Let's Be Crazy (Oh Captain, My Captain 4)

Ashton

There is no worse feeling in the world than seeing Brooke frantic and knowing before she speaks a word, that something is wrong with our child. I’ve never seen Reed so upset, so heartbroken before. My kid was an absolute wreck all because Sadie didn’t want to be his friend anymore because of Lexie. I was furious.

I am furious.

All Lex had to do was stay instead of walking away. I don’t think if I had gone after her, to change her mind, it would have made much of a difference. Not this time. I want to hate her so much for indirectly making Reed cry like he did, but part of me blames myself. As soon as I found out that she was Sadie’s mom, maybe I should have left things alone so something like this wouldn’t have the chance to happen.

I don’t even want to be in my own house because she’s here. Turning away as Sadie and Reed mumble sorrys to each other over chicken nuggets, I need air, Lexie-free air. The nipping air outside doesn’t help as much, so I walk out to my truck and lean against the passenger door. I can’t get the sight or sound of Reed from earlier out of my head. That doesn’t even include how he puked all over me. Squeezing my eyes, I try to shake the thoughts away.

My eyes open at the sound of my door opening. Damn it, Lexie is walking towards me. Dealing with her right now isn’t even on my list of things to do. I don’t say a word as she stands across from me. I only stare at her.

“May we talk for a moment?”

“You can talk, sure.”

“Ashton, I’m sorry about what happened today. I never wanted the kids to be part of any of this. I really mean that.” The sincerity in her voice is overwhelming.

“I know, but I’m not the one who needs the apology.”

“I apologized to Reed and Brooke, but I thought you should hear it too. I don’t have a lot of regrets in my life,” she swallows hard and continues, “but I’m beginning to wonder about one of them.”

“Lex,” I sigh her name. “I don’t want to do this today. As long as Reed is happy, I honestly don’t care about anything else right now. I don’t want to deal with anything else.”

“Ashton, I know you don’t want to deal with this, but just listen,” she pleads. “When I met you, you were full of life and love. In the matter of two months, I’ve been able to turn you into this bitter person. I’ve caused my daughter to be as miserable as I am. Tiff won’t even speak to me, and all I can do is think about where I went wrong. I wasn’t always like this. I was fun and carefree. I just don’t know how to get there again without feeling guilty that I’m leaving my past behind.” She watches me for a moment. “I thought you should know that.”

I stare at her, mulling over her words. “You want to know where you went wrong?”

She nods.

“You walked away. You walked away before me or Tiffany or anyone else could help you through the guilt. That’s where you went wrong.” I push off the side of my truck and walk past her back into the house.

The first thing I hear is the carefree laughter of Reed and Sadie. I can’t help my smile when I see them on the couch, watching cartoons on TV with Brooke. They don’t notice me at first, but Brooke does. Her face is full of questions, but I just shake my head.

“Sadie, are you ready to go?” Lexie suddenly appears next to me.

“Can’t I stay longer, Mommy? Please?”

“Yeah, please,” Reed begins to beg her as well.

“I’ll take her home,” Brooke offers. “If you don’t mind her staying.”

The kids give Lexie their best hopeful expressions before she nods. Sadie hops up to hug and kiss her and then she’s gone. Once she’s back on the couch next to Reed, he turns to me.

“So, what are we doing?”

“What are you talking about?” I ask him.

“What are we going to do? Can we go get ice cream?”

“No,” Brooke and I answer.

“We aren’t going anywhere,” I add. “Cartoons and the toys in your room is as good as it gets today.”

Reed nods, smiling before turning back to Sadie. “C’mon, Sadie. I just remembered that Uncle Jax sent me a new toy. He even sent you something.” He makes his best gross face. “It’s pink. I’ll show you.”

They run full speed to his room, Brooke yelling after them about not running in the house. I sit on the couch, leaning back, and sinking into the cushions, wanting nothing more than to relax for ten seconds.

“Well?” Brooke questions.