“You don’t have anything to worry about anything. I’ll act like none of this ever happened.”
“I, I didn’t mean it like that Garrett.” Her face turns pale.
“Really, it’s fine. I don’t have time for a relationship either so consider it forgotten. Nothing more than a guilty pleasure. We can just be two friends with benefits if that’s what you want to call it.”
“Oh.”
She looks like she may cry, and it’s all my fault. The perfect evening we just had was ruined. When she leaves, I drag myself off the couch, grab the vase from the table, and throw it across the room. Shards of glass fly everywhere but I ignore the mess because I just screwed up something that meant a lot to me.
Despite my wanting it to be, it wasn’t a dream, and I know because she avoids me the next day. She does all her training with Lance and pretends I don’t exist.
My heart feels like it’s been ripped out. But then, I hurt her first.
Chapter 13
Raegan
“Keep your hands up, Raegan. Whoever you’re against could throw a punch at any time and I can almost guarantee you it will knock you on your ass if you aren’t prepared.” Whitney stood beside me and Lance inside Lou’s, watching us spar.
I’m nervous, and it doesn’t help that my evening with Garrett keeps playing over and over again in my head. All I wanted to do was make sure he wasn’t going to treat me any differently, and instead he starts saying he doesn’t have time for a relationship. My heart sinks knowing that there can never be anything between us. I feel remorseful, wishing I had not brought it up.
He’s watching me, too, and I wonder if he’s trying to get my attention, but I’m not giving it to him. I can’t believe I locked lips with him. I want to put my lips in a pot of boiling water and remove any trace he left on them—even if it was the best kiss I’ve ever had.
Dad and I actually held a decent conversation last night once I got home. I was grateful for that, since my evening with Garrett didn’t end the way I’d expected. Part of me wishes Dad would talk about what’s happened recently, but rehashing it isn’t what I want. I just want him to apologize, try to fix things. He asked what I’ve been up to and whether or not I wanted to pursue college. I told him maybe one day—but not now. I just want to focus on myself. I didn’t tell him about my training.
Dinner was cooked and on the stove. It was only ground beef, but it was a meal, and those have been scarce since Nancy left. If I stayed home more often, I could cook for him. But between training and the fights, I’m hardly here. Hell, that’s the plan; every moment I’m home, I’m risking more abuse from him.
I’m snapped back into reality when Howard calls me over to make sure I’m positive I want to continue on this path. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Garrett watching me, scowling. If he wants to be an arrogant ass, then I can be a stubborn bitch: I blow him a kiss and saunter away. And here we go, round and round in a vicious circle. When it’s spinning in the right direction it’s absolutely amazing.
Howard heads into the office, and Garrett tries to talk to me. Before he can speak, I throw him an innocent smile and whisper, “Hey, friend-with-benefits.”
The look on his face betrays emptiness and revulsion, and he appears even more irritated when I strike up conversation with Lance.
“What are you doing tonight, Lance?”
“Why? What are you up to, Raegan? If it’s more cock-blocking, I’m out.”
My body shakes with laughter as I remember last night. He had that coming; I don’t know why he didn’t see that.
“I won’t do that. I promise. Let’s go get drunk and make bad decisions. You can be my partner in crime. What do ya say?”
Garrett stomps over. “Do you really think that’s a good idea, Raegan?” He crosses his arms over his chest, trying to intimidate me. “You’ve got a big day coming.”
Our gazes meet and my expression turns cold. “I don’t care what you think, Garrett. Your opinion doesn’t matter. I’m nothing to you, remember?”
Lance looks betw
een the two of us and starts laughing. I punch him and he throws his arms in the air. “You two crack me up.” Lance shakes his head. “Why don’t you just screw each other already?”
I feel my face flush; Garrett mumbles something to Lance, then stalks off toward Whitney.
“Good going, asshole,” I say through gritted teeth, punching him in the arm.
“Damn, I wish I could say you hit like a girl, but you don’t. That shit hurt!”
Sabotage never felt so good, even if I was breaking inside because of Garrett. I just want him to understand the insignificance I feel. Whitney waves, telling us goodbye. This is the moment I dread. She and Howard are leaving to go to a doctor’s appointment. Garrett takes this as his chance to leave too, but not before he walks back up to me, leaning in where only I can hear, and whispers, “I screwed up. But don’t think this is over yet, I’m not done, and I won’t stop until you’re mine.”
My breath turns ragged, my whole body tingles. I watch him walk away, hating the effect he has on me.