‘I understand, Tilly.’ The smooth seductiveness of his voice caressed her jangled nerves, soothing the anxiety. ‘Much more than you might think.’
As if sensing she was giving in, he stood up and very slowly moved towards her. ‘What do you understand?’ The question came out as a whisper as she tried to think over the throbbing beat of her pulse. How could this be happening again? How could she lose control of herself so quickly?
‘That you were afraid of the passion that burnt in you, afraid because of what happened with Jason.’
‘It has nothing to do with Jason.’ As she spoke, everything became clear. She’d loved Jason in a gentle, platonic kind of way and it had taken Xavier and one enforced night in his company to show her what real love was.
No wonder Jason had wanted more than companionship. She hadn’t been able to love or let passion into her heart and their relationship. Her childhood had ensured that but it didn’t justify him jilting her on their wedding day.
She looked at Xavier, the man she had been passionate with, and saw the dark intensity in his eyes. Did he believe her? Did he know he’d unlocked things she’d been shutting out all her adult life?
‘Well, mia cara, whatever the reason for last night, you should be that spontaneous woman again, live for the moment, but most of all you should let passion into your life.’
‘Is that the voice of experience?’ She couldn’t keep the mocking tone from her voice. Who was he to tell her what she should be?
He moved closer still but she didn’t step back, even though she could have. She held his gaze, desperate to prove passion wasn’t burning inside her, as he’d said. But it was a lie. The embers of last night were being coaxed to life. It was happening all over again and she couldn’t let it.
Suddenly the dimly lit room was flooded with light. Lamps glowed as the power returned. The shadows receded, taking with them her fears and the passion Xavier had almost rekindled.
‘Thank goodness.’ Quickly she moved away from him and the temptation of his touch. ‘At least we will have heat and light this evening.’ It also meant she’d be able to sleep alone in her bed.
‘And we will not have to spend another night here in front of the fire?’ His sexy accent gave those words a deeper meaning, one she couldn’t think about.
She shot him a glance, his dry tone echoing her own relief. She had to get out of here right now, before she gave in to the newly discovered spontaneity he’d mentioned and asked him to take her to his bed.
‘As you are busy with work, I will say goodnight.’ She kept her voice firm and devoid of any emotion, the unruffled exterior she normally lived behind returning as the panic of earlier ebbed away.
His brows flicked up briefly, but the shocked expression was soon replaced by the cold calmness she’d seen that morning. ‘That is not necessary, not when there is a warm fire here.’
‘I think it is, Xavier. As I said earlier, what happened last night shouldn’t have.’
‘But it did happen, cara.’ He moved towards her again. She held her ground, standing tall, her chin lifted in a blatant show of defiance. ‘And that cannot be undone.’
‘I know that.’ The strangled whisper that slipped from her alarmed her as much as the thought of spending more time with a man who made her feel emotions she just wasn’t ready to experience.
‘Take candles and matches with you,’ he said dismissively, and even though she was relieved he’d let the subject go, she couldn’t help the disappointment that crashed over her.
‘Goodnight, Xavier.’ She forced as much control as possible into her voice, picked up the candles and matches and headed for the door. She was almost sorry to leave the warmth of the fire for a room that would probably still be cold after almost twenty-four hours without heat, but she couldn’t stay here with him any longer. Not when he tested her, pushing her towards everything she’d always resisted—everything she should still resist.
‘Tilly?’
‘Yes?’ She swung round to look at him, cursing the excited hope that flared to life.
‘Sleep well.’
She nodded then left before she gave in to the temptation to rush over to him, throw her arms around him and be the woman she’d been last night—the woman who loved him.
* * *
Xavier watched Tilly go and felt every last bit of willpower being tested. He wanted to go after her, sweep her into his arms and carry her to the large four-poster bed in which he’d spent the first night at the manor—alone.