Prologue
Raegan
It began with a slap here, a punch there. I’ve kept things hidden deep down, refusing to tell anyone. I explain the bruises away, telling them it was just a mistake, that it’s only just begun. But the truth is, it’s been going on for too long. Every night, Dad broke a glass, or more than one, leading to more liquor spilt on the floor, and more beatings. I don’t think I will ever understand this.
I sink down beside my bed, bury my head in my hands, and just cry. Was he really doing things like that to my stepmom all this time and I never knew it? Always on the go, I never stayed home, avoiding his rages. How could I have been blind to what he was doing to her right in front of my eyes?
All of a sudden I don’t blame Nancy for leaving him. I wish she’d taken me with her, because right now, I am more than ready to get out of here.
***
James pulls his phone out of his pocket and checks the time. “Oh shit.”
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“We’re going to be late. Come on, I have a surprise for you.”
He grabs my hand, pulling me to my feet. He races out of the driveway still not telling me where we’re going. He pulls up at an old brick building located south of town. There are cars lined up and down the street and it takes a minute before James is able to find a spot.
“Where are we?” I ask, dumbfounded.
“Just follow me, babe.”
We weave through the mass of people and my eyes widen when I spot the ring for first time. It’s the ring from the flier at my kickboxing class. The flier I’ve stared at day after day, wishing I could experience the fights, be a part of this world. Maybe even be a fighter—raise my fists, stand my ground, be what I need to be to protect myself. But I could never do that. Could I?
“Seriously, James, how could you keep this a secret?”
“I wanted to surprise you,” he smirks, leaning in to kiss me.
He continues to push us closer to the front so we can have a good view. The lights are warm in the little room but I’m so pumped it’s not bothering me.
The announcer speaks with a mesmerizing, smooth tone that captures everyone’s attention. He announces a lineup that has everyone going crazy. I don’t know who any of these people are but I’m anxious to learn. Two women get in the ring. One of them has a long jet black ponytail, and she’s ruthless; I’d be scared to go against her. I watch the swift movement of her feet and hands. She’s quick, and I catch myself trying to mimic her in my head. James just looks down at me and grins.
She wins her match and the crowd erupts in cheers, people jump from their seats and pump their fists into the air. She steps out of the ring, walking off with confidence and a bounce to her step. A couple guys are next and the energy inside the arena is nothing short of pure exhilaration. One of the fighters is covered in tribal tattoos, his muscled limbs inked up and bronzed from the sun. The other has pale skin which is untainted, smooth and covered in a sheen of sweat. The fight is almost a total knock out. The tattooed fighter didn’t stand a chance. His movements weren’t fluid and his steps were way off compared to his opponent. The man without tattoos walks by me after the match, and I glance up to see piercing blue eyes; he seems to glance in my direction. He smirks, and I almost believe the flirting is meant for me—but how could it be?
After several matches, we head back to the vehicle. “Oh my God, James, that was so exciting! I wonder how you get into that?”
I’m positive I could do it; with my kickboxing classes, I’ve only gotten better and better. I enrolled in kickboxing when things with Dad started getting rough. I wanted to be able to think quickly and use the necessary skills if things intensified. I didn’t want to be the doormat who sat back and just let it happen.
“Calm down there, Raegan. I’m glad you liked it but I don’t think so.”
“Why not?” I pout. “I can be good, you know that.”
“Or you could get hurt and I couldn’t live with that.”
I frown as he leans in to kiss my lips. I can dream of being in there with those fighters, but I know I’ll never be able to. I’m more than a little bummed, because it looks too thrilling to pass up. If I just had the chance…
Chapter 1
I should have known to hang onto that happiness, because two days later my entire world crumbled. Dad has never put his hands on me like he did that day. Anger poured from him like I’ve never seen before. His eyes were blood red and every vein in his neck throbbed. I had done nothing wrong, but when I came home he unleashed his fury on me. After he pummeled me in the stomach, I was gasping for air. Part of me yearned to fight back, to show him I wasn’t a rag doll. But the other part of me believed I deserved it. I’m not one of those women in the fighting ring; I’m just Raegan. I’m pretty sure I have a cracked rib or something, it hurts so badly. Pain lances through my body like a heated knife blade.
James is begging me to turn him in and leave but I refuse to listen. It can’t always be like this. Something has got to give. My real dad will come back to me. This man is nothing but a mere stranger.
***
Two days. It’s been two days since James signed papers on our apartment. Two days since I started packing all my things in boxes. Two days since I witnessed my first fights in the ring and I’ve been secretly thinking of them since. Two days since I’ve avoided Dad at all costs. We’ve held conversation through text messages but we haven’t seen each other face to face. I keep waiting for some sort of apology, like maybe he had an out of body experience or something when he laid his hands on me, but there was nothing so I don?
??t bring it up. I’ll be gone soon and maybe one day we can figure out what happened, but until then I’m just getting by.
As I look in the mirror, I realize I can no longer make out the fingerprints on my upper arm which makes me happy. James was starting to think I was crazy for wearing a jacket because it wasn’t cool outside at all. Even I was beginning to think I was crazy.
I change into a pink tank top and throw on a pair of shorts ready to go help James pick out our new furniture. I don’t care what it looks like as long as it is comfortable and ours. I just want a couch I can relax on while I watch cheesy Lifetime movies when James is at work.
It is quiet in the house which I am thankful for. Avoiding Dad has been fairly easy and if things continue to flow this smoothly until I leave for good, then I am perfectly okay with that.
But as I cross the kitchen, his voice fills the quiet dense air. “You still got it in your head you’re moving out?”
I turn slowly after taking a deep breath before facing the man who now seems like a complete stranger to me. He’s not in uniform which means he must be off work today. “I am, Dad.” My voice is firm, not quavering, which surprises me. “James signed the lease two days ago. I already told you this.” I regret adding that last sentence; yes, I told him, but he wouldn’t remember. He’d been drunk at the time.