Finding Carson Lee (Oh Captain, My Captain 3)

Not only was I stupid enough to let things between Kinley and me end so fast, to so easily slip back into my ways, but on top of that, my father from hell is

back in the picture. I hadn’t heard anything about him in years and honestly, I hoped that meant he died of an overdose like my mom did. For years, I worked my ass off, kept as many mouths closed as possible, and did something good with my success and with my charity work. Five minutes is all it took to destroy it.

The semi-good news is that I haven’t been able to miss Kinley’s snarky mouth because of this shit. My phone buzzes next to me, but I ignore it. There’s not a soul on earth that I want to talk to right now.

A rapid knocking comes from my door. I don’t move to answer it, hoping whoever it is will go away. It stops for about five seconds before it starts again.

“Carson Lee, answer the door! I know you’re here.”

I lift my head at the sound of Kinley’s voice. Okay, so there may be one soul I wouldn’t mind seeing. Standing, I go open the door. Her hand is still up in the air, ready to knock.

“Are you okay?” she asks as her hand falls back to her side.

My happiness at seeing her takes a nosedive. Of course, that’s why she’s here. The story has been on every local station since it first aired yesterday. I let that affect me for half a second before I push it aside, nod, and step back so she can come inside. Once I close the door, I turn to her. She’s not more than an arm’s length away from me, so I reach out and pull her to me, wrapping my arms around her.

“It’s good to see you, sweetheart,” I whisper when her arms return my hug.

“Cassie showed me the video and I wanted to come, but didn’t know where you were exactly. Then Mike called and told me you were home, so here I am,” she explains. “Carson, I-”

Kinley is interrupted by someone else knocking at my door. I make another stupid mistake and open the door.

“What the fuck do you want?” I ask my father. He looks like hell from years of abusing drugs. I have no clue how he’s still alive.

He pushes his way into the house, openly gaping at what I built with my success. “I see you’re living extremely well, son.” Dad looks at Kinley. “And you even have a beautiful woman too. One of many, apparently. That’s how I was able to find you. One of those nice girls gave me your address and then I followed in after her to get passed the gate. I’m proud of you,” he adds, looking around again.

I grab his arm, tugging him backwards. “Get out and go die in the hole you crawled out of.”

“You know, I’m surprised you made it this far in your career. Mike has been good to you.”

“Keep him out of it,” I snap. Mike was my coach when I first started playing. When I moved up and was put into the state’s care, he couldn’t care for me himself, but he got me to practice and made sure that I still had hockey. Long story short, he ended up being my agent and has been with me ever since. He’s probably the best paid person in the field because I make sure that I repay him somehow for all he did and continues to do for me. “What the fuck do you even want from me? Why are you coming after me now?”

He stands across from me with a grin. He shouldn’t with how his teeth look. “Didn’t you see the news? I’m so sorry for what happened when you were growing up.” He sounds anything but. Kind of hard when he’s smiling about it. He suddenly loses his smile and attempts to look sincere. “I am sorry, Carson. Your mother and I didn’t do our best and the way she died was terrible.

“It opened my eyes that I shouldn’t be this way.” Ha, yeah, if that’s the tale he’s spinning, he should do a better job. His hands are shaking, even after he stuffs them in his pockets. “I’ve been fighting tooth and nail to get clean. I-”

I roll my eyes. Before he can go further, I interrupt him, “Cut the bullshit. What do you really want? You didn’t come all this way after all this time to make amends. Say it already, so you can get the fuck out.”

My father watches me for a moment before dropping his act. “Your old man has hit tough times and needs a little help. I know you are more than capable of providing that.”

“Money? You want my money?” I scoff. “The money I got without any help from you? The money I worked my ass off for so I could do whatever the fuck I wanted without anybody holding me back and so I wouldn’t have to ask for help. There’s not a chance in hell.”

Dad laughs and shakes his head like I’m funny. “You’re stingy just like your mother was.”

Before he can say anymore, I throw my arm back and punch him in the jaw. Mom had a problem, she knew she did, and she was close to the point of seeking help. She was nice and she cared. He was the opposite, especially when he was high. Dad liked to persuade her into shooting up with him and one day, she overdosed from needing too much.

“Carson!” Kinley screams from behind me as Dad stumbles backwards.

“Get the fuck off my property,” I growl at him.

“This isn’t over. I need your help,” he mumbles through the blood spilling from his mouth.

“You need help, but not from me. Not now, not ever. If you come back here, or do anything else publicly, there will be charges.”

With that, I shove him out the door and slam it closed, releasing a line of cuss words, and turning to see Kinley. Her eyes are wide, but she steps forward to place a hand on my arm. I shrug away from her. “Not now.” Walking around her, my plan is to leave the room.

“Carson,” she starts.

“I said not fucking now, Kinley,” I yell at her over my shoulder. But then I stop and face her, the rage too much to keep my mouth shut. “What the fuck do you want?” I throw my hands up. “Why are you even here? I’m not ready for you, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?” With a deep breath, I calm down just a bit. “I panicked over you choosing hockey because I don’t understand why. You love football and barely know anything about hockey. I don’t get it, Kinley!” My voice rises again. “And in case you didn’t notice, my life is shit right now. I’m not ready for you, so get the hell out.”