Finding Carson Lee (Oh Captain, My Captain 3)

Part of me wants to correct him. I’m not a “one woman man.” I’m Kinley’s man or no one’s man. She’s it for me and if we don’t work out, there’s no one else.

“It’s a nice change though,” Tyler pipes in after him.

Yes, it is. Practice resumes and my mind wanders. I almost thought Kinley was going to send me back home the other night, but she didn’t. My surprise visit probably threw her for a loop. I wanted to see her and see her in her home instead of mine, so there I went. Will there be a day when her home is my home, when it’s one place instead of two? When I won’t have to go to another place to see her because she’s right where belongs? Would Kinley even want that? There’s plenty of time before I’ll find out. We’re still rolling with the tides for now.

When practice is over, a couple of teammates and I make plans to meet up at a bar later. Kinley will be working late, so it’s a good opportunity to hang out with the guys again. On my way back to the house before lunch, I call Kinley.

“Hello?” she answers sounding a bit frenzied even with just one word.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Carson Lee, I’m working. What else would I be doing?” I laugh at her tone. “Hockey players are one big pain in my ass. Well, with the exception of Hudson King and Brody Ross. They are quite pleasant.”

“What are you talking about? Sweetheart, I was only almost pleasant and they are already ‘quite pleasant’?” King doesn’t bother me as much as Ross. The incident from the last game replays in my mind.

“Oh my God. Are you still on that? They have been the easiest to work with so far. Was there a point to your call other than to complain about something that was said a long time ago?”

“Only to talk to you for a few before I left for lunch with your father.”

That catches her attention. “Why are you having lunch with him? How come I didn’t know? I mean, it’s great you two are spending time together.”

“It was a bit last minute and because I wanted to talk to him.”

“Oh, okay. Good. Well, I have to go. Love you.” The phone clicks to end the call just as I hear her answering another from the phone in her office.

Slowly, I pull my cell away from my ear and stare at it. She loves me? Does she realize what she said? Did she mean it or was it an automatic response? Who knows when I’ll get answers to my questions because she’s working late tonight. The bigger question is if she does, how do I feel about it?

That mulls over in my mind as I drive to meet Mr. Wright. He’s already sitting down at a table, so I sit across from him. A waiter pops up and goes ahead to take our order.

“Thanks for meeting me, Mr. Wright.”

“Of course, Carson. I thought it would be nice to catch up. I haven’t really talked to you since Utah.”

“That’s why I thought lunch would be a good idea. Plus, I wanted to see if you feel the same as your wife about Kinley and me.”

“You know I figured this was the real reason. I like that you got right to the point too. I told you how I felt about my wife. I loved her the moment I saw her, and she shot me down. However, she changed my life. I don’t know where I would be right now if I hadn’t walked up to her that night.” The love he has for his wife is evident in the tone of his words and the light in his eyes. Am I the same way when I talk about Kinley?

“I think I know what you mean. Kinley has been amazing with her patience. I was able to, uh, talk to her about my family without having to explain a lot when my dad showed up.”

“I saw that about your dad. I’m sorry, but I’m glad it happened. It will only help you in the long haul, Carson. You may not understand this right now, but I lean on my wife a lot. She’s a little hard on Kinley, but she has very good heart. Kinley is like her mom. She’s a great listener and she can handle more than you think. Don’t keep everything bottled up. It’ll only be a slow, painful death for you.”

“It’s getting easier to share things with Kinley for the most part.” And it is. I hope that one day I can tell her anything and everything without a second thought. One thing about what he said sticks out to me, so I ask about it. “You lean on her?”

“Yes, I do. It took me a long time to realize it. I’m stubborn, but Ruby never pushed me to open up to her. The first time that I did, I was scared, nervous, and didn’t know if she would stay with me. But she did and over time, I opened up more, and it made me better. A better man. A better husband. A better father.”

I nod in understanding. Her “love you” is bothering me a little. “Could I ask you something about Kinley?” Mr. Wright shakes his head in a yes. “Is she usually pretty vocal about her feelings? I mean, I know she is about what she wants, but…” My voice trails off as the waiter sets our plates down in front of us.

“Let me put to you this way. If Kinley didn’t like you or care for you, she wouldn’t be with you.” He seems to weigh what he’s about to say before speaking. “I don’t know how much she told you about her and Elliott, but Kinley left because she didn’t have the same feelings for him anymore. She didn’t think she should punish them both with a unhappy marriage.”

“She has talked to me about them, but I-” How am I supposed to explain what I’m feeling? Finally, I blurt out, “She told me, ‘love you,’ before she hung up earlier. I don’t even know if she knows she said it.”

“Let me guess,” he smiles, “it scared the shit out of you?”

I chuckle. “A little bit.”

“Happened to me too. See, I love Ruby. She’s my soul mate, but when she told me her feelings, I almost bolted.” That’s not what I want to do. “I felt that way because I didn’t know if I could love her the way she should be loved.” I de

finitely know what he’s talking about there too. “But after a second of panic, I was willing to try. If Kinley said it, she means it. However, let me tell you one thing. There is nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for my little girl. Don’t let the jacket and tie fool you, son. I will kill you in one point two seconds if you hurt her. But,” he chuckles, “I don’t think you will. I was always unsure of Elliott because Kinley is a little hard to handle. You’re different because you can handle her.”