear Reed ask, “Dad, are you okay?”
Turning towards him, my chest tightens at the thought that he overheard me. “I’m fine, little man, why?”
“You had your head on the fridge door.”
“Oh, right. I just have a headache. Will you go find the headache pills in my bathroom for me?”
“The bottle with the picture of the brown pills?”
I nod and he goes off to get medicine for my fake headache.
“Did he hear you?” Brooke speaks up.
“I don’t think so. Let me get off here and cook breakfast. I’ll bring him home around six or seven.”
For the rest of Do-Anything-Reed-Wants Day, I wait for Reed to ask me about my phone call with Brooke, but he never does. Good. He must not have heard anything, then.